1. Commie Scientist at NASA thinks that the people that voted in November are too ignorant to live.2. Ugly people are screwed in life. Low IQ's should add to their self esteem.
3. 3rd graders in UFO country smoke pot to cope with alien life.
4. Slime ball John Edwards gets ready to face a grand jury for being a wife hating douche bag.
5. Looking to cure the winter blues? Here are some tips to help you get through this miserable season.
6. FHM releases its hottest 100 women list. Unfortunately for us these guys are terrible judges.
7. Chinese leaders insult United States as they come to see their buddy Obama (who also hates America).
8. Food crisis panic begins. This is what happens in the absence of leadership.
