THINGS OF NOTE

Led Zeppelin if finally pulling their heads out of there asses and making all of their music available online.

Paris Hilton goes overboard with her jungle fever. You know there will be at least 5 new movies coming out of this visit.

HIP HOP POLICE take one of the few remaining good artists off the street. This smells like a set up. FREE T.I.!!!!

Scientist finally watch "Big Trouble in Little China" and start exploring the tunnels beneath China Town. Just remember what Jack Burton says :"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it."

What if this kid remembers not to take candy from strangers?

The reason people have been seeing UFO's at an alarming rate this past year is finally disclosed.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

1. I normally don't drink a lot of coffee but for whatever reason I have had 6 cups of coffee or coffee type product this weekend. I never noticed it before but drinking coffee makes your urine stink.

2. Why do they ask you if your card is debit or credit? As far as I can tell it makes no difference.

3. My wife would rather be entertained than informed. That is a quote directly from her.

4. Why do Nebraska fans continue to refer to their defense as "The black shirts"? Are they that clueless? I have 2 Nebraska fans in my office and I have never seen such sore losers. They are actually complaining about scores being run up on them. WHERE WAS THIS TALK when it was Nebraska dominating (running up the scores) the Big 8/12?

5. Sprint continues to be a complete cluster. The firing/resignation of the CEO is the latest in a bunch of blunders that seem to of all started once the ION project failed. I scratched Sprint from my client list aprox 3 years ago and people couldn't believe it. I told them that the company was to undependable to count on for revenue and I was not going to put myself in a position that their mismanagement could cost me money. 3 years later my business couldn't be better and those that remained loyal to Sprint have been getting burned.

6. Any tent that can't stay up during a rainfall deserves to be broken.

7. Who is it out there that is purchasing single ply toilet paper and what the hell are you thinking?

8. Time Warner Cable Sucks. If my wife wasn't hooked to her email address and signed us up for the phone service I would dump them. The only thing worst is Comcast.

9. Why do they call it planned parenthood? Shouldn't it be called unplanned parenthood?

10. My wife thinks that flu shots are a scam but thinks I should get a Pneumonia shot?

STORES THAT GET MY $$$$

At one time I tried to buy from locally owned companies but they seem to be disappearing.

1. Quick Trip - I would die without this place
2. Best Buy - First stop for all electronics and computer needs
3. Macy's/Jones - The only place that I typically buy clothes
4. Target - I refuse to go to Wal-mart
5. Westlake Hardware - This place is a couple of blocks from my house and is like the Quick Trip of Hardware stores
6. Oklahoma Joes BBQ supply store - They just opened this store but it will be replacing Smoke & Fire from my list.
7. Bass Pro Shop - There is nothing you can't buy at this store.
8. Dicks Sporting goods - Quickly falling off the list now that Bass Pro Shop has opened.
9. Central & Worth Harley Davidson
10. Home Depot - All Hardware purchases over $50 are done here.

I AM MAKING CHILI FOR DINNER ON SUNDAY

Thank you to everyone that came over to the house on Sunday. It was a blast. I enjoy cooking for large groups and having people over. I hope that you and your kids all had fun.


Tidbits from Sunday
1. I had my own carny for a day to set up and take down the moonwalk and cotton candy machine. As a boy I could never imagine myself employing a carny. Anything can happen in America.
2. It is not suppose to be 90 degrees in October. When I settled on a date the forecast said 60 degrees. The weather people in this town are a FREAKING JOKE. I could put my 3 year old in front of a weather map and get a more accurate forecast.
3. The food was done AHEAD of schedule. I would like to thank the good people of WEBER and BRINKMAN for making high quality cooking instruments.
4. The Chiefs returned to their true form on Sunday. 10 YARDS OF RUSHING for THE GAME! I have seen fat people run to the Buffet at Ryan's Steak House with more agility than Larry Johnson displayed on Sunday.
5. Thank you to CBS for deciding NOT to put the Chiefs game in HD. They would do it the weekend I am having people over. I think it is a joke that a major broadcasting company like CBS can't put every NFL game in HD.
6. Thank you to Kent & Mark for supplying Beer on Sunday.
7. Congratulations to my brother and his family on their news.
8. Thank you to my wife for her role in the clean up and set up.
9. Congratulations to Kristin for her completion of ONE WINE COOLER. My mother in law out drank my sister in law.
10. My mom was able to make Cotton Candy. Ever since my Dad mentioned to me that my mom wanted to do that I have been trying to figure out how to accomplish this.

WEEKEND THINGS OF NOTE

1. Cropping. This is where a bunch of women get together to "make memories" for their families. I do find it a little bit funny that they make these memories away from their families. I suggested that Kerry go to one of these on Friday hoping that it would recharge her batteries.
2. Lousiburg Cider Mill implemented Donut rationing during their annual Cider fest. This is exactly the type of news one wants to hear after waiting 3o minutes in line ( no exaggeration) in a cramp, hot barn full of screaming kids.
3. Turkey Legs at the Ren Fest are terrible. They use to be pretty good and worth waiting in line for but recently they haven't been worth feeding to the homeless. I took 3 bites and chucked mine in the trash.
4. I watched more NASCAR this weekend than football. This is a first.
5. 3 little kids is one too many to handle alone when at a restaurant. Especially when the 3rd is your wife. That is all I will say on that subject.
6. I have a freezer full of nothing. "Honey, what is in the freezer downstairs" , "Nothing", "you mean its empty?" "No it is full but there is nothing in it"
7. People in this area suck at driving. This becomes clearer to me the more I ride my motorcycle.
8. 1.5 gigs of memory while running Vista will melt your lap
9. My wifes cat is straight out of Pet Cemetery.
10. The weather people in this city blew another forecast. Sunday the rain was suppose to arrive early and then leave the rest of the day rain free. At least I got to watch them blow it in HD.

TONY G

Tonight is dance night for the girls and Kerry usually brings home Fast Food. I hate Fast Food so I ran up to Whole Foods to make a salad. While up there I ran into Tony Gonzalez and his wife. I spent prob 10 minutes talking to him as we waited for the Salad Bar to be restocked. He was a real nice guy. The subject of the ball being thrown to him was brought up and he was hopeful that it continued.

WEEKEND THINGS OF NOTE

• I went 7-3 in my office Pick Em which once again put me in 2nd place. This will be the 4th straight week that I finish 2nd. The first place winner has not been the same all year.
  
• I went to the Plaza Art Fair and didn't see any Art. That is a win in my book.
• We went to the Bristol for dinner on Saturday night and dined on Steak, Lobster shrimp etc for free thanks to some gift cards my employer gave me awhile back. The food was good but I still prefer McCormick & Schmick's.
• The lawn mowing in my neighborhood is pathetic.
  
• The Rhythm Rockets are a worth seeing.
• The Chiefs defense is the best I have seen since Marty left. They are currently ranked #4 in the NFL.
  
• Nebraska is the most over rated team in college football. Ball State???
• It is possible to watch 4 NFL games on Sundays.
  
• I still have not fired up my new smoker!
• It is time to start planning my October Chili/Sausage event.
• My wife spent over 10 hours on the computer yesterday. I have realized that I am a scrapbooker enabler. She is now going to be hooked on digital scrap booking due a new tablet that I got her.
  

Notes From This Week

1. Gas Station Car Wash's should just disconnect the dryers. THEY DO NOT WORK.

2. My 10 year streak of not hitting an animal while driving came to and end this morning. At aprox 10:43am I ran over a squirrel in downtown KCK. I have found comfort in the fact that I might of actually done him/her a favor due to its place of residence.

3. Normally I don't like sweets but I discovered Ben & Jerry's Peach Cobbler ice cream this week. I am on carton #2.

4. Manny's Mexican joint on SW Blvd is over rated. Do not believe the hype.

5. You never see Chinese people working at BBQ joints. This topic was covered extensively in my office this week. There is a $50 prize if anyone can bring back photographic proof of this.

6. Midgets can be homeless too. I met "Stan" this morning outside the Federal Reserve Building downtown. He had a cardboard sign asking for money, not will work for money, just money. Two things ran through my head. 1. I had never seen a homeless midget. 2. People in SUV's will never see that guys sign.

7. The Wal Mart in Topeka might posses the scariest collection of white people on earth.

8. My wife can make an incredible salad. The salads I make at the salad bar are inferior to the creation that she brought home last night.

9. My youngest daughter is a freaking comedian. Every thing she does is an attempt by her to be funny, and it works.

10. My oldest daughter might be a little bit spoiled. My wife on the other hand is spoiled.

LUNCH

My job is to entertain current and future clients which means that I have an expense account that I get to abuse on a monthly basis. This includes Golf, Royals Games, Gift Cards, Donuts, cookies and the most important thing, Lunch. Having free lunches at nice restaurants everyday use to be a nice perk. How many people get to eat where ever they want for free 4 days a week? One day I could be eating at the Plaza III and the next some good Sports Bar Food and then some BBQ.

After nearly 9 years of entertaining people it has become old. I actually hope that the clients will have to reschedule just so I can get some down time. It is tough to be "on" all the time and to continually make excuses for the people that work for me. I have an excellent client base and it is no longer necessary for me to "whine and dine" them, yet it is expected.

So I figured once a week I will post where I have eaten and what I had so I can reflect back at the end of the year on the variety of food I have had. So just to get caught up here is a list of places I have been in September.

1. Fox & The Hound
2. YaHooz - Town Center
3. Parabskis deli - Topeka
4. Glory Days Pizza - Topeka
5. 1924 Main - Downtown
6. Manny's - SW Blvd
7. Arthur Bryants - Downtown
8. George Brett's - Plaza
9. Hereford House - Downtown
10. Pierponts - Union Station.

Today I am heading back down to Manny's

Things of note over the weekend

1. People are cheap. I would rather throw stuff in the trash than haggle with them.
2. Mongolians cannot translate BBQ
3. Sally Field is a communist, of course so is much of Hollywood.
4. Alan Greenspan is senile.
5. Windows Vista is a pain in the ass to install but once it is in it is worth it.
6. My wife has no memory retention after 8:30pm, this is a good and bad thing.
7. The IPOD I want is not coming out for 2 more weeks.
8. Do not believe the internet when shopping. Big Wheels and Weber Smokers were not suppose to be available in the KC area and could only be purchased online. Both were brought home this weekend without ordering online.
9. OJ should stick to murder, robbery is not in his skill set.
10. Mike Solari couldn’t guide an offense to a touchdown in Madden.
11. Giuliani is not scared of moveon.org or Hillary
12. Wal-Mart is crap.

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME PART 1

Getting an automated phone directory that has you push 2 for English.

Asking to see ID when using a Debit Card. I thought the whole idea of the debit card was to enter a PIN # thus eliminating the need of showing a freaking ID.

Office “get togethers” that take place after work or on the weekends. I already see these people more than my family so why in the hell would I want to see them anymore than I have to?

People that don’t vote or keep up on issues that want to discuss a “Headline” that they read in a newspaper and feel that they are subject matter experts. “Well I just read that…..” . So based off of the one article or one broadcast you feel that you now have this topic covered?

The term “The Lake”. Which freaking lake? This is used by every jackass under the age of 40 that goes to the Lake of the Ozarks.

Recreational sports guy. This ass clown gives you his box score from last nights double header at Millers Woods, or tells you about the “great round” of golf he shot this weekend, every weekend. Funny thing about Golf guy is that every time you play a round of golf with him it is his “worst round ever” and that he needs new clubs.

Word of the day. If you need a word emailed to you in order to sound intelligent, chances are it is too late.

Lane closed ahead signs, when the lane isn’t closed.

Getting two packets of taco sauce at Taco Bell for 4 people when going through the drive through.

People on Welfare for over a year. Unemployment is at an all time low in America and everyone is hiring. Living off of my tax dollars should be considered stealing and these people should be arrested and sentenced to work farms. Better yet they should be on call for tax payers. The more in taxes you pay the more hours of work you can get out of them. Why should I put in a 50 hour work week and come home to cut the grass. Call 1-800- WEL-FARE and get your lawn mowed.

Illegal Immigration Activists: Go fix the crap in your own country before you come here illegally and demand that we change our laws to suit you and your crimes.

Non HD programming on TV. I pay for 500 channels and only watch 30 because they are in HD. If I want to pay for HD programming only I should be allowed to.

The Chiefs: Carl Peterson had 6 good years and 13 bad ones yet he still has a job. What other profession other than meteorologist can you get away with that.

Movie Quote guy: This idiot is incapable of carrying on a conversation on his own and has to resort to quoting movies in order to be humorous. He also assumes that everyone has memorized every movie made since 1968.

The “Kiss Hello”. We live in the Midwest not Europe.

School Fund Raisers: Our oldest daughter attends a private school in which we pay a very large sum to on a monthly basis yet they milk us for money at every turn. It is a lot like buying a car and then having to pay extra for the steering wheel and tires.

Gas price complainers: "Did you see that gas went up 3 cents over night, good thing I bought last night in that town 50 miles from my home".

Fat People that ride the Rascals at the store: YOU ARE NOT CRIPPLED!!!!!!, You are however Fat and lazy and no I will not get the box of snack cakes off the top shelf for you.

Health Food Activist: I like dolphin in my tuna, red dye #5, sugar subs that actually taste like sugar and salt on my foods.

Double Dippers. These people should have their hands cut off.

The part time patriot.

Hey Jackass Lottery Player

Take your power ball tickets to a place that allows you to check your own tickets. What makes you think that it is a good idea to take your 100 tickets into a Shell Station and have them checked by the ONE (non English speaking) person working a cash register in the joint during the busiest time of day? You don't have to be a genius to figure out that it isn't , just look at the freaking line of pissed off people behind you.

The fact that you break out algebra equations to convert power ball winnings into scratcher tickets with someone that has pictures of money on their register due to their inability to make proper change, it is never a smooth process, pisses me off.

The fact that in your mind everyone knows exactly what the Kansas Triple play daily deuce $3 scratcher ticket looks like, but believe it or not some people actually don't, pisses me off.

The fact that you have the scratcher ticket layout behind the counter committed to memory and the schlep that spends 8 hours a day working there doesn't, pisses me off.

The fact that you spend more time transferring power ball winnings into scratcher tickets than I do transferring money from checking to savings, pisses me off.

The fact that you THEN start manually picking more power ball tickets at the register with out MOVING so that the 16 or so people in line can finally pay, pisses me off.

The fact that I had to tell you to pack up your crap and finish doing that outside so that we could get through the line and pay, well that made me feel good.

All I ask is that you don't forget about me if you do win.

Great Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Got all of my errands done in a quick manner.
2. Kick off of College Football. This will be the first season of football with my new TV
3. KU won, K State lost. Only thing missing from this is an MU loss.
4. Won new Leather Jacket at the Harley Dealership ($300).
5. Cleaned Motorcycle.
6. Saw Kynzie & Max at my parents house.
7. Went out to dinner with Kerry - Yardhouse at Legends has great food and great music.
8. Discovery of Chocolate dipped Twinkies. This could be dangerous.
9. Lawn did not need to be mowed
10. Found the Blues Brothers Soundtrack.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Things have certainly changed on Saturday mornings from when I was a kid. Growing up nothing could beat Saturday morning cartoons a bowl of cereal and a 19 inch TV. I think about this every time my daughter asks me to turn cartoons on and it is a weekday night or to put a DVD in with her favorite Disney movie. It also amuses me that she thinks our 32 inch TV is the small TV and begs to watch her shows on the "Movie Theater" TV. Anyways it just seems that Saturday Mornings cartoons have lost there luster but I can't help but remember these classics.

TOP TEN CARTOONS WHEN I WAS A KID
1. GI JOE
2. Transformers
3. Super Friends
4. Bug Bunny/Road Runner Show
5. Richie Rich
6. Fat Albert
7. Tom & Jerry
8. Pink Pather - Shark & Catfish
9. Laugh Olympics
10. Woody Woodpecker

Mystery of the Orange cookie

Why is it that at every buffet from Vegas to KC you can find orange cookies? These do not exist at Bakeries, Delis, Grocery Stores etc... yet every buffet you go to has freshly baked orange cookies.

Dave Chappelle makes you think

Indians.

Dave Chappelle may be one of the greatest minds of our time. For the past 6 months I have been trying to find more than 2 Indians(sitting bull not Ghandi) together in a non casino or reservation environment. On Tuesday I saw 3 homeless Indians digging through the trash behind Jeffersons and my mission was acomplished. But in 34 years I had never seen such a thing.

So how many have you seen together at once and where?

Fast Food joints that we don't have.

This city is littered with McDonalds, Taco Bells, Sonics etc.. but we are missing the cornerstones of healthy nutrition.

1. White Castle
2. Whataburger
3. Taco Tico
4. Braums
5. Jack N The Box
6. Del Taco

In good news the addition of Taco John's and Taco Bueno have finally ended Taco Bells dominance in this city.