Yesterday was my daughters 6th birthday and it is hard to believe that she hasn't always been in my life and for a moment I thought she wasn't going to be. When she was born we had a bit of a scare. After she got weighted, measured and cleaned up the nurse took her into the room to be with my wife and 3 minutes later she started turning purple. They rushed her out of the room and put her on monitors and a machine to help her breathe. I felt completely helpless but had to remain calm for my wife who couldn't leave her room. I will never forget sitting by her with her little fingers gripping my pinkie wishing that I could do something. By the end of the day she was doing better and she has been as close to perfection as one can get ever since.
The thoughts of her struggling haunted me for months and years afterwards and it made it hard for me to bond with her. In the back of my head I always had the extreme high I felt when she was born followed immediately by the fear of losing her and I didn't want to feel that way again. It wasn't until the birth of my 2nd child that I was able to let my guard down and allow myself to bond with the oldest. Now we are best buddies and she is truly a daddy's girl.
