Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wife. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Today after reading this story I was saddened for married men every where. I was not aware that sex could be withheld longer than it is for us, but I guess I was wrong. Is there anywhere left that this economic disaster doesn't affect us?

Lucky for us that FOX news understands our pain. Consider this your bedroom stimulus package...I am sure that just like the economic stimulus package it will not help those of us that really need it......

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


This story is to short to post a redirect link so I hope the good people at Yahoo don't shut me down for the cut and past job.

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.

"I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper Wednesday.

The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.

(Writing by Chris Borowski, Editing by Matthew Jones)

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


By ERIC ADLERThe Kansas City Star
Charlene Darnell would love to see her family living in a pristine home.“A big showcase house,” the cheery 43-year-old nurse said, “with room to display stuff.”But Darnell knows the truth.She says she is a “clutter-aholic,” a packrat of such magnitude that even the suggestion of tossing away anything brings on a near panic attack.“It’s almost like it hurts,” she says.


Friday, September 21, 2007


Yesterday I suggested to my wife that it might be a good idea to make reservations for Saturday night so that we could ensure ourselves a spot at the Bristol. She hunted down the phone number on the giftcard and told me that she was going to give them a call, so I hung up.

Tonight she informed me that she forgot to make the reservations. I said that I thought she did that right after I hung up the phone with her, she said that "That is just how my brain works".

I have no idea what that means and I am pretty sure that I don't want to find out.

Notes From This Week

1. Gas Station Car Wash's should just disconnect the dryers. THEY DO NOT WORK.

2. My 10 year streak of not hitting an animal while driving came to and end this morning. At aprox 10:43am I ran over a squirrel in downtown KCK. I have found comfort in the fact that I might of actually done him/her a favor due to its place of residence.

3. Normally I don't like sweets but I discovered Ben & Jerry's Peach Cobbler ice cream this week. I am on carton #2.

4. Manny's Mexican joint on SW Blvd is over rated. Do not believe the hype.

5. You never see Chinese people working at BBQ joints. This topic was covered extensively in my office this week. There is a $50 prize if anyone can bring back photographic proof of this.

6. Midgets can be homeless too. I met "Stan" this morning outside the Federal Reserve Building downtown. He had a cardboard sign asking for money, not will work for money, just money. Two things ran through my head. 1. I had never seen a homeless midget. 2. People in SUV's will never see that guys sign.

7. The Wal Mart in Topeka might posses the scariest collection of white people on earth.

8. My wife can make an incredible salad. The salads I make at the salad bar are inferior to the creation that she brought home last night.

9. My youngest daughter is a freaking comedian. Every thing she does is an attempt by her to be funny, and it works.

10. My oldest daughter might be a little bit spoiled. My wife on the other hand is spoiled.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Saturday, September 08, 2007

435 loop Day Trip

Today we set out to the Blue Springs BBQ Contest/Bike Show. It was hard to choose between that and the Harley Open House but I couldn't resist BBQ. Having been to Blue Springs only once I printed out a map and directions and handed it to my copilot (Kerry). Things were going smooth until we hit what I later learned was Scrapbookers row. Instead of telling me to turn on little blue parkway she was too busy pointing out a bankrupt scrapbooking store. We continued down 40 highway until she realized that we might of gone to far. After making a U Turn at Adams Dairy Parkway (nowhere near our turn) we were finally back on track. That is until she later tells me that she skipped a step in the directions and we had to backtrack once again. My wife was dead set on getting us lost. The way she read these directions can only be compared to the way she follows a Lasagna recipe.

The BBQ contest was pretty good with a lot of samples but the bike show had a lot to be desired. Other than the customs that were there the others were nowhere near show quality. A few of them I even recognized from Craigslist. So after eating some jacked up Funnel Cakes (how do you do that?) we decided to head home.

Once we got in the car we decided to head to the HD factory due to the lack of motorcycles seen at the BBQ contest. We headed North on 435 towards the airport which ended up being the long way. We arrived just as they were wrapping up for the day but there were still some exhibits open and a couple hundred motorcycles to look at so it was worth it, at least to me.

The next decision to be made was if we were going to Old Settlers days in Olathe or yet another Bike event in Platte City (10 minutes from the factory). Becca wanted to ride some rides so we headed South on 435. The copilot once again brought her A game and asked why I was taking the long way and I took her word for it and exited hoping to cut across to what she thought was the "right way". So Highway D ended up taking us to Highway N (both paved) and then back to 435 south. Along the way though we saw orchards and vineyards so it wasn't a complete waste of gas, however my Copilot lost all credibility at this point. The rout I had originally taken was in fact the quicker way home.

After a brief pit stop we headed to Old Settlers days in Olathe. This was the most miserable experience I have had in a long time. We walked up and down rows of Crap booths filled with trinkets the Indians wouldn't of accepted in exchange for Manhattan. Along the way Becca decided to take it upon herself to remind us that she wanted to ride rides, every 2 minutes.

After eating Corndogs and Tacos we headed over to Carniland to ride the rides. Usually when you go to these types of events it is easy to tell the difference between the carnis and the patrons, not today. Never before had I seen more inbreed hill folk in my life. The only thing dirtier than the people in this part of Old Settlers was the garbage on the street. After letting the kids ride some rides we unloaded the rest of our ride tickets on another family and left.

In the course of the day Becca and Bridget were silent for 2o minutes total. It was like having your own play by play crew with you analyzing every move, every word and every action taken. I could swear that Becca drank one of my energy drinks this morning. All in all though it was a good day. I better stop now before I type something that would get me in trouble.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Great Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Got all of my errands done in a quick manner.
2. Kick off of College Football. This will be the first season of football with my new TV
3. KU won, K State lost. Only thing missing from this is an MU loss.
4. Won new Leather Jacket at the Harley Dealership ($300).
5. Cleaned Motorcycle.
6. Saw Kynzie & Max at my parents house.
7. Went out to dinner with Kerry - Yardhouse at Legends has great food and great music.
8. Discovery of Chocolate dipped Twinkies. This could be dangerous.
9. Lawn did not need to be mowed
10. Found the Blues Brothers Soundtrack.

Thursday, August 23, 2007


This question seemed to be the only conversation that my wife and I would have every night when I came home. It would then be followed up with the following roll call of choices. McDonalds, Burger King, Winsteads, Wendys, Applebees curbside and Taco Bell. So for the past 11 years I have had a hamburger every weeknight for dinner. My wife has some challenges in the Kitchen (she once had to call someone to figure out how to make instant rice) and I knew this going into the deal but assumed that with a little practice that she might actually get a little better.

Another problem that we have is that I like my food to have flavor while my wife likes bland foods. She will not eat a cut up vegetables. If we go out to dinner you can look down at her plate and see a pile of ingredients sitting on her plate that she has expertly picked out of the food. I don't even notice this act anymore it is a rapid fluid motion a lot like a hummingbird feeding and can only be seen in slow motion.

All of this changed about a month ago when I came home and smelt actual food cooking inside our kitchen. At first I thought my kids had fired up there easy bake oven but it wasn't, there was an actual meal being prepared in my kitchen. I was excited but in the back of my head the Lasagna incident of 1996 cautioned me. At this point I didn't care what it was as long as I didn't have to hear the question "what is for dinner?" and eat another fast food hamburger. Dinner was served and on my plate was a Jambalaya with sausage and cut up vegetables. It was incredible. So for the last month I have enjoyed a nice variety of meals cooked in my kitchen by my wife and I would like to take this time to thank the very special person that made this possible.


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

No Brain Games





Tuesday, August 21, 2007

8 Simple Signs your wife scrapbooks.

  1. Your wife says she is going to a crop and you expect her to come home with vegetables
  2. You ask where the glue is and she looks at you with a blank stare until you say adhesive.
  3. Your wife has been accused of scraplifting and you ask her when her court date is.
  4. You are excited when your wife tells you that she is swapping with her friends. Only to find out later that it means something completely different than you thought.
  5. You get excited when your wife tells you that she got a job doing something she likes only to find out later that she makes less than illegal aliens.
  6. Your wife plans family events because she wants to make a scrapbook page about it.
  7. Scrap Area is clean and organized, rest of the house not so much.
  8. 40% off coupons in the paper on Sunday mean 40% more spending.