Sunday, May 04, 2008


1. Who the hell watches the Kentucky derby? This is the only uninteresting sport involving midgets there is in the world. The fact that they call them Jockeys instead of midgets baffles me as well.

2. How many burglars case out neighborhood garage sales? These guys get to case out every house in the neighborhood with no questions asked, bad idea.

3. Delusions of Grandeur - Han Solo said it best.

4. Credibility - Those without any are always the first to advise (unsolicited). See also Glasshouses.

5. Replacements & Stand Ins - Can not be trusted.

6. I would much rather get 17 MPG than drive a Geo metro powered by a 9volt battery.

7. Ignorance Island - The population there keeps increasing.

8. How does some place have the best Tacos? The ingredients are all basically the same. Every time this debate comes up the person I am arguing with brings up the salsa. Doesn't that just mean they have the best Salsa?

9. Kansas City Hip Hop = Italian food in Alaska

10. Those that bitch about their situation in life rarely are brave enough to do anything about it and usually end up making it worst by rationalizing their decisions (or lack there of).

11. I have no idea how to cut up a watermelon without butchering it.

12. Thank god you can buy precut watermelon.

13. There is no such thing as making "enough" money.

14. Why couldn't my neighbors trampoline of been destroyed in the storm?

15. Did Katie Horner purposely use blood red on her weather map last week? Wouldn't surprise me.

16. When are they going to rebroadcast the episode of The Office from last week? And why does a channel with another station for weather have to interrupt our TV Viewing? Can't they run a banner along the bottom of the screen saying TUNE INTO CHANNEL 1345?

17. On St. Patrick's Day people always claim to be part Irish. On May 5th do people claim to be Mexican?

18. I hate it when I order a Diet Coke at a restaurant and they ask me if Diet Pepsi is ok. If I wanted Pepsi, wouldn't I of ordered Pepsi? If I order steak are you going to bring me chicken?

19. I have become even more leery of charities that tell you to send in money instead of goods and services. I heard the spokesperson for the local Salvation Army office telling people that all they needed was money. Aren't these groups the same ass clowns that were full of scandal during Katrina fund raising? I trust them almost as much as I trust Ice Cream Truck Dude.

20. Today I was told that I wasn't religious but spiritual by a local religious leader. I have no clue what that means.

21. Right after I was told that I was hit up for a donation.