The 10 top stories in America that you (the uninformed masses) need to know about.
1. "Homo sapiens are a pretty easy meal"...Vampire bats kill 38 in Venezuela. How did they miss Hugo's fat ass?
2. "Mr. Scott, engage cloaking device"....Finally a safe way to drive through the East Side.
3. Homer Simpson is more capable than most European leaders which is why he is on the Euro.
4. So can we now go back to calling Russia the Soviet Union? Putin is the new Stalin. At least the women got better looking during their 20 years of freedom.
5. Got Aids? Come on in, America welcomes you.
6. First the killed Kenny and now Chef is dead.
7. Being hacked to death by machetes while on vacation might not be the most peaceful way to die.
8. Media shows bias with John Edwards affair.
9. Next time you want to go to a strip club just tell her you are going to the gym.
10. Parents can't say no to cell phones for young kids.
