These are the best stories on the internet today (so far). Any other stories that you have read up to this point suck. You should be ashamed of yourself for wasting your time reading them and trying to understand them without my help.
1. The KCMO school board takes 1.4 million dollars away from students because of their stupidity.
2. The worlds biggest badminton fan is dead.
3. Good news for Reality TV fans. If things keep up down in Mexico we could soon be watching a civil war. There hasn't been anything good on TV since we destroyed Iraq.
4. News isn't broke. What's broke is old media and the sooner these idiots get with the program the sooner we can stop hearing them cry.
5. The driving force in modern technology is taking 6 months off due to health.
6. Anytime there are monkeys on the loose throwing feces they make the headlines.
7. Reason for death "falling of deck in cold weather". That's a crappy way to go.
8. Hitler saved in Jersey
9. Some people are jealous of attractive women. These people are often other women.
10. I just feel so bad that this oil sheik doesn't get to finish his building.
