GUEST POSTER-DEM NUTS - TOM. S.

Here is this weeks installment from Tom. We are lucky to have Tom and his insight into weekly topics facing conservatives on a daily basis. Tom goes to great lengths every week to ensure that he delivers a great post and this week is no exception.
Enjoy,
JOCOSOB
(Highly Condensed) Dem Nuts Weekly Analysis (No. 2, Pub. May 1)
International crap: N. Korea commies re-opening nuclear weapons-grade facility. Swine flu panic goes pandemic. US pork flu panic continues to infect politicians requiring us to pay for treatment until cure for congressional pigism is finally discovered. Egypt subjects 330k hogs to capital execution. Britain withdraws all troops from Iraq. Ignored rest of world crap to save blog space making crime fighter Dr. JOCOSOB happier. Condensing to 1082 word essay impairs snarkiness score; while plummeting readability score to 10th grade level. Something has to go next week.

Domestic Crap: Sat. IMF meeting in DC; hundreds of patriots beaten with batons and pepper spray. Sun. National domestic blog mod take-nap day. Mon. Lots of crap day: a) Congressional swine flu caused by Pelosi Virus HR1 goes panicky; while viral HR2 Reid confirms suspicions of Barry’s delusional megalomania stating “I have a gift, Harry” and b) Barry rhetoric regarding regulating credit card industry is political fluff making me want to ROFLMAO because way too many DC politicians greased regularly by financial PACS; and c) Scare Force One NYC photo op disaster; and d) Gov. Motors proposes to swindle taxpayers 225 sh. for each $1k for our secured loan of 15.4 billion in conspiracy with Treasury Tim. Bad deal usurping Congress will merely allow GM to inflate their balance sheet until default and bankruptcy leave us with $0 billion.

Tues., PA Sen. RINO, 79 yr. Benedict Arnold Specter finally flips ensuring GOP win in 2010. Wed. Revised GPD 6.1% drop confirms Happy Depression Day. To which government, stock mkt. and media ignore; same day of the 100 day mark of Abomination. Congress approves 3.4 trillion historic fed. budget with anticipated record 1.2 trillion deficit. Fed. Res. leaves int. rates at 0% flooding $ hoping to make businesses and consumers spend $ instead of hoarding cash messing up Abomination Plan. Barry’s 100-day speech highlights was a promise of ending no-bid contracts and stating that immigration reform battle will be sometime this year; while ignoring past corrosion of American character on torture. Thur. Joe “the gaffer” Biden recommends to avoid flying/subways and enclosed structures. Fri. S.Ct liberal Souter retires in June which will make Barry’s 1st and hopefully only pick interesting over the summer.

Stock market crap: 50 cent k plans have improved since March 6 to 100 cent k plans. Expect correction soon back to 50 cent k level again as realization we are in a depression starts hitting the reality fan. Appears further delays in May 4 bank stress stuff. Too big to fail banks cannot continue hiding worthless assets on their balance sheets forever. Ken Lewis is BAC history. Chrysler goes Ch. 11.

State Crap: Sat., KS health officials issue holy crap alert confirming two cases of swine flu. Naturally, all were already aware of Congressional Swine Flu hitting KS porkers. (Pelosi Virus HR1). Sun., posts related to a debate on a watered down, pro-friendly unlawful, pro-business immigration bill makes news. KS SB 428 will ensure KS becomes an even bigger refuge state for unlawful immigrants explaining why KS would be a lot better without Sen. John Vratil. Tues., DINO GOV Parkinson’s first speech stating “refreshing time of astonishing renewal” is as bad as a press release by “I want to be KS GOV” Dem Nut Sen. Steineger’s incredible statement ending with “I believe in winning the BBQ!” Both of which indicate Tues. was full moon crashing to earth day, again.

Wed. Horrible HHS appointment of Kate (I refuse to give my real Catholic middle name) Sebelius is finally gone solving many of KS’s problems. Making me ahs happy as the Wizard of Oz. So, Be Happy. Don’t Worry (until Kate does anything official as HHS Sec.). KS Majority Lead O’Neal refuses to schedule joint session with new GOV Parkinson until Thurs. Thurs. New KS GOV Speech. Kate gone, so KS legislature expected to soon override “I love abortion” and “hate energy” vetoes. Fri., Possible state employee pay cuts of 5% instead of 1 day/mo furlough.

Local Crap: I overcame my evil lawn mower Diablo. Son in horrible TX completed his first 42 mile bike rally; while I finished a sloth jog marathon to restroom in record time. Disguised DHS brown shirt came by Mon. pretending to be a US Census worker. (BS here after). BS wanted to confirm the number of my house; despite giant house numbers and things called street signs. A clear DHS rouse demonstrates why POTUS should not be in charge of Census. So, fair warning alert-suspected BS will be around alleging to work for the Census to determine if you are a domestic terrorist.

Made huge 9 cent gain selling DOW making me want to squeal like a capitalist pig. Helped Barry create .00017 jobs by spending $12 on Pelosi HR1 swine flu bbq special. Campaign focused on earmarks solution for 2010. Considered selling political soul to get every Kansan a gazillion bacon dollars. JOCO Tax Appraiser fascists sent notice stating my evidence in an informal non-evidentiary teleconference hearing was not sufficient-new JOCO scheme. Onward to BOTA friends for our annual funfest where I ask for evidence I was never asked for, or given the opportunity to submit. JOCO Sun Editor Chris Rogers is refusing to communicate with me.

Finally, delaying a wrap up on PorkBall series/awarding Golden PorkBall award. Basically, different stuff due to Happy Depression starting this week. Will probably be Republic troll mod again at open forum weekend @ http://kansasjackass.blogspot.com just to annoy dem nut demiwants. New word to add to your political lexicon: If a person that twitters is a twitwit; then by extension, a person that blogs would have to be called a blogwit. That is the final word. On to the top links of the week.

Top Links of the Week worth analyzing: The 100 day-100 mistakes of Barry’s Abomination administration by priority is available at http://www.nypost.com/php/pfriendly/print.php?url=http://www.nypost.com/seven/04252009/postopinion/opedcolumnists/100_days__100_mistakes_166. Can anyone think of 100 good things by priority Barry has done? Hopefully, all domestic terrorists mailed their certificate to Janet “I deserve to be fired” DHS Sec. from last week’s top link @ http://www.reason.com/terroristquiz/. Top invasion of privacy link for demiwant dl photos is @ http://www.license.shorturl.com. Best blog ever remains New Style Kansas Politics @ http://independentkspolitics.blogspot.com. 2nd place, JOCOSOB.

Copyright Legal Mumbo Jumb
o. None. Go ahead and steal it. Merely pretend you are a Crook of Congress, Sec. of HHS, Fire Treasury Tim or DHS Sec. “you are all domestic terrorists including sneaky Canadians” Janet.

1 comment:

  1. What the hell is Sebelius' middle name? I found it ironic that her maiden name is Gilligan.

    ReplyDelete