Tuesday, December 23, 2008
SCROOGE LINKS
Just to remind you that Scrooge is more than a movie. I pulled these headlines to the side to remind you that while most of us are celebrating this week in our comfortable JOCO homes, there are those out there not as fortunate as us. There are also people out there that want to ruin our way of life and will not rest until we are as miserable as them.
1. 13 year old kid that was tied to a tree and tortured for 18 hours back in June couldn't make it to Christmas.
2. Road Rage in Dallas kills 2 people. Tis da season.
3. Remember the Boston Tea Party? Good, cus we may need to drop some tea in a harbor again if these bastards get their way.
4. Don't these people know that the only acceptable time to steal is in a time of crisis. Looting is much cooler than shoplifting.
5. Gang raping lesbians isn't included in the 12 days of Christmas is it? On a side note she was raped which should be punishable by death, so I don't understand why they had to include the fact that she was a lesbian in the story.
6. The people of Venezuela are being denied one of the finest dining venues ever conceived (THE FOOD COURT) by their dictator.
7. Iowa man guilty of selling Teen Girls off for Christmas.
8. Milkman turns Dopeman. Nothing says Merry Christmas more than buying your Grandma a dime bag.
9. Your Christmas Hot Chocolate may kill you, seriously.
10. Your Wii could kill you, not so seriously.
Monday, December 22, 2008
COLD WEATHER IS DEVESTATING KCMO
ANYONE ELSE SICK OF THIS GLOBAL WARMING CRAP?
THE BLOGGER REACH AROUND
Sunday, December 21, 2008
THE WIRE - WEEKEND KETCHUP
I wonder how the cold weather effected the hardworking killers, dealers, bangers and whores of the Metro area.
1. Mental Case loose in KCK. Talk about finding a needle in a haystack............
2. Metro residents living in rural areas are no longer safe from the criminals ways of KCMO.
3. The odds of actually running across a taxi while in the metro are slim to none. That is what makes the story of this recent KCK shooting victim all that much more incredible.
4. Who hasn't killed someone this way??????????????
5. Lee's Summit is slowly turning into a KCMO anex. Yet another shooting in the burbs.
6. Talk about using your resources. This is a great story about a local prison escape.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
QUICK HITS
If you read these stories you will have something to talk about today. So be interesting today instead of your usual dry, boring, ignorant self.
1. It is a good day in America when Union workers have to go without work for a month. Merry Christmas UAW from Chrysler.
2. Is the eating of cats really the biggest "RIGHTS" problem the people of China are facing?
3. Is anyone going to shed a tear over an MSNBC reporter getting mugged?
4. SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!! not really. Obama Stimulus package is going to be full of pork. I thought Muslims hated pork?
5. Can you really trust the Church nowadays?????????????????
6. How do I get one of these bags?
7. I didn't think that the G Spot was such a controversial subject?
8. KCMO IS FIGHTING CRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, they are instead focusing in on invading your privacy and preventing red light running.
9. Wal Mart removes Pro Islamic doll from shelves.
10. OOPS!
PUBLIC SCHOOLS THEN VS NOW
Public School -- 1957 vs. 2008
Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2008 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2008 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.
Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2008 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.
Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2008 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.
Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2008 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2008 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2008- ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2008 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy .
ARE YOU GOING TO DIE?
WAY TO GO ROGER
It seems like anyone and everything associated with Roger Clemens his year has turned to crap. Now it turn out that Mindy McCready has attempted to kill herself due to it being leaked that Roger cheated on his wife with her when she was 16 years old.