THINGS THAT ANNOY ME - CHRISTMAS EDITION

This is the revised version of last years list.

1. Seeing 8 checkout lanes void from a cashier while you wait in a line 10 deep. What makes this even better is when you see 5 or 6 employees of the store standing around customer service chatting. You have two things to do. Scan items, collect money. that is all there is to it and you CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!

2. The jackass that follows you to your car in order to take your spot when you leave. This happened to me last week and I simply started my car, turned it back off and walked back into the store. The look on the guys face was priceless.

3. Special Buys. What a scam this is. In the fine print of the ad you will see the words limited quantity or only 7 per store. They do this to lure you into their store and switch you onto a more expensive product.

4. Blue Christmas lights. Why even bother? These are the ugliest lights on the planet (icicles from the gutters are a close 2nd). I have never met anyone that likes seeing those hideous things.

5. Drooping Christmas lights. If you are going to go to the effort of hanging them up make them straight. Nothing says WT more than drooping lights.

6. $10 gift cards. Really, what the hell are you suppose to purchase for $10, batteries. There is nothing wrong with a gift that costs $10 it shows that you put some thought and effort into it, This says that I didn't want to spend anytime shopping for you at all.

7. Holiday office parties - Nothing says Christmas like getting together with people that you see 50 hours a week, every week for a Dinner. Really, do we need to see these people after hours as well just because it is Christmas? Nobody I have asked this year likes these things yet they occur every damn year.

8. Traffic - This really needs no explanation.

9. People wishing me a happy holiday. Just say MERRY CHRISTMAS! Why the hell do we have to use code to speak of a holiday? Do I really need to have a Navajo Indian with me in order to speak at Christmas Time.

10. The Mayors Christmas Tree - This has become a joke. This guy is terrible at amaking choices. Two examples, his wife and the Christmas Tree.

11. Stores that advertise the Mail in Rebate price as opposed to the actual price. Anyone that has ever gone through the mail in rebate process understands that it is a hoax. Why do you have to wait 6 months to get $40? Microcenter is notorious for this.

12. Live Nativity Scenes. Does acting out a scene of the bible make you more religious than the next guy? If I wanted to see homeless people I would cross the state line.

13. Lazy Bell Ringers - I know that your job sucks but you could at least put some effort into it. You are competing for my change with the next charity, act like you want my quarter.

14. Crappy Holiday shows - Network execs think that we will watch anything that has Christmas in it. They will take C level sitcom stars from the 80's and put them on a set with snow, presents, a Christmas tree and some struggle and expect us to watch it. Christmas shows that were on TV USE TO BE GOOD. WTF HAPPENED.

15. Atheist - Don't ruin our holiday just because you are going to hell. Also, don't protest our holiday and except a gift from us you damn heathens.

16. Pop Star Christmas music

17. Christmas Clothing - This is some of the ugliest crap I have ever seen.

18. People that attend the Plaza Lighting ceremony - I guess I am missing it here, do the lights look different on Thanksgiving than they do on December 14th?

19. People that say that Christmas lights are bad for the environment.

20. Drawing names for gifts - This is a scam to ensure that unpopular and mean people get gifts at the office etc....

21. Stories on the homeless - Christmas seems to remind the media that they need to run specials on the homeless. It seems that the only day of the year they really need us is December 25th.

22. The exploitation of Snowmen and Reindeer on TV. Do we really need 5 frosty sequels and 3 Rudolph sequels?

More to come I am sure.................

THE CRYING GAME

"We're in the championship game. Not Kansas, not Kansas State, not Baylor, no one else we're in the championship game."

THE WIRE - WEEKEND KETCHUP

As Jocoians we need to be thankful that we don't live in these hell holes. While we were busy eating turkey and hanging up Christmas lights the rest of the Metro was busy going East Side.

1. Have you ever read a story in which the street Van Brunt was involved in Crime? Shooting at 7th and crap.
2. This is the second time that this store has made THE WIRE. Hispanic on Hispanic crime is rampant in Olathe.
3. KCK Police Standoff sparks the beginning of the Holiday Season.

4. My mother use to tell me that nothing good happens after midnight....In KCMO the same can be said for 5:30. This poor bastard was gunned down at 2am. Season Greetings.
5. STL carjackers give themselves the death penalty.

6. Barbershop 3. Burn them bitches down.

SONG OF THE YEAR 2008 - HIP HOP

HANDS DOWN.

HIP HOP FLASH BACK

Saw him in concert out in Cali shortly after this album dropped.

WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR

This list could be a long one but nobody wants to read that crap. Instead I have simplified it all to the one constant in my life that has made what I have now possible, my wife.

My wife saved me. I was not exactly a good person when I came back from the Marine Corp. I was pissed, short tempered, violent and bored and felt like I had no future. I ran with a crowd that no longer exists. Most of them are now statistics that I am sure were chronicled on some other jackass's blog. I had my own brushes with death and never learned, no matter how much my parents tried I never listened to them. I had no desire to be the person that they raised me to be or the person that I was capable of being.

Then I met my wife. It may sound corny to say that she made me want to be a better person but she did. She for some reason saw the good in me but wouldn't have a real relationship with me until I changed my ways. She said this to me without uttering a single word other than NO.

This was all 14 years ago and I can honestly say that she has given me all of my reasons to be thankful. My wonderful daughters, my great job, our wonderful house, my relationship with my family are all from her.

Thank you honey, I love you.

QUICK HITS - THANKSGIVING EDIITION

TOP 10 STORIES THAT JOCOIANS NEED TO READ BETWEEN NAPS TODAY.

1. KCK residents can look forward to paying more for their utilities thanks to the crooks at the EPA.

2. Since JOCO is a safe wholesome community the police officers are free to get hammered on the job.

3. This is the Kansas Citian of the year???????? Give me a break! I am sick of rich people rewarding each other for sitting on boards. Who the hell in this city has heard of this chick before now? This award should go out to all Kansas Citians that work multiple jobs in order to provide for their families. Citizens that while having very little still find the time and resources to help others. Not some chick who happened to shake the right hands at the right parties this year.

4. The only thing worst than the last name is the woman. I now understand why Funkhouser is so tall. He has to grow to make room for his wifes hand that is lodged up his ass. If you have ever shaken the hand of this woman be sure to wash them right away.

5. Couple gets busted for having sex in handicapped stall at football game.

6. Isn't it good to know that we are spending billions of dollars on researching water sources in outer space while millions in Africa can't find a drop to drink on our planet?

7. Old person dies in Indiana. I guess that this is news to someone......

8. Missouri man nearly takes off the head of his daughter with electric saw.

9. G&R give us free Dr. Pepper.

10. People that follow celebrity relationships typically have no lives. There lack of lives force us to skim through the crappy headlines that they consider news in order to find real stories. On that note does anyone give a crap about an old woman and a baseball players relationship?