QUICK HITS

10 stories worth reading in the news today.

1. Pakistan refuses to release terrorist to India. I am sure that Obama will fix this.

2. Straight people that are sick MIGHT want to rethink calling in sick tomorrow.

3. Stripper tries to keep job in the family by utilizing her 16 year old daughter. I am surprised that this story didn't take place in Raytown.

4. Military jet crashes in San Diego.

5. LA cracks down on street gangs. Yeah, that will work............

6. High School kids in NYC get their ass's kicked by security guards at school for using cell phones.

7. Governors official stance. "Once you go black, you don't go back"

8. Jerry Jones attacks Marion Barber, classless.

9. Women more likely to die from heart attacks then men. What the story fails to mention is that women are the leading cause of heart attacks FOR MEN.

10. Attention Wal Mart Shoppers - You can now by I Phones in the electronics department. Isn't an I phone a little bit too classy for Wal Mart?

THE WIRE - KETCHUP

East side residents can take comfort in the fact that red is at least a Christmas color. Once the snow comes neighborhoods through out the East Side will be able to display their blood red snow displays.

1. Hanging out at 4am in front of a school typically wont get you shot in JOCO, but in North East KCMO you can almost count on it.

2. KCMO woman (with a great name) admits to torching house with kid inside.

3. Don't sleep on KCK. TWO SHOT, one dead and a partridge in a pear tree.
4. Robbing a laundromat? The payoff sucks. Way to use your brains KCMO residents.

5. KCMO man shot two different time on the same night. What a town!

LEARY TUESDAYS

AUTO BAILOUT

Are they going to offer relief to the car buyers that bought crappy American cars the same way they were going to offer relief to people that singed up for crappy loans?

HIP HOP FLASHBACK

THE KCMO CHRISTMAS CD

Coming soon to a JOCO retailer near you a new Christmas Classic brought to you by SOB Productions.

A VERY MERRY KCMO CHRISTMAS

1. The 12 months of Funkhouser

2. How the Squit stole Christmas

3. All I want for Christmas is my GED

4. Little Gunner Boy

5. I saw mommy getting pimped by Santa

6. Frosty the Dope Man

7. Rudolph the Red Nosed Drunk

8. The NAACP ain't coming to town

9. I'll be home for Chirstmas ( in 10-20 years)

10. Silver Glocks

11. White City Hall - A Squitiro Solo

12. KCMO got run over by Cordish Group

13. Have yourself an unaccredited education

14. Rocking around a stolen Christmas Tree

15. The night before depositions

16. Hark the Narc and let bullets ring

17. Santa Clause got stabbed walking through town.

18. Wheres the blow, wheres the blow, wheres the blow

JOCO BOOZIN MOMS

First of all let me state that I am not sure if this woman is a native of JOCO or a transplant. The 79th street area is part of NOJOCO so anyhthing is possible. BUT just because you live in wannabe JOCO that is no excuse to drink and drive your kids to school and tarnish the good name of our county. Take a cue from the women of SOJOCO and deal with your depression by trying to act like you are still in a sorority, live through your kids, get a boob job, nail some guy you met at Nick & Jakes, get 5000 friends on facebook or my personal favorite sell Pampered Chef products.

This woman should be forced to move into the DMZ part of JOCO, Roeland Park.