JOCO SOB

Friday, October 30, 2009

TOP TEN SIGNS ITS FALL IN JOCO - REPOST

1. Influx of KCK/KCMO school kids working day shifts at retail establishments due to JOCO kids leaving their summer jobs for college.

2. Festivals - The towns of JOCO love to put on a festival to show off to our neighbors to the North and East that we (unlike them) are capable of having more than 20 people in a street event without gunfire.

3. Christmas Items in Stores - I was at Target the other day and they had just as much Christmas stuff up as they did Halloween.

4. Trick or Treating - Every year bus loads (not kidding) of inner city youth get dropped off in our neighborhoods to ask for Candy. Sure we here in JOCO have some houses with great halloween decorations but aren't their neighborhoods truly scary. The only Halloween decoration I plan on putting up is a street sign in front of my house that says 40th and Prospect.

5. School Fund Raisers - This is the biggest shakedown in US history. Not only do we pay taxes for public schools, enrollment fees, activity fees etc.. but now we get to buy over priced candy bars and crappy giftwrap to support the schools. Hell even the Mafia only collected once.

6. Teenagers driving at rush hour - Do I really need to expand on Biff & Amber driving their new Lexus at 100mph through school zones while eating or putting on makeup?

7. Lawn Care Wars - This is the time of season in which the competition picks up between neighbors and their lawns. From leaf pick up to fertilization, this is where the rubber meets the road. Those who have neglected their lawns all spring and summer will be dubbed trash by the rest of the neighborhood.

8. Charity Drives - This is the time of year in which the calls start coming into JOCO residents to help save KCMO. Every year the fine upstanding residents reach into their pockets and donate Hundreds of thousands of dollars to feed and clothe those living in the East side. We do this despite their hatred for us and ask for nothing in return (except for a tax write off).

9. Election signs - Oh yes my favorite. Each fall we get to see the wonderful display of election signs in yards and on the corners of busy intersections. I always find it a great way to find out who the commies are in the neighborhood.

10. Layoffs at Sprint are on the Horizon. Sure this can be said about every season but the fall layoffs always seem to be the biggest and best hidden.

QUICK HITS - BE AFRAID

TOP 10 scary stories in the news today. These stories prove that you don't need to go to a haunted house or watch a scary movie this Halloween to be terrified.

1. The president of the United States is inviting terrorists to the White House.
2. Violent leftest fire shots into the house of Lou Dobbs. Is this just the start?

3. Will the Chinese take advantage of Obama's weakness and back our country into a corner?
4. Liberals are the only people in the world that could spend 160k to create a 30k job. Imagine what we could of done with that money if it was given to us in tax cuts.
5. We have become such pansies in this country that Haunted Houses are now being protested.
6. The dumbest woman on the planet just wrote a 1900 page bill that will cost us around 2 trillion dollars. BOO!
7. Muslim men LIVING in this country are killing their daughters for becoming Westernized. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EXPECT YOU DUMB ASS. YOU MOVED TO AMERICA.
8. Hollywood elitist slam 13 year old rape victim. CALLS HER A HOOKER!
9. There is a fear of money??????????????
10. Obama opens the borders to people that are HIV positive.

DEVILS NIGHT - WILL THIS YEAR BE A BUST

The past few DEVILS NIGHTS have sucked. I know that Detroit is a crap city full of slackers but the least they could do is burn the city down with some enthusiasm.

THE GREEN ZONE - TRAILER

THE WIRE - KCMO IS ITS OWN HORROR STORY

The seriel killers in KCMO run the streets every night. They don't hide behind hockey masks or only appear in your dreams. No these killers want you to know who is killing you and they kill you when you are asleep or awake.