Monday, May 18, 2009
SUMMER TIME IN SOJOCO
This will start my 2nd summer south of 119th street and I feel a little bit more prepared for it this time around. Those of you that are new to the area and in need of guidence please let me help you out here.
1. Lawn Wars - This is nothing more than a show of wealth. Those that can afford unlimited watering, underground sprinklers, illegal grounds keeping and professional landscaping always win. If you see a house in SOJOCO without any of the above mentioned then you know that they are living above their means.
2. Pool - When I was a kid my brother and I went to the pool nearly everyday that the weather allowed. My parents busted their ass's at work to ensure that this happened and we made the most of it. NOW in SOJOCO it is a sign of poverty if you go to an Overland Park Public Pool . The pools nowadays are hidden in the gated communities and are only given access to those who are worthy enough to live there.
3. 40 trying to be 20 - We have all seen the 40 year old women in SOJOCO who try to dress like they are 20 years old . While a small portion are able to pull it off the vast majority of these chicks embarrass themselves in public. Boy short and jogging bras are a privallage to wear, not a right.
4. BBQing & Grilling - These morons have the most expensive smokers and grills on the market yet have no clue how to use them. Let's get one thing straight right now. IF YOU USE A GAS GRILL YOU ARE NOT BBQING YOU ARE COOKING. Ribs, chicken, sausuage, brisket and pulled pork require smoke not gas. If you want to call it grilling, fine. Just stop embarrassing our hood.
5. Lack of parental supervision for kids - The crap that these kids get away with is amazing. It is almost as if they have no rules and the parents are scared to punish their kids. Summertime is the worst because of all the free time that these monsters have.
6. Frozen Custard - Ice Cream isn't good enough for the people of SOJOCO. The mere thought of going to a DQ or Baskin Robins is enough to get you kicked out of your cul de sac. Enter Frozen Custard. This overly priced expensive crap is the only frozen dessert allowed in the land o gates.
7. Golf Guy - $2000 worth of clubs and $20 worth of lessons. Priceless.
8. Scooter riders - Would someone please tell these jackass's that they arent cool. These are the prefered method of transportation for EMO kids and Dorky old people trying to be green.
9. The Lake - I have mentioned this one before, WHICH LAKE! Not everyone likes to swim in a lake full of urine, used condoms and beer cans so we avoid Lake of the Ozarks. By saying "The Lake" you remind me of the Roxberry movie where the two douchebags always said "The Club".
10. Cyclist - Nuf said.