Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts

Monday, May 18, 2015

10 signs that summer is hitting JOCO

You can always tell in South JOCO when summer is approaching and the school year is coming to an end. Those of you residing in the poverty stricken areas surrounding us have no idea what stress there

is on us to provide a suitable Blue Valley summer for our kids and the preparation involved to do so.

1.  Trophy wives all turn what I like to call "Leawood brown". 
2.  The term "the lake" is used in every other sentence along with "what mile marker is your house at". You see to live out here everyone automatically believes that "the lake" means Lake of the Ozarks and nobody can comprehend not owning a lake house.
3.  $1200 grills are flying off the shelves that will only be used once.
4.  The horrified look that other parents give you when the hear that you go to a public pool and that your subdivision doesn't have one.
5.  30k motorcycle rode by a douche in shorts, flip flops and his hat backwards.
6.  Vacation bible school-  in JOCO it rarely involves the bible, never is school like and is strictly a way to have your family decide what religion they are by who is offering the best trip.
7.  Mothers start wearing the same clothing that their teenage daughters shouldn't wear.
8.  Garage sales offering layaway
9.  Lawn crews gathering at Quick Trip making it not such a quick trip
10.  The phrase "and that is why we don't go down there anymore" when discussing The Plaza.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Almost Daily Link Blast

Most conservatives wouldn't dare reveal that they read anything other than Fox News and Drudge.  Then again most conservatives are uptight pricks.  ENJOY!

1.  The 5 second rule is a bunch of crap.  Go ahead and eat your infected food if you don't believe me.
2.  Life could be worst.  18 horrifying dystopias that make living in East KCMO look pleasant
3.  How in the hell was this Bugs Bunny looking kid the bully in this situation?  WOW.
4.  This guy had a general store shoved up his rectum before he went to prison.
5.  10 Civilizations that Obama would like to turn America into
6.  Stand By Me was one of the greatest movies of my generation.  Where are they now?
7.  Ninja vs. Pirate - Who is better?
8.  This is a list the Frank Martin will certainly be in soon.  9 Sports Meltdowns.
9.  7 things to do after a one night stand.
10.  Girls of the NCAA tournament.
11.  Tigers Ex has a new home.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Weekend Link Blast

We search over 1000 rss feeds to find you the best of the internet.  YOUR WELCOME

1.  Vanessa Hudgens is making a play for a Top 10 Ranking with us.
2.  If you thought that regular internet dating sites were bad, here are 10 Dating Sites that will blow your mind.
3.  The answer to "what is grosser than gross?" is finally solved.  GROSS
4.  Drawings of what Space Colonies could of looked like according to photos from the 70's.
5.  What are the 10 laziest states in the United States?
6.  Diet Coke pimp slaps Pepsi to #3.
7.  Rihanna Photo Shoot.........
8.  10 Tips on how to get a good nights sleep
9.  Google shows off the Top Gear test track here in the United States.
10.  5 Reasons you should befriend a Missouri resident by 2012

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Daily Link Blast

Here are some great links that we found from around the web this week. 

1.  Top 10 Stupidest toys of all time
2.  Top 10 Video Game Weapons you will need for the Apocalypse
3.  New Beastie Boys Album this April
4.  History of Bond Cars Infographic
5.  The 10 best Life Size Mazes in the world.  These are awesome.
6.  The city of St. Louis has more shrinkage than George Costanza
7.  7 Facebook Search Engines that don't suck
8.  11 Examples of Bad Parenting
9.  Top 10 Misleading Career Paths
10.  D list Super Heroes that suck

Monday, May 18, 2009


This will start my 2nd summer south of 119th street and I feel a little bit more prepared for it this time around. Those of you that are new to the area and in need of guidence please let me help you out here.

1. Lawn Wars - This is nothing more than a show of wealth. Those that can afford unlimited watering, underground sprinklers, illegal grounds keeping and professional landscaping always win. If you see a house in SOJOCO without any of the above mentioned then you know that they are living above their means.

2. Pool - When I was a kid my brother and I went to the pool nearly everyday that the weather allowed. My parents busted their ass's at work to ensure that this happened and we made the most of it. NOW in SOJOCO it is a sign of poverty if you go to an Overland Park Public Pool . The pools nowadays are hidden in the gated communities and are only given access to those who are worthy enough to live there.

3. 40 trying to be 20 - We have all seen the 40 year old women in SOJOCO who try to dress like they are 20 years old . While a small portion are able to pull it off the vast majority of these chicks embarrass themselves in public. Boy short and jogging bras are a privallage to wear, not a right.

4. BBQing & Grilling - These morons have the most expensive smokers and grills on the market yet have no clue how to use them. Let's get one thing straight right now. IF YOU USE A GAS GRILL YOU ARE NOT BBQING YOU ARE COOKING. Ribs, chicken, sausuage, brisket and pulled pork require smoke not gas. If you want to call it grilling, fine. Just stop embarrassing our hood.

5. Lack of parental supervision for kids - The crap that these kids get away with is amazing. It is almost as if they have no rules and the parents are scared to punish their kids. Summertime is the worst because of all the free time that these monsters have.

6. Frozen Custard - Ice Cream isn't good enough for the people of SOJOCO. The mere thought of going to a DQ or Baskin Robins is enough to get you kicked out of your cul de sac. Enter Frozen Custard. This overly priced expensive crap is the only frozen dessert allowed in the land o gates.

7. Golf Guy - $2000 worth of clubs and $20 worth of lessons. Priceless.

8. Scooter riders - Would someone please tell these jackass's that they arent cool. These are the prefered method of transportation for EMO kids and Dorky old people trying to be green.

9. The Lake - I have mentioned this one before, WHICH LAKE! Not everyone likes to swim in a lake full of urine, used condoms and beer cans so we avoid Lake of the Ozarks. By saying "The Lake" you remind me of the Roxberry movie where the two douchebags always said "The Club".

10. Cyclist - Nuf said.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008


Since I gave you the worst I guess I should give you the best.


Sports Talk Show Host
- Soren Petro
Syndicated Radio Show - Glenn Beck
Meteorologist - Mike Thompson
AM Talk show host - Darla Jaye
News Programming - KMBC
Journalist - Michael Mahoney
News Website - KSHB
Radio Station - 810 WHB
TV Sports Anchor
- Frank Boal
TV News Anchor - Larry Moore
Media Member covering politics
- Dave Helling
Sports Columnist
- Jason Whitlock
New Radio Personality - Jason Anderson
Covered Story in the Media - Kelsie Smith
Idea in Media - Star Layoffs
Metro TV Station - Metro Sports
Media controlled Blog - Crime Scene KC
Reading over lunch - The Pitch
Special Interest Group
School District - Blue Valley
Republican -Sam Brownback
Democrat - Mike Sanders
Community Activist - JOCO SOB
Kansas Politician - Sam Brownback
Missouri Politician - Kit Bond
Local Cause - Crime Prevention
Community to live in - JOCO
Street to live on - Mission Road
JOCO City - Leawood
Least Blight - Leawood
Missouri Burb to live in - Lee's Summit
Town to live in - Lawrence
Highway to drive on - 435
Street for Development in JOCO - 135th street
place to rent an apartment in JOCO -Town Center Plaza
JOCO HS - Blue Valley North
JOCO Elem School - Blue River
JOCO Park - Heritage Park
JOCO Police Cars - Lenexa
Trash Pick Up - Overland Park
Place to live in KCMO - WALDO
Historical Marker - Liberty Memorial
Tourist Attraction - The Plaza
Pizza Place - George's Pizza
BBQ - Oklahoma Joes
Deli - New York Deli
Chicken -Strouds
Fast Food Drive Through - Wendy's
Steak - J. Gilberts
Fries -Oklahoma Joes
Hyped Fast Food Place - Culvers
Bar Food - Johnny's
Italian Food -Jaspers
Service - Melting Pot
Meal for the Money - Amore de Brazil
Seafood - McCormick & Schmicks
Mexican - Abuelos
Fast Food Mexican - Taco Via
Lunch Buffet - Waldo Pizza
Burger - Flying Saucer
Chili Cheese Fries - The Peanut
Donuts - Krispy Kreme
Breakfast - Cascones Diner
Drug Store Chain -Walgreens
Electronics - Best Buy
Grocery Store Chain- Hen House
Place to buy Meat - McGonigles
Pay TV/Internet - AT&T
Mall - Oak Park
Gas Station -Quick Trip
Priced Computers - Best Buy
Priced BBQ Equipment - Oklahoma Joes BBQ Store
Place to Buy a Motorcycle - Worth Harley Davidson
New Shopping Area - Village West
Box Store - Target
Outdoors Store - Bass Pro Shop
Hardware Store - Nuts & Bolts
Book Store - Barnes & Noble
College Athletic Department
- KU
College Basketball Tean -KU
College Football Team - MU
Sports Franchise - Royals
Athlete in Public - Tony Gonzalez
General Manager - Dayton Moore
Chiefs Player - Brandon Flowers
Royals Player -Zack Greinke
Games to Attend - Royals
Cheerleaders - Brigade
Mascot -Slugger
Fans -Royals
Entertainment Area - P&L District
Bar -McCoys Public House
Movie Theater - AMC 30 Olathe
Place to Attend an Event - Sprint Center
Place to see Animals - Deanna Rose
Place to Entertain your Kids -Power Play
People watching - Casinos
Hotel For a Weekend - Westin Crown Center
Romantic Dinner - The Melting Pot
TV Sitcom - The Office
TV Show - The Wire
Place to Work - Hallmark
Blog Topic - Crime
Blog Gadget - Sitemeter
Blog Topic - Obama
Place to get an animal - Craigslist
Charitable donations - Toys for Tots
Place of Worship - Your home
Place to get Shot - Within 3 blocks of Independence Avenue
Place to see fat chicks think they are hot - Ren Fest
Place to see girls with Daddy issues - Hooters
Place to get bit by a stray dog - Central Avenue
Place to see White Gang Bangers - Oak Park Mall
Place to see Inbreeding - The Great Mall

Friday, October 17, 2008


Since this will probably be the last year for Carl Peterson it is important that we make sure that we find him a job. In order to protect the metro area from this mans lack of leadership we need to make sure that was steer him in the direction of something that he couldn't possibly mess up. You don't want him ending up at a company like American Century and ruining them. So here are 10 jobs that Carl is more than qualified for.

KCMOSD Superintendent -
CEO of Sprint -
Program director for 710 or 610 am.
Head of Ad sales at the Star.
East Side "religious" leader.
Wife of Mayor
Head search for Sprint Center Anchor Tenant.
Light Rail lobbyist
Chief of Police KCMO
Head of Union Station
On deck
11. Person that purchases Katie Horners jeans

Wednesday, October 01, 2008


I have been inspired by Midtowns ability to capture fall in Midtown.

1. Influx of KCK/KCMO school kids working day shifts at retail establishments due to JOCO kids leaving their summer jobs for college.

2. Festivals - The towns of JOCO love to put on a festival to show off to our neighbors to the North and East that we (unlike them) are capable of having more than 20 people in a street event without gunfire.

3. Christmas Items in Stores - I was at Target the other day and they had just as much Christmas stuff up as they did Halloween.

4. Trick or Treating - Every year bus loads (not kidding) of inner city youth get dropped off in our neighborhoods to ask for Candy. Sure we here in JOCO have some houses with great halloween decorations but aren't their neighborhoods truly scary. The only Halloween decoration I plan on putting up is a street sign in front of my house that says 40th and Prospect.

5. School Fund Raisers - This is the biggest shakedown in US history. Not only do we pay taxes for public schools, enrollment fees, activity fees etc.. but now we get to buy over priced candy bars and crappy giftwrap to support the schools. Hell even the Mafia only collected once.

6. Teenagers driving at rush hour - Do I really need to expand on Biff & Amber driving their new Lexus at 100mph through school zones while eating or putting on makeup?

7. Lawn Care Wars - This is the time of season in which the competition picks up between neighbors and their lawns. From leaf pick up to fertilization, this is where the rubber meets the road. Those who have neglected their lawns all spring and summer will be dubbed trash by the rest of the neighborhood.

8. Charity Drives - This is the time of year in which the calls start coming into JOCO residents to help save KCMO. Every year the fine upstanding residents reach into their pockets and donate Hundreds of thousands of dollars to feed and clothe those living in the East side. We do this despite their hatred for us and ask for nothing in return (except for a tax write off).

9. Election signs - Oh yes my favorite. Each fall we get to see the wonderful display of election signs in yards and on the corners of busy intersections. I always find it a great way to find out who the commies are in the neighborhood.

10. Layoffs at Sprint are on the Horizon. Sure this can be said about every season but the fall layoffs always seem to be the biggest and best hidden.

Monday, September 22, 2008


It is easy for us Chiefs fans to feel down about our team this year. Let's face it, if we win 1 game it will be a miracle but I am here to cheer you up. Here are Ten things worst than the Chiefs in the metro.

1. Crime in KCK
2. Crime in the East Side.
3. Katie Horner
4. The Kansas City School District
5. The Kansas City Star
6. The Kansas City Zoo
7. The Kansas City Royals
8. The Kansas City Mayor
9. The Kansas City "City Counsel"
10. The Kansas City Blight Rail Plan.

After reading that list I have come to the conclusion that it might only cheer up those of us that live in JOCO. The rest of you guys are freaking DOOMED!

Friday, August 22, 2008


I am not going to go into an in depth explanation about each of these because most of you know that these places suck. This is just a warning for Tourists and village idiots looking to travel into KCMO.

1. 18th & Vine - Enjoy the new parking lot. (notice all the traffic there when this photo was taken, yeah me neither)

2. Crown Center - I believe that the shops are open 5 hours a day there and full of crap that you don't need.

3. Crossroads District - You can find better art on your home refrigerator. The people that go to this area play make believe that Kansas City has culture and therefore are total morons.

4. The Brooksider - Holy poser hell.

5. Science S**tty - This place might be the biggest joke in the metro.

Friday, August 15, 2008


There has been a change in the top ten this week as Olathe has shored up its offense. Does upstart Olathe have what it takes to move past the perennial powerhouse of Independence? This should be interesting as we have 4.5 months left in the 08 season.

2. KCK
3. Independence
4. Olathe
5. Raytown
6. Grandview
7. Gladstone
8. Merriam
9. Roeland Park
10. Lawrence

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


If you are ever bored and can't afford a trip to Worlds of Fun but are still looking for an adrenaline rush feel free to visit one of these classy areas at about 1am.

1. Prospect - KCMO
2. Cleaver Blvd - KCMO
3. Quindaro - KCK

4. Troost - KCMO

5. Central Avenue - KCK
6. Tracy - KCMO

7. Agnes - KCMO

8. Parallel Parkway - KCK

9. Independence Avenue - KCMO
10. Lydia - KCMO

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


In no order at all
1. Abuelos - Zona Rosa
2. Mi Ranchito - All over town
3. Ponaks - Southwest Blvd
4. La Fuente - Stanley
5. Salty Iguana - Prairie Village
6. Manny's - Southwest Blvd
7. Jalapenos - Lenexa & Stanley

8. Mi Cocina - Plaza Area

Best Fast Food Mexican
1. Taco Via - 95th and Antioch
2. In a Tub - N. Oak

Monday, July 14, 2008


Ever since moving into SOJOCO I have noticed that life out here is a bit different than the rest of JOCO. I am thinking about calling National Geographic and having them do a documentry based on suburb life in the SOJOCO( I am not kidding). There are things that go on out here that need to be documented and studied that are beyond my grasp and therefore need an expert analysis.

1. Play Dates- What the hell are these things? What ever happened to kids simply playing together? Now it is a big production requiring an invite AND they have to be with the right kids, your children can be social outcasts by the age 6 if you are not careful.

2. Where do you live? - This question is asked all the time when out and about in SOJOCO. This is a status test, because you can't answer Overland Park or Leawood, no no, they want a specific subdivision to see if you are worthy enough to associate with them.

3. HOA - These things are more restrictive and full of backstabbing than the Stalin regime. We got lucky and missed the civil war in our development but the drama is still there under the surface.

4. Mom Identifiers - Mothers in SOJOCO feel that the must call themselves "working mom" or "stay at home mom" as if that is their only identification in life. Do these women have no self esteem? Do they live to do what there husbands and kids demand? Get your own identity ladies and stop kissing the ass's of your husbands. MOM isn't your only label.

5. Live through their kids - I think that some of these parents were losers in High School and are trying to be what they weren't through their kids. I have witnessed people with no athletic ability whatsoever scream at their 9 year old for not putting enough break on the curve ball. I have heard about parents holding kids back a year in order for them to be the biggest kid on the team. Parents have even move their kids out of an one elementary school and into another because their was a kid that was better than them at their position.

6. OBX Stickers - If you have one of these on the back of your ride OR a similar sticker with your "subdivision" in initials you need to go F yourself. I don't care where you live or where you vacation.

7. Kids Cars - The site of a 16 year old in a 60k Lexus makes me want to puke. Whatever happened to getting a job and earning money for your own car? Some parents are passing off these cars to their kids for "good grades" or because they don't have TIME to work. THEY ARE IN HIGHSCHOOL, THEY CAN FIND THE TIME.

8. Retail - Who the hell can afford to shop at the stores that are going up in SOJOCO? Are people putting all this crap on credit cards? I would have to cash in my 401k just to buy a T-Shirt at some of these stores.

9. Restaurants are all the same - These place have no identity other than a sign out front. Where the hell are the locals? How about a nice Mom & Pop place with a unique menu?

10. 119TH STREET - This seems to be the great divide. If you ask anyone is SOJOCO if they have been some place on the other side of 119th street they look at you as if you are speaking a foreign language. It is almost as if 119th street is some man made river with no bridge. Of course the same can be said for people that live in NKC (never go south of the river) and Lees Summit(Grandview Triangle)

Friday, April 11, 2008


These crappy stories/story lines need to leave. They are boring, uninteresting & over reported.

1. Kline vs. Morrison - These guys are JOCO's version of Harry & Lloyd. I will let you decide which one is dumb & which one is dumber.
2. Light Rail - This includes the words Chastain & Bi State.
3. Downtown Parking - It isn't like parking in the burbs, the end.
4. Forty Degree Days - How hard has it been to be a weather person in the metro this year. First they blow every snow prediction and then for the past 3 months they say the same thing. 40 degrees and rain.
5. St. Joe - Don't they have their own TV station? Why the hell do we have to hear about that crap hole town?
6. Small Market - Built in excuse for all the wrongs in KC athletics.
7. Gas Prices - Complaining about it isn't going to lower them.
9. The Zoo - One new story a year is all that I need to hear.
10. Smoking bans...................

Friday, March 21, 2008


1. The fact that on Saint Patrick's Day everyone suddenly is part Irish.
2. Crappy automatic car washes. My car should not look worst when I fork over $12 to get it clean.
3. Sick People out in public. Thanks for getting me sick jackass.
4. The cable company replacing technology that works with crap that doesn't. The new box's that Time Warner is using are pieces of crap.
5. Moving - Even when you hire movers it is a pain in the ass. If I ever move again I will be hiring packers as well.
6. People that complain about their comments not being published.
7. Cold weather - I am sick of this crap. Seriously, snow on freaking Easter?
8. Ignorant Sports "Fans".
9. Clutter
10. No more full service gas stations. Why the hell don't we have these things anymore? I would pay a little extra if it meant that I didn't have to get out of the car in the freaking cold. What joy do people get out of pumping their own gas?
11. Slow grocery sackers.
12. 15 minute wait at restaurants. Why is it that it is always 15 minutes?
13. Reality TV Shows.
14. People that make it their goal to remain in you blind spot while driving.
15. 16 year old driving a Lexus.
16. People that leave VM's saying that they called on my cell phone. Most cell phones tell you if you missed a call yet these idiots want you to dial your vm and go through all the menu options just to hear them say "gimme a call".
17. Websites that automatically play music, commercials etc.. when you visit them.
18. Left hand turns.
19. People that hang out at coffee houses.
20. Those that are quick to point out every problem in the world yet never have solutions. I avoid this on my blog, most everything I cover I have at one point or another given solutions to what I consider to be problems. Having read through some local "opinion" blogs in the past few months I rarely see any solutions offered by critics.
21. People that guilt you for not recycling.
22. Subscription cards in magazines. How many of these things do we need? Do the publishers think we are going to hand them out to our friends?
23. Magic acts
24. Bands that still don't have their music on ITunes.
25. Auto Dealerships that put their emblem on the back of your car. They can charge a $200 documentation fee but we get nothing for free advertising?
26. Catholic Charities - These guys are nothing more than shake down artists.
27. Stores that have no guns allowed signs posted on their windows. These stores can usually be seen on the news after a mass shooting has taken place inside there store by someone who must of missed that sign.
28. Unsolicited Advice. If I thought you would give good advice I would probably ask.
29. People that bring their own bags to the grocery store.
30. Claymation - Thanks for sharing your play-doh puppet show.
31. Movies with subtitles & Foreign Films.
32. Tampon & Viagra commercials on TV.
33. Elvis fans. The guy stole 90% of his music.
34. Ring Tones
35. Dane Cook - The most unfunny white guy on the planet.
36. Adults that "Party!" like they are still in college or high school and then have to tell you about it.
37. Applebee's - How this crap hole is still open is beyond me.
38. People that don't get rid of their nose hairs.
39. Rich celebrities flying in private jets, telling me what kind of light bulb to use and to not flush my toilet.
40. People that steal from my blog. If you lack originality at least give me credit. It amazes me how often this has been happening lately.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Thursday, February 14, 2008


In honor of Valentines day I have put together a list of 10 chick flicks that you can tolerate. The two things that a guy needs in a chick flick to get through the movie without slitting his wrists are a) Hot actress b) funny. Good Luck.


1. Pretty Woman - Women love the story about a hooker marrying a rich guy. What does this say about them? Also the only Hooker movie you can bring home and not get in trouble.

2. Clueless - Thin Sliverstone and kinda funny. I believe that this is the last time Silverstone was thin, could be a collectors item.

3. You've got mail - Meg Ryan & funny.

4. How to lose a guy in 10 days - She will love the story and Mathew McConaughey while you enjoy the humor and Kate Hudson.

5. Mean Girls - Lohan before rehab and funny.

6. Legally Blonde - Reese Witherspoon & funny. This could also fall under Science Fiction.

7. 10 things I hate about you - Julia Stiles and funny.

8. Father of the Bride II - Has Steve Martin made a bad movie??

9. Sweet Home Alabama - You get Reese Witherspoon with a Southern Accent, She gets a love story.

10. Legends of the Fall - The only stray from the formula but it has just enough action to make it enjoyable. Plus this could be the only movie on the list that the "chick" will end up hating the woman.

Thursday, January 17, 2008


Over the past few weeks as more and more people have been bookmarking this site I have been getting several requests for a BBQ top ten list that ranks them in order. So here they go, this time in order along with the most over rated/ worst BBQ in town.

1. Gates - There isn't even a close 2nd. Items to order: Short ends, fries, beans.
2. Oklahoma Joes - Best Pork & Fries in town. Items to order: Pulled pork, fries, beans, coleslaw. They also make a pretty decent chili
3. Bryants - Best meat in town - sauce is different Items to order: Burnt ends & Fries. Beans are just ok
4. LC's - Legend
5. Woodyard BBQ - Nothing is bad here and it is CHEAP
6. Jack Stack - Getting a little to fancy for a BBQ place but still the best sausage and beans in town.
7. Quicks BBQ - Legend
8. B.B.'s Lawnside - Great food, terrible location
9. Famous Dave's - It is sad that a National chain beats out many of our local places
10. ADAMS RIB - This is a new joint(2009) off of 87th street. AWESOME food.

On the bubble
Filling station BBQ, Johnny's Hickory house, KC Masterpiece, Wyandotte, Stonewall, Danny Edwards, Smoke stack, Stillwell Station

1. Smokehouse - Terrible sauce that drowns out the flavor of the meat.
2. Big Bubbas - I went back to give these guys a 3rd chance and was completely underwhelmed. If you are in Olathe GO TO Johnny's BBQ, it is your only safe bet besides Oklahoma Joes.
3. Rosedale - The meat there is terrible but they have incredible fries
4. Smokin Joes - Another Olathe crap house but once again they have incredible fries.
5. 135th street BBQ - This might be the worst on the list.
6. Haywards - I have had deli meat that tasted more like BBQ than this place.
7. Brobecks - Getting better but not quite there. Another 6 months and the smokers will be up to the challenge.

The above mentioned 7 places are a complete waste of money when you compare them to the other choices out there.