You might be a douche bag if.....
1. If you believe that Legos are sexist.
2. Take a wrong turn into Mexico with over 250k rounds of ammo
3. You are the man in the headline "pregnant man and his wife separate"
4. You were the doctor that couldn't figure out the cause of death on a woman that drank 10 liters of Coke a day until you performed an autopsy.
5. Think that a Secret Service agent admitting to checking out Sarah Palin is news.
6. Think that lining up your students and firing blanks at them is a good idea at school.
7. That Starbucks put crushed bugs in their drinks and you still drank it.
8. Are over 70 years old and accept a new coaching job
9. Think that you are going to get a hooker that looks like this for $47