I use to respect and admire Steve Jobs but after reading this story it may change everything!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
HATERS HATE
You knew it was coming, the hate filled response to midtowns pitch article by the Fred Phelps of the East Side.
A MUST READ FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Those of you JOCOians that read this blog know that I have been a fan of this guys work for the past year when we started exchanging emails. So be sure to check out the story that the Pitch did on Midtown.
THE TWELVE DAYS OF A KCMO CHRISTMAS
This is a rough draft so bare with me.
12 School superintendents
11 homicides in planning
10 Vacant homes a burning
9 Teachers striking
8 "Mammies" a milking
7 Companies closing
6 Car jackings
5 an arena with VACANCYYYYYYY
4 City Counsel turds
3 Conventions Leaving
2 Teams that suck
AND A CRAPPY MAYORS CHRISTMAS TREE
THE SOURCE OF PAIN FOR SOME MARRIED MEN
Today while I was hard at work in my office I was flipping through the Pitch website (as I said it is great lunchtime reading) and stumbled across this little story. It appears that Lee Jeans is the company behind the hideous creation known as "mom jeans". These jeans are the most depressing thing I have ever seen on a woman. Even more sickening then fat women wearing spandex and even worst than stirrup pants.
These jeans completely destroy the appearance of a woman and should be outlawed at once.
Since this is a JOCO company I am all in favor of putting together a picket line in front of their building next week.
Nothing says "I don't give a crap anymore" like a woman wearing mom jeans.
SCROOGE LINKS
Just to remind you that Scrooge is more than a movie. I pulled these headlines to the side to remind you that while most of us are celebrating this week in our comfortable JOCO homes, there are those out there not as fortunate as us. There are also people out there that want to ruin our way of life and will not rest until we are as miserable as them.
1. 13 year old kid that was tied to a tree and tortured for 18 hours back in June couldn't make it to Christmas.
2. Road Rage in Dallas kills 2 people. Tis da season.
3. Remember the Boston Tea Party? Good, cus we may need to drop some tea in a harbor again if these bastards get their way.
4. Don't these people know that the only acceptable time to steal is in a time of crisis. Looting is much cooler than shoplifting.
5. Gang raping lesbians isn't included in the 12 days of Christmas is it? On a side note she was raped which should be punishable by death, so I don't understand why they had to include the fact that she was a lesbian in the story.
6. The people of Venezuela are being denied one of the finest dining venues ever conceived (THE FOOD COURT) by their dictator.
7. Iowa man guilty of selling Teen Girls off for Christmas.
8. Milkman turns Dopeman. Nothing says Merry Christmas more than buying your Grandma a dime bag.
9. Your Christmas Hot Chocolate may kill you, seriously.
10. Your Wii could kill you, not so seriously.
Monday, December 22, 2008
COLD WEATHER IS DEVESTATING KCMO
If you don't believe me then read this story......Done? Ok, have you noticed that the aim of KCMO residents has started to slip lately? Well imagine trying to aim a weapon in a moving car while wearing gloves.. Poor bastards should seriously think about unionizing so that they can get all of their killing done from April - October. This is no weather to be out shooting up houses.
ANYONE ELSE SICK OF THIS GLOBAL WARMING CRAP?
The balmy temperatures that we have had so far this winter makes me believe that there might be something to this Global Warming stuff. I would post more but I am headed to the pool......
THE BLOGGER REACH AROUND
Has anyone else been noticing the circle jerk going on amongst local bloggers? It is enough to make an Ethiopian spit up his last piece of rice. "Your blog is awesome", "Nooooo, your blog is the best", "Will you be my BFF?" To quote one Charles Brown, GOOD GRIEF. Get over yourselves people.
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