FAMILY GUY STAR WARS PARODIES

QUICK HITS

1. Anytime Nixa, Mo makes the local news it goes on this blog. Our criminals have no borders and need to leave the fine people of Nixa alone.

2. Thieves rob a Bob Evans???? I am sure that joint was full of cash and well worth the future prison sentence that these morons face. IF you were to rob a local dining establishment wouldn't you choose one that doesn't offer AARP discounts?

3. What does the FBI have against Whitey? Haven't they learned? A strong mob means crime stays organized.

4. Princess Diana a high priced whore. I knew it!!!!!!! You would think that you could find an attractive whore for the price she was going for.

5. Clintons take the leash off of Chelsea but keep her on the farm. I am sure that a twenty something year old girl that has lived in mansions most of her life is well equipped to tell others how to live.

6. FINALLY!!! DRUG TESTING FOR WELFARE MOOCHERS!!!!!!! Time to start selling my urine.

Today is my Nephew's Birthday

Happy Birthday James!

Vanessa Marcil PICS

THINGS OF NOTE

1. Those of you with the History channel need to start watching a series called Gangland. The topics and people covered in this show will open your eyes to crime in our cities. These gangs should be considered terrorist threats to our country and are responsible for thousands of deaths in our country every year.
2. Has there ever in our history been a worst candidate selection for president? I have my favorite but the religious right of my party will oppose him at every stop and push for the nomination of an unelectable bible thumper that will raise my taxes.
   
3. I told my wife that I cut my hand when petting the cat the other day. She asked me how and I told her on the cats bones. This cat weighs maybe 3lbs but will probably out live me.
   
4. The Harley fired up without a problem last weekend. I keep hearing about all of this winter prep stuff that you should do for your bike and after 2 years of not prepping it I have had no problems. I do however need to purchase and install my new handlebars.
5. Why is the newspaper putting videos up on their website? When I click on a link regarding a story I want to read it NOT WATCH IT when I find it on the stars website. If I want video I will go to one of the TV news sites.
   
6. The Mayor of KCMO is a joke. I stood behind him when he fought La Raza but the guy just never quits making PR mistakes. It is like a bad (not that there was a good) Ernest movie. Ernest goes to city hall. For a guy that doesn't want the spotlight he and his wife sure do enough to remain in it. Funkhouser and wife just need to shut up.
7. It amazes me how ignorant the people that have been elected in the state of Kansas are. Instead of focusing on crime, education and our economy they waste their time on abortion witch hunts ( I am antiabortion), gambling, smoking, drinking, music, evolution etc... How about you stop worrying about what is going on inside my house, car and yard and start worrying about what is going on in the classrooms, in the streets and in your treasury.
   
8. People over the age of 70 should be tested every year to remain eligible for a drivers license.
   
9. An idiot in my office bought a Blue Ray Player but doesn't have HDTV. Good luck with that.
10. An MU fan acted surprised this morning when I said that I didn't consider this Saturdays game a "big game". When MU becomes relevant again in basketball please wake me up.
11. Q1 is always so much fun around the office. The owners of my company set lofty goals that we never hit and expect people that haven't performed to suddenly flip the switch and start producing. They always promise me the world "once we get big" and I use to believe in it. Now when they discuss the future I completely tune them out. What they are discussing is their future. People in sales know to go one day at a time.
12. The 23 year old girl we hired last month in my office is driving a 50k lexus and makes 30k in base salary.
    
13. People that email (non work related), message board, blog etc.. while on vacation should be beat down. Get a grip and enjoy your vacation. I got an email from a buddy saying that he was having a great time in Ireland..... My response will have to be from my home computer.
    
14. Scrapbook season has once again started. This means classes, crops, girls weekends, etc... 24/7. The amount of time and effort that my wife puts into a class in exchange for a store discount is bad economics.
    

QUICK HITS

1. It is early in the first quarter and KCMO is trying to keep their lead on KCK for this years Murder Bowl with a close call at a local ER.

2. NKC says don't count us out and puts one up on the board.

3. And my favorite headline of they day (especially after reading the above) is "Legislative to see proposal to condemn gangster rap". THAT SHOULD FIX EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that these people were elected? What a collection of dumb ass's.

4. It is not news to many out there that Claire has Jungle Fever.

5. California is creeping closer & closer to becoming a socialist state. Wasn't this once the land of the free? Now we aren't even free to set the temperatures in our own homes.

6. Cat corpses & a million bees will take this home off of the parade of homes list.

7. Hillary blames Obama for being black.

8. When Hugo Chavez does it they call it seizing properties. When your local mayor does it they call it eminent domain. Which is worst?

9. Clinton top adviser gets arrested for going 70 in a 30 while hammered. It is good to see that the Clinton camp has such high regard for our safety.

10. Dumb ass. That's right just simply put, Dumb ass.

My wife just asked me

Why is Tom Brady so great.....................