QUICK HITS

1. If carjacking were an Olympic Game Kansas City would be well represented.

2. 54th & Prospect, do I even need to tell you what happened after I type that address?

3. KCK makes up for slow weekend with a twofer.

4. What are the odds that these river racers will find at least one floater?

5. Gay & Lesbian group booted from Jackson County Park campground for drinking and unleashed dogs. This brings up an important topic worthy of discussion, do gay people own gay pets?

6. NOTE TO THE MIDDLE CLASS: DO NOT DONATE TO CHARITY, SAVE IT FOR YOURSELF OR THIS COULD BE YOU...

7. A school administration guilty of wasting money? Nahhhh.

8. "there is a rat in my soup"...

9. This guy would of been better of taking a multivitamin.

10. Booze and zoo's seem to be a problem in Europe. At least the Bears got a nice treat.

SHOOTING ODDS IN THE METRO

After 10 months of tracking metro crime I feel that I am qualified to start putting up some vegas style odds for shootings on a nightly basis in the metro area. Some of you might think that it is just a random number thrown out by me, but you are wrong. You have to study the "game", understand the players and the conditions.

Here are some(but not all) factors that I will be utilizing to create these odds.

1. Temperature - This is a nobrainer. The hotter it gets the more violent it gets.
2. Time of the Month - The further away from the 1st or 15th you are the more likely there is to be an armed robbery.
3. The headlines - If there is a drive by one night there is a good chance for retaliation the next night.
4. Concerts - If there is a Bay Area rapper having a concert in town, there will be a shooting.
5. Arrest made - Anytime the local police take down an alleged kinpin there will be a battle for that top spot.

TODAYS LINE IS : 2

AND OF COURSE THE MEDIA STILL IGNORES THE GANG PROBLEM IN KC.

CHICK+TOILET=ASS KICKING

How does this poor bastard show his face at work tomorrow?

SORRY HATERS

Does it get any worst for Missouri dwellers? Money magazine ranks the KANSAS suburb of OP as the 9th best place to live and Olathe the 11th best place. Lees Summit..........#79.

In other rankings Gangbanger Illustrated has ranked KCMO #4 in the nation, KCK finished #15.

UPDATE ON BLIGHT PHOTOS

Just an fyi.. I am still working on getting this done but as you can imagine it is difficult to get out and get all of these photos. I should have it done by Next Friday.

KANSAS CITY CRIMINALS CUTTING COSTS

Duct tape has long been none as a fix all tool for all do it yourselfers so it should be no surprise that KC criminals have started incorporating this into their robbery attempts. The only surprise is that criminals in this town were smart enough to think of duct tape instead of SCOTCH.

UNREADABLE ONCE AGAIN

I don't know why I keep going to the Sun publications website. It may be for the same reason people stop and look at car wrecks but I still venture to their crappy site once a week. This week Katrina Segers thought it would be topical to ask "what if an earthquake hit Kansas". Seriously. I can't wait for her follow up columns.

What if an asteroid where to hit Kansas?

What if dogs were called cats and cats were called dogs?

What if aliens attacked Kansas?