FUNNY

I normally don't post this type of stuff on the blog but this is too freaking funny. Call 603-413-4133.
(the photo above has nothing to do with the number)

TO QUOTE VINCE VAUGHN

THIS CHICK IS MONEY! That was the best speech since Reagan I have seen at a Republican convention. Liberal wacko women haters need to beware...... She destroyed, let me say this again, absolutely destroyed Barry and his lack of qualifications and his socialist agenda.

QUICK HITS

TOP TEN STORIES THAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT TODAY.

1. Cheating is genetic in men according to scientist. Were these just male scientist looking to create a get out of jail card?

2. Big Brother begins tracking your weight. Here comes the Fat Tax.

3. The worst Mayor since dumb ass Berry is finally going to quit. The problem will be finding someone with less of a criminal pass than this guy in Detroit (where you can buy a house for $1).

4. American soldiers invade Pakistani caves. Question, would you rather live in a Pakistani Cave or live on KCMO's East Side?

5. Drunk doctor tries to give woman an epidural. Men are always trying to take advantage of women when they are drunk.

6. This guy decided to try and run over 3 women that turned him down. Does Hearnes Christopher have a drivers license? If so westport could get even more dangerous.

7. No report yet on Polar Bills Killed in action.

8. Will Reverend Wright blame the CIA for injecting AIDS into ancient Rome?

9. Nothing says safety more than riding a bus with a lost driver in Brooklyn for 5 hours.

10. Wacko Liberal (aren't they all) caught planning attack on RNC.

THE WIRE

With the rain, wind and cool temperatures you knew that last night would be nearly silent in the Metro.

1. Despite the elements the North East was able to come through for the rest of the metro with a shooting at 1:30am. I know, weird that someone got shot in that neighborhood at that time of night....

2. Abandoned KCK duplex burns. Arson anyone?

3. Thieves have no limits. Obviously these copper thieves enter our county from KCK or KCMO.

4. Only in KCMO will you find a thief that would steal newports and whiskey to cover court costs.

Todays over/under on shootings will stay at 2

KU PLAYERS TRANSITIONING INTO NBA LIFE

Just fine. The fact that these guys are all ready smoking hippie lettuce means that they will be big stars in the NBA.

OBAMA THE LIAR

THE WIRE

What better way to salute crime in the city than to rename my crime segment "The Wire". The daily shooting Over/Under will be posted in this section as well.

1. KCMO residents that can't afford guns and grenades still find ways to represent their hood. Stabbing on Independence Avenue.

2. The name "Inner City Oil" doesn't exactly sound like a safe place. If he were still alive you could ask this poor bastard that was jumped and killed by 3 men last night in KCK.

3. KCMO crime spreads to Lee's Summit. These guys however should get a medal for preventing the opening of yet another coffee house.

4. Keep Burning KCMO, nobody is paying any attention to it anyways.

5. Could you imagine filing a complaint about Mohammad the cab driver? The cab companies roster has to have a minimum of 100 drivers named Mohammad. Anyways it appears that this Mohammad liked to forcibly exchange sex for cab fare. Good news for prostitutes looking to catch a ride to Johns house.

6. Aren't banks having enough problems right now?

7. Residents near Bannister Mall take on cops.

Todays over/under on getting shot: 2. The weather may prevent crime today.