THE WIRE - WEEKEND KETCHUP

As Jocoians we need to be thankful that we don't live in these hell holes. While we were busy eating turkey and hanging up Christmas lights the rest of the Metro was busy going East Side.

1. Have you ever read a story in which the street Van Brunt was involved in Crime? Shooting at 7th and crap.
2. This is the second time that this store has made THE WIRE. Hispanic on Hispanic crime is rampant in Olathe.
3. KCK Police Standoff sparks the beginning of the Holiday Season.

4. My mother use to tell me that nothing good happens after midnight....In KCMO the same can be said for 5:30. This poor bastard was gunned down at 2am. Season Greetings.
5. STL carjackers give themselves the death penalty.

6. Barbershop 3. Burn them bitches down.

SONG OF THE YEAR 2008 - HIP HOP

HANDS DOWN.

HIP HOP FLASH BACK

Saw him in concert out in Cali shortly after this album dropped.

WHAT I AM THANKFUL FOR

This list could be a long one but nobody wants to read that crap. Instead I have simplified it all to the one constant in my life that has made what I have now possible, my wife.

My wife saved me. I was not exactly a good person when I came back from the Marine Corp. I was pissed, short tempered, violent and bored and felt like I had no future. I ran with a crowd that no longer exists. Most of them are now statistics that I am sure were chronicled on some other jackass's blog. I had my own brushes with death and never learned, no matter how much my parents tried I never listened to them. I had no desire to be the person that they raised me to be or the person that I was capable of being.

Then I met my wife. It may sound corny to say that she made me want to be a better person but she did. She for some reason saw the good in me but wouldn't have a real relationship with me until I changed my ways. She said this to me without uttering a single word other than NO.

This was all 14 years ago and I can honestly say that she has given me all of my reasons to be thankful. My wonderful daughters, my great job, our wonderful house, my relationship with my family are all from her.

Thank you honey, I love you.

QUICK HITS - THANKSGIVING EDIITION

TOP 10 STORIES THAT JOCOIANS NEED TO READ BETWEEN NAPS TODAY.

1. KCK residents can look forward to paying more for their utilities thanks to the crooks at the EPA.

2. Since JOCO is a safe wholesome community the police officers are free to get hammered on the job.

3. This is the Kansas Citian of the year???????? Give me a break! I am sick of rich people rewarding each other for sitting on boards. Who the hell in this city has heard of this chick before now? This award should go out to all Kansas Citians that work multiple jobs in order to provide for their families. Citizens that while having very little still find the time and resources to help others. Not some chick who happened to shake the right hands at the right parties this year.

4. The only thing worst than the last name is the woman. I now understand why Funkhouser is so tall. He has to grow to make room for his wifes hand that is lodged up his ass. If you have ever shaken the hand of this woman be sure to wash them right away.

5. Couple gets busted for having sex in handicapped stall at football game.

6. Isn't it good to know that we are spending billions of dollars on researching water sources in outer space while millions in Africa can't find a drop to drink on our planet?

7. Old person dies in Indiana. I guess that this is news to someone......

8. Missouri man nearly takes off the head of his daughter with electric saw.

9. G&R give us free Dr. Pepper.

10. People that follow celebrity relationships typically have no lives. There lack of lives force us to skim through the crappy headlines that they consider news in order to find real stories. On that note does anyone give a crap about an old woman and a baseball players relationship?

THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

I am typing this from my backup laptop due to the recent failure of the Sony Vaio. I am not sure how it happened or why a laptop that is seldom used and only a year old died on me. Is this a plot by the left to keep me down? Are KCMO residents trying to silence me? Did Omega Man use a gamma ray to wipe out my system start up? Probably not. This conspiracy is bigger than that. It involves a billionaire and a company that can't produce a single decent piece of software.

Mr. Gates,
I would like to thank you for designing software (Vista) that is so ineffective that it can render a $1000 worth of hardware useless. I know that a $1000 isn't much to a billionaire but for a middle class jocoian with a family of 4 it is a huge amount. Could you please send me a refund for the laptop that your company destroyed? I am not asking for anything above what I had, just a machine that works.
Thank you,
JOCO SOB

P.S. Take your Vista operating system and shove it up your white pasty ass. You my friend might be the biggest douche bag to walk the face of the earth. Who the hell else would release an operating system that crashes more than a blind person driving a stick shift? Thank you for ruining my holiday season you POS.

1 YEAR

I had an emailer inform me(thank you) that I have come to the One year anniversary of my blog (in its current format). When I started this thing I told myself that I would do it for a year and see what happens. True to my word I will now spend the next 4 days deciding whether or not to keep JOCO SOB open or simply go elsewhere.