THE WIRE

Business is up today folks.

1. KCK Trailer Parks kick it up a notch. Nothing beats a good trailer park crime.

2. 11pm+ E. 25th street = Shooting. That my friends is a KCMOSD story problem.

3. When you rob a drive through do you ask for the money at the menu or wait until you pull around to the 1st drive through window?

4. Outbreak of Auto crimes in Happy Rock.

5. Once again I repeat that there is no Arson problem in KC. LOOK AWAY.

JOCO IS UNDER ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After reading about this Shawnee High School student getting stabbed in the gut today during a robbery and the purse snatching in Olathe what else is one to think??

In 2008 the residents of KCK and KCMO were robbing each other but in 2009 the robbing and stabbing of JOCOians seems to be the new thing. I have been warning the residents of our fine county about this for the past year but did anyone listen to me? Nooooooooooooo.

It is time to seal off 435, 635, I35 and 18th street expressway. We need to start checking license plates of cars entering our county and only allow people in that have work visas or permission from a mayor to enter. These are the first steps, stay tuned for more.

AWESOMENESS

When you type in "caroline kennedy dumb" I am your first result.

THE WIRE

I guess "stop shooting people" wasn't exactly a popular new years resolution in KCMO.

1. Drive-by from Honda hits dude in his hand...Is that really a crime for KCMO? How many times have we read about people with half of their guts missing driving themselves to the doctors office for help? I'm surprised that this one was even called in.

2. Gun Point robberies hit Olathe. Unlike the story above this (in scale) is a more serious crime. We can not allow this type of thing to continue in our county (even if it is Olathe).

3. I guess the story here is that someone in KCK actually reported a crime. Dunno, kudos to them for knowing to dial 911 I guess.

DID I MENTION EARLIER THAT A WOMAN GOT STABBED BY A CRACK PIPE? BEST STORY EVER.

CERTAIN SENTENCES GRAB YOUR ATTENTION

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- A teen who was shot on Friday has died.

Freddy H. Medina, 16, was shot in the head at his family's home in the 3700 block of Bales Avenue.

Police say Freddy and 3 friends were drinking in his bedroom at around 1:30 a.m. Freddy had bought a rifle on the street earlier, and the friends began posing for photos with the gun.

One friend lost his grip on the rifle. When the gun began to fall, he tightened his grip again which caused the gun to accidentally fire.

The friends all then ran from the house.

Family members heard the gunshot. Freddy's mother ran to his room and found her son, wounded and alone. The back door of their home was open.

Homicide detectives questioned the friends and released them, pending further investigation.

Freddy died in a hospital on Monday.

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That sentence speaks volumes for the crime and media coverage of what is going on in KCMO. The mention that he purchased the gun on the street like it was no big deal. Good Luck KCMO you are going to need it.

THE HIPSTER CHICK

Somebody that reads my stupid worthless blog sent me this picture today after reading my hipster post from yesterday. Isn't she hot (eww).

These chicks can be found here in the metro at the Crossroads District, Westport, Whole Foods, Any coffee house that isn't starbucks, and at used book stores. But most of all they can be found writing blogs in the metro area.

If you see one of these chicks it is important to remain calm and not cause trouble. For some reason these women menstruate 28 days a month (in February you are screwed). Do not make eye contact and whatever you do don't try to figure out what the hell she is wearing.

FUNKHOUSER ATTENDS DEDICATION OF HISTORIC LANDMARK

Can someone please tell me why a grocery store is having a dedication ceremony? Is it Historic to be able to purchase groceries? I guess we jocoians are spoiled with our ability to purchase food.

I thought dedication ceremonies were for historic monuments, new bridges, college buildings, ships etc... Not for retail grocery stores looking to make a buck.