Dipshit Poet Society

What happens when you give an ignorant hipster wannabe poet a little attention in metro blogs?  The ultra sensitive and extremely untalented get offended and cry to the blogger and label it's readers as racist and uneducated...

I am pretty sure that there are more doctors, lawyers and business executives that read our local blogs than attend some hipster poetry reading.  Seriously, what does a poet make annually?  20k?  lol.  Someone needs to tell these coffee house burnouts that it's time to grow up and contribute to society in a meaningful way and to be grateful that someone even noticed their otherwise nonexistent "art".

Hipster Douche Bag Superheros

STARBUCKS LAUNCHES OPERATION: BURN OUT REACH OUT

For the price of $4 your average local burn out can find shelter for 12 hours a day. Not only do they get shelter, they get Coffee and OATMEAL. This move by Starbucks is going to slow down my prediction that the coffee house douche bags would finally go away.
Stay tuned.

THE HIPSTER CHICK

Somebody that reads my stupid worthless blog sent me this picture today after reading my hipster post from yesterday. Isn't she hot (eww).

These chicks can be found here in the metro at the Crossroads District, Westport, Whole Foods, Any coffee house that isn't starbucks, and at used book stores. But most of all they can be found writing blogs in the metro area.

If you see one of these chicks it is important to remain calm and not cause trouble. For some reason these women menstruate 28 days a month (in February you are screwed). Do not make eye contact and whatever you do don't try to figure out what the hell she is wearing.

HOW THE RECESSION WILL END THE COFFEE HOUSE HIPSTER

If there is one thing that the metro area is full of it is coffee house dipsh*ts. These are the people that seem to have no job, life, family or goals other than making it to the coffee house in the morning and trying to make themselves look as repulsive as possible. Well there is good news Kansas City, that will soon be ending.

With the economy hitting the skids and people competing for jobs it will no longer be "cool" to be marginally employed. There will be enough of those people with out them having to try in 2009. Now this is where trickle down hipster economics comes into play and will finally put to an end the wannabe New Yorkers in the metro.
Less people working means that

There will be less new clothing bought...This means there will be less clothing donated to thrift stores which will drastically effect how they dress.

There will be less high end coffee bought...This means that Coffee Houses may start charging more for the low end stuff and putting restrictions on refills, What will yo do?

Free Wifi will become a thing of the past.........This will eliminate half of the crappy blogs on the internet because we all know that hipsters can't pay for their own internet.

People with good work ethic will be laid off. This means that you can no longer do a half ass job and expect to keep it. You will be one step closer to trading in your Hot Coffee for a cup of Hot Soup at the City Union Mission.

New Car sales will drop and people will hold onto their cars longer. Now you are really screwed, because you can't afford a new car and with a limited supply of used cars you can expect those prices to rise as well. Welcome to a life of bus riding and hitch hiking.

People will no longer be able to afford expensive groceries. This means that places like whole foods will become a thing of the past. There go your Wheat Grass shots.

These are just a few examples of how the recession will make the emo coffee house hipster a thing of the past. But at least you voted for a guy that has no experience in the White House to preserve your lifestyle. HAHAHAHAHAHA