Thursday, January 15, 2009
QUICK HITS
These are the best stories on the internet today (so far). Any other stories that you have read up to this point suck. You should be ashamed of yourself for wasting your time reading them and trying to understand them without my help.
1. The KCMO school board takes 1.4 million dollars away from students because of their stupidity.
2. The worlds biggest badminton fan is dead.
3. Good news for Reality TV fans. If things keep up down in Mexico we could soon be watching a civil war. There hasn't been anything good on TV since we destroyed Iraq.
4. News isn't broke. What's broke is old media and the sooner these idiots get with the program the sooner we can stop hearing them cry.
5. The driving force in modern technology is taking 6 months off due to health.
6. Anytime there are monkeys on the loose throwing feces they make the headlines.
7. Reason for death "falling of deck in cold weather". That's a crappy way to go.
8. Hitler saved in Jersey
9. Some people are jealous of attractive women. These people are often other women.
10. I just feel so bad that this oil sheik doesn't get to finish his building.
HILLBILLIES FIND TOOTH BRUSH
Those of us in JOCO can breath a sigh of relief. It appears that the hillbillies surrounding the great county of JO have learned how to use a toothbrush. Congrats and Thank You. Before you know it you will be moving out of your sod houses and branching out your family tree.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
SLUTISM STUDIES
Here is another example of our government wasting money on unimportant research projects. Researchers have determined that high levels of estrogen can make you a slut. Didn't we know this all ready? Let me save you a couple billion dollars and expand on your research.
1. Booze
2. Daddy Issues
3. Low Self Esteem
4. Narcotics
5. Price of batteries
6. Jealousy of Friends
7. Genetics - If your mom was a slut chances are that you will be a slut
Thes are few more things that increase slutism in women.
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