Showing posts with label boy scouts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boy scouts. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

THE WIRE


Let's see what crimes were committed the past two days in the name of the "poor economy".

1. You know this guy will be the most feared guy in prison. "What are you in for?"; "Stealing clothes from women"; "No crap?"; "Eassssssst side BEYOTCH!"

2. Raytowna Beach suffers robberies from it's upscale shopping areas.............

3. Hispanic on Hispanic crime is on the rise in Olathe. I dream of a day in which Olathe is annexed by WYCO and we can rid ourselves of their crime stats.

4. Once they started taking our tax dollars the banks of the United States became fair game. If you pay taxes, robbing a bank has suddenly become a different way to withdraw your money.

5. KCMO cops have no aim. No wonder murderers aren't afraid of them.

6. This guys Eagle Scout project was off the hook.

Monday, September 08, 2008

EAST SIDE MERIT BADGES


This past week we attended the open house for our oldest daughters school. I am truly amazed at the Blue Valley school district and all of the programs they offer, one of which was Boy Scouts. As I was looking through all of the stuff I became very thankful that I have the opportunity to give my kids a decent education and to get them involved with as many activities as they would like.

At the same time I was thinking the thought of an East Side KCMO Boy Scout troop cracked me up. Can you imagine being a Boy Scout in the East Side? From there I began to think of how one would have to adapt the scouting program to fit the East Side environment and I came up with a list of merit badges that every kid needs to survive in the East side.

Here are 20 actual merit badges that I have altered to better assist the poor bastards in the East Side. After all, everyone should have a chance to become a scout.

1. Fire Starting - How to set a vacant on fire

2. Ghetto Survival (formerly Nature Survival)- Spend the night alone on Prospect with nothing but a dime bag and .22

3. Orienteering - Ability to navigate through gang territories without getting shot

4. Cooking - The art of frying bologna and cooking "lake trout"

5. Environmental Science - Recycling of shell casings and catching of stray dogs.

6. First Aid - Treatment of gunshot and knife wounds. The art of driving yourself to the hospital when shot.

7. Shooting - Both Drive and walk by shootings will be taught.

8. Family life - How to survive with no father in the household while being a welfare recipient.

9. Auto Mechanics - Learn everything from hot wiring a car to putting spinners on a pinto.

10. Entrepreneurship - Ability to set up a drug corner, employ a staff of lookouts and runners while turning a 100% profit.

11. Graphic Art - Spray painting of overpasses, street signs, sides of buildings and rail road cars.

12. American Culture - Get brainwashed into believing that the "white man" hates you.

13. Dentistry - How to make your own platinum grill.

14. Disability Awareness - How to claim Social Security before the age of 21

15. Electronics - What to steal and what to leave.

16. Electricity - How to light a house from the neighbors outlet and how to hide the extension cords.

17. Lifesaving - This will be replaced with Life Taking.

18. Metal work - How to construct your own shank

19. Plant Science - Growing your own weed

20. Crime Prevention - Stop Snitchin

I can't wait to see the KCMO school district implement this!