ARE YOU GOING TO DIE?

This so called Death Map will tell you what your chances of dying are based off of where you live. I have to believe that the East Side of KCMO is deadlier than a hurricane or tornado.

WAY TO GO ROGER

It seems like anyone and everything associated with Roger Clemens his year has turned to crap. Now it turn out that Mindy McCready has attempted to kill herself due to it being leaked that Roger cheated on his wife with her when she was 16 years old.

THE JOCOSOB WORST PERSON OF THE YEAR

For being more liberal than most liberals
For not having the right strategy for Iraq
For not being able to catch Bin Laden in 7 years
For pushing our country into socialism
For reaching across the aisle and not getting anything in return
For doing such a piss poor job than an idiot with no experience seemed capable of taking his place
For being unmotivating and reactionary
For letting me down.

FREAKING FUNNY

The smoking gun has put out its 2008 mugshots of the year. These are awesome!

THE JOCOSOB PERSON OF THE YEAR

General Petraeus. He won a war, not an election.

QUICK HITS

Top 10 stories that well informed JOCOIANS should be reading today.

1. Pretty soon you will have to pay a tax if you take more than one dump a day in NYC.
2. Is Steve Jobs sick? IPOD owners every where need to keep an eye on this guys health.

3. Bush tries to defend his leap into socialism.
4. Yet another Obama associate is heading into legal problems. This time it couldn't of happened to a more deserving guy.

5. Woman PTA leader caught banging 13 year old boy in the back of her car. IN THE SCHOOL PARKING LOT!

6. Isn't it great that our government is giving the title CZAR to posts in charge of segments of our economy?

7. What kind of sick parents would name their kid ADOLPH HITLER?

8. I still remember watching this made for tv movie when I was kid and it has scared me ever since. I hope that this is really the guy and it brings closure for the family.

9. Arabs to cut oil production in an effort to screw you at the pump.

10. Time says that Obama is the Person of the year. BIG F'n SURPRISE!

WEDNESDAYS WITH DR. SOB

Due to the overwhelming response to last weeks section on sex articles in the news I have decided to make this a weekly section of the blog.

1. It turns out that teens teaching other teens about sex was a bad idea. Slutty teens will now have to find other ways to work on their leadership skills.

2. Sex takes 2nd behind the internet. What they didn't ask is if they would choose sex or Internet without porn....

3. Celebrate the birth of Christ with sex.

4. Heidi Klum discusses how she gets her self in the mood........

5. When is it considered cheating? Didn't we get all of these answers from "Road Trip"?

6. Did you know that NYC has a museum of sex?
7. Creepy trends in Techy Sex products.

8. "Sex workers rights"??????? Good lord.

9. Ten worst sex tips given by Cosmo

10. The easiest article to write I have ever seen on the internet "men like lingerie"

HELP KC'S UGLY WOMEN THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

Be sure to nominate the fugly chick in your office and help brighten up your Christmas. This event will take place on Dec. 21st so get your nominations in now.

THE WIRE

1. Getting shot in KCMO is so common nowadays that it isn't even the lead in this story. Instead the fact that the gurney broke took the headlines.

2. The best football player in the State of Kansas (not residing in Lawrence) is about to say good by.

3. Yet another untrustworthy lawyer.

SANTA VS JESUS