Tuesday, May 05, 2009

GUEST POSTER - AKIRA


I hope that you gamers out there enjoy the new video game review section. I have known Akira for nearly 2 years now and despite that I asked him to help out with some content for this blog. This guy knows his crap when it comes to Video Games and if he says it is a good game then chances are it is.
Enjoy,

JOCO SOB


Hey there interwebs, Akira here by command of the great JOCOSOB. Today I'm get to review a great game for you guys Left4Dead. You might have guess from the title that this is a zombie game. Where you have been “left for dead” against the zombie hordes that now infest the world because you were lucky enough to be immune to the zombie virus. Lucky you.

This is a first person shooter, that can be played by yourself, split screen co-op or up to 4 people online. And the online is where this game shines the most but why? Because the none player characters are no way as smart or fun as our friends...well most our friends that is. >.> You can play online with random people but some may not use mikes and other may just be screwing around and mess up your experience. So if you can find some friends to play it will enrich you time with this game.

Now getting on to more of the game there are 4 different survivors that you can choose to be. And you take them through 4 different stages that are each set up as a separate movie. As you and your team fight off the zombies or normal infected you will also be randomly jumped by special infected who have special traits to make your already bad day go to worse.

There 5 of these starting with the Boomer which is a blob of a zombie the if close enough to you will vomit upon you attracting all zombies in the area to you as well as exploding when shot. Next is one with a wicked tong called Smoker, called so because when you kill him it fills the area with smoke. He will try to ambush you by grabbing one of the team with his tong and dragging them off to be constricted by his tong or crushed against whatever you get stuck on. Next is the Hunter who will jump upon his victim and claw them to death. Very quick and agile. Next is the Tank. This fella here is a royal pain in the butt to bring down. He will try to smash you team with his fist or by throwing boulders at you. The whole team must work together to bring this behemoth down. Next is the Witch. Now the witch is a little different then the other special infected in that she is not hunting you but rather randomly in your path. Which means you can most of the time avoid fighting her completely. But should you be unfortunate enough to grab her attention she will attack whoever startled her and kill them quickly so the team must again come together to stop her.

Now your thinking well that's not so bad just learn where there at on a stage and be ready for them. Well normally that would work except this game brings a great mechanic that all the zombies are randomly placed on the stage every time. So you will never play the same stage twice. Adding greatly to the replay value of this game. They use music to let you know when and which special infected is upon you. Graphics are ok running from Valves engine. This game is rated mature in case you didn't notice. So that means not meant for kids so parents do us all a favor and know what your kids are playing for gods sake. O.o

So the final line I give this game an 8.5 out of 10.

And the way this worlds going we need to start preparing for the zombie apocalypse. So when it finally happens the rest of the world will lose there minds and we will be like “no big deal, I kill these things all the time”. JOCOSOB let me know when the zombies start huh.

jamie lynn sigler PICS





BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!! not really



"WHITE HOUSE LOVES MSNBC"
Everyone loves Groupies

QUESTION

Are people from Laos called Lice?

Monday, May 04, 2009

jeanie garth

COBRA KAI



I am going to take a break from politics for a moment so that we can discuss the biggest hoax in movie history. We all know the story of the poor ghetto kid from Jersey that moved to California and got his ass kicked everyday by the local "popular" kids right? Most of you probably felt sorry for him and rooted for him through out the movie. Have you asked yourself why?

Lets look at the situation without the Hollywood slant. Here is Johnny and his buddies minding their own business, practicing their karate, riding their dirt bikes and dating the hottest chicks in school. They all come from good families and live in nice neighborhoods etc..

Daniel Larusso is poor, from a broken home, has no skills, no future and no friends and they had to move from Newark to Cali so that his mom could take a temp job. We also know after watching the movie that he is a liar and will say anything and everything to try and make friends with chicks and old asain pedos.

So why did Hollywood make this Daniel (if that is his real name) into some sad character that we should root for? If you ask me they should of ended the movie with Daniel getting his leg sweeped and crying back in the locker room while smoking crack.

PIG FLU DRAMA


1000 PEOPLE WORLD WIDE HAVE IT. You would need a super computer to calculate what percentage of the worlds population that is. Makes you wonder what is really going on right? What is this diverting our attentions from because there is no other reason that this story is getting the coverage it has been given.

Yes the conspiracy theories can start........NOW.

NUMB TO METRO MURDERS?


It seems that murders in KCMO are becoming so common that people have actually stopped caring. Over the past 3 weeks I have been discussing crime in KCMO with some business leaders and the response I have gotten is "I have stopped watching the news due to it" or " I have lost track". I believe that this is due to the lack of emotional attatchment that most people have to this type of violence. Lets face it the idea of your house getting shot up or getting shot at a suburb park are slim to none. So how can you relate?

Well I just read this story about a young 17 year old that was shot execution style by blood gang members. This murder happened to get caught by security cameras and the still have been released to the press. Remember while you are looking at the pictures and reading the article that the man killed was a young father.

Maybe this will wake your ass's up.

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SUCKS


I tried to come up with a better title for this post but couldn't find one because the party does suck. "Time to leave Reagan behind"?? Are you kidding me? Why in the hell would conservatives ever listen to a politician named Bush again? Bother Father and son have done more damage to the conservative movement than freaking George Soros!

Jeb, please go home

Sunday, May 03, 2009

THE WIRE - WELCOME BACK


I knew that you guys had it in you and knew that once the weather cleared up we would be back on track. And what a way to get back on track! 5 shooting in one night! Way to go!

GRANDVIEW CITIZENS BE AFRAID


I am not sure if everyone in the metro knows this BUT on Sunday afternoons it at "The View" community center in Grandview there is a gathering of some of the biggest losers in the Metro. I heard about this place today and had to drive by just to make sure I wasnt being lied to because I didn't believe that this was happening.

It turns out that on Sundays 100's of douche bags dress up and have midevil battle reenactments. I nearly pissed my pants laughing when I saw this. They were all dressed up and chasing eachother with their pretend swords while their "wenches" looked on. This is no lie.

So if you need a great freaking laugh be sure to drive by this on a Sunday of your choice. I have been told that this happens every week rain or shine.


NEW GLOBAL WARMING LINGO