PIMPIN AIN'T EASY

Just ask these broads.

RODNEY CARRINGTON - WAL MART

QUICK HITS

These are the best stories on the internet today (so far). Any other stories that you have read up to this point suck. You should be ashamed of yourself for wasting your time reading them and trying to understand them without my help.

1. The KCMO school board takes 1.4 million dollars away from students because of their stupidity.

2. The worlds biggest badminton fan is dead.
3. Good news for Reality TV fans. If things keep up down in Mexico we could soon be watching a civil war. There hasn't been anything good on TV since we destroyed Iraq.

4. News isn't broke. What's broke is old media and the sooner these idiots get with the program the sooner we can stop hearing them cry.

5. The driving force in modern technology is taking 6 months off due to health.

6. Anytime there are monkeys on the loose throwing feces they make the headlines.

7. Reason for death "falling of deck in cold weather". That's a crappy way to go.

8. Hitler saved in Jersey

9. Some people are jealous of attractive women. These people are often other women.

10. I just feel so bad that this oil sheik doesn't get to finish his building.

THANK YOU ISRAEL

Did anyone else chuckle and cheer when they learned that Israel shelled the UN?

HILLBILLIES FIND TOOTH BRUSH

Those of us in JOCO can breath a sigh of relief. It appears that the hillbillies surrounding the great county of JO have learned how to use a toothbrush. Congrats and Thank You. Before you know it you will be moving out of your sod houses and branching out your family tree.

THE DEATH OF KHAN

I don't believe he is dead. I think he will come back in a couple years as a sequel.

SLUTISM STUDIES

Here is another example of our government wasting money on unimportant research projects. Researchers have determined that high levels of estrogen can make you a slut. Didn't we know this all ready? Let me save you a couple billion dollars and expand on your research.

1. Booze
2. Daddy Issues
3. Low Self Esteem
4. Narcotics
5. Price of batteries
6. Jealousy of Friends
7. Genetics - If your mom was a slut chances are that you will be a slut

Thes are few more things that increase slutism in women.

LINK FIXED

QUICK HITS

A wide variety of stories that you need to read today.

1. Teenage girls that take pictures of themselves can be charged with child porn...No word on the rumor that those caught masturbating will be charged with raping themselves.

2. Is it really news that Bin Laden dislikes Israel?

3. Pelosi blames Bush for the last 350 and promises that this 350 will be spent better. Does anyone trust this chick?

4. If women can smell this then we might as well stop blaming the dog for other smells.

5. Saudi child rape continues.
6. Hollywood Elitist refuses to turn himself in for Rape Charges. Typical.

7. Whatever happened to the phrase "bag it before you nab it" ? Get with it you STD ridden bastards.

8. Metro residents can now watch as weather people over react to the temperature outside.

9. Kansas coeds beware. There is a rapist going between KU and that ag school down the road.

10. Law passed in 2005 could be to blame for our economic crap hole.

“It was only a matter of time before we had our first gay superhero"

Not that there is anything wrong with that.......

ANOTHER, KCMO NEVER LETS ME DOWN.

My favorite story in the star today is regarding KCMO parks. It seems that the bright people that sit on the park board want to regulate the air in and around the park asap.

Keep in mind that some of these same KCMO parks are home to drug dealings, gang shoot outs, body dumping, sex and unkept.

I would like to thank the brilliant people of KCMO for once again not letting me down That's right they want to ban you from smoking outside in fresh air.

BETTER THAN CAREER BUILDER?

It appears that the State of Washington has solved its teaching shortage.

DID COWS & PIGS BECOME EXTINCT?

I never thought I would see the day that there was an actual market for raccoon meat in the metro area, I guess I was wrong.



Eating Raccoons should be restricted to Nuclear Holocaust and Road Warrior movies. We aren't freaking settlers exploring the wild west here. The last time I checked we could still purchase meat at the grocery store. Hell even KCMO residents can now purchase prekilled and cut meat from the butcher.

QUICK HITS

READ THIS AND PRETEND TO BE WELL ROUNDED


1. Officer that replied "NUTS" to the Germans at the Battle of the Bulge is dead. For those of you in KCMO it's the saying that got Jericho back on last season.

2. Mouthwash found to be a cause of Oral Cancer. Doesn't everything cause cancer?

3. Our foreign policy is screwed if we are counting on Hillary Clinton for "Smart Power"

4. I don't know who this guys lawyer is but don't you think it would be a good idea to help with the search of your missing wife? That's like OJ putting on a glove that fit.

5. The going rate for a 14 year old girl in California is 16k, 100 cases of beer and some steaks. Father of the year material. That's less than Michael Jackson ended up paying for boys...

6. Doesn't this article describe what men have said about their wives for years????????????

7. Cemetery business in Gaza is booming

8. Can someone tell me what lighting of candles does for a missing person? Instead of standing around lighting candles you need to be searching 24/7.

9. Kansans get additional tools to fend of Missouri Scum.

10. Douchebaggery takes full effect in the Metro.

TUCKER TUESDAYS???

Maybe, The Leary stuff is over.

THE NAACP IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR A QUICK LAUGH

The Alabama NAACP is claiming that dresses worn in Inaugural Parade promote racism. It is this type of crap that makes the NAACP loose credibility.


Not to go all Allen Iverson on you but DRESSES? ARE WE TALKING ABOUT DRESSES? DRESSES? COME ON, DRESSES?