THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH

I am typing this from my backup laptop due to the recent failure of the Sony Vaio. I am not sure how it happened or why a laptop that is seldom used and only a year old died on me. Is this a plot by the left to keep me down? Are KCMO residents trying to silence me? Did Omega Man use a gamma ray to wipe out my system start up? Probably not. This conspiracy is bigger than that. It involves a billionaire and a company that can't produce a single decent piece of software.

Mr. Gates,
I would like to thank you for designing software (Vista) that is so ineffective that it can render a $1000 worth of hardware useless. I know that a $1000 isn't much to a billionaire but for a middle class jocoian with a family of 4 it is a huge amount. Could you please send me a refund for the laptop that your company destroyed? I am not asking for anything above what I had, just a machine that works.
Thank you,
JOCO SOB

P.S. Take your Vista operating system and shove it up your white pasty ass. You my friend might be the biggest douche bag to walk the face of the earth. Who the hell else would release an operating system that crashes more than a blind person driving a stick shift? Thank you for ruining my holiday season you POS.

1 YEAR

I had an emailer inform me(thank you) that I have come to the One year anniversary of my blog (in its current format). When I started this thing I told myself that I would do it for a year and see what happens. True to my word I will now spend the next 4 days deciding whether or not to keep JOCO SOB open or simply go elsewhere.

IN THE SPIRIT OF EQUALITY

People often ask me why does a conservative such as myself read Tony's Kansas City and why don't I use this platform to bash him and counter his points everyday. I tell them that my blog is about tackling ideas, not people and being as tounge and cheek as possible unless those people themselves become newsworthy. I like his blog and the majority of his takes. Life would be boring if we all had the same point of view.

Today Tony posted a link on his blog about my take about Jackson County being a racist county and that JOCO is an inclusive community full of prosperity for all those inside. Inside the comments section was one of the most idiotic comments I have ever read regarding JOCO "elititst". The hate that people have in KCMO for JOCO is pretty funny when you think about it.

Here they are living in one of the most racist counties in the midwest, the schools suck, mayor sucks, infrastructure sucks, crime rate sucks, tax base sucks etc... and they are more concerned about JOCO than their own hood. Maybe that is the problem? Instead of blaming a county and its residents that aren't even in the same state as yours it might be beneficial to fix the glass in your house before trying to throw stones. YOU made your problems, not us.

Trust me, if JOCO was as jacked up as KCMO I wouldn't be bitching about KCMO residents.

QUICK HITS

TEN STORIES that thankful Jocoians should read this holiday season.

1. Craigslist can be a good place to trick attractive women into stripping for you, for free!

2. Is there an area in which KCMO is doing well? The services over there sucked before so I can only imagine how bad they will be now that they are going to be cut and under funded.

3. If you want job security you should become a mortician in KCMO.

4. Thanksgiving is under attack in Cali

5. If it weren't for THE OFFICE would anyone notice if NBC went out of business?
6. Man rapes daughter for 30 years and fathers his own grandchildren through her. This sick twisted piece of crap needs to be tortured in ways that I can't even describe.

7. Brittney Spears talks about how she feels.

8. Government run health care is under investigation for the death of a 28 year old woman weighing under 50lbs. You gotta love how the government takes care of people.

9. Former First lady goes to the ER.

10. When the hell did we start having "word of the year"?

CHAPPELLE ON INDIANS

The greatest philosopher of our time.

THE WIRE

There is a good chance that the blog will be closed tomorrow to celebrate the exploitation of Native Americans by eating some Turkey and watching football. So I call on all local bloggers that cover crime in the Metro to give thanks to the murderers, carjackers, gangters, kingpins, pushers, pimps and hoes that have given us such wonderful material this year. With out the ignorance and lack of human decency that these folks have our post numbers surely wouldn't be what they are today.

In the Spirint of the holiday season I would like to give you this holiday quote to ponder this season. "Everytime a body drops a blogger gets a new visitor".

1. 50 year old man gets killed in the hood.

2. Dead man found in KCK parking lot.

3. Human Carving on Wabash.

4. KCK Gas Station Robbed.

THE PLOG HAS BEEN ON FIRE LATELY

Check out the recent story regarding the demise of the East Sides Crime fighter. On a side note, those of you wanting autographed SOB MAN action figures feel free to shoot me an email and I will try to get those out to you as soon as possible.