LEARY TUESDAYS

LEARY TUESDAYS

END JOCO ELITISM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can not take the elitist attitude that one JOCO blog has been demonstrating. If you follow my friend in blogging SOJOCO's blog you will notice that he has started a new weekly wine segment. His wine selections are obviously geared toward rich, white jocoians but what about the rest of the metro?

Well I am here to let you know that not all JOCOIANS are white elitist yuppies. In the spirit of the holidays I am going to provide those of you in KCK & KCMO with some fine wine ideas that you might be able to afford.

1. Wild Irish Rose
2. Cisco
3. Nighttrain
4. Thunderbird.

Here is a great website to help you with your wine selections. Good luck and Happy Holidays from your one true friend in JOCO.

THE KCMO CHRISTMAS CD

Coming soon to a JOCO retailer near you a new Christmas Classic brought to you by SOB Productions.

A VERY MERRY KCMO CHRISTMAS

1. The 12 months of Funkhouser

2. How the Squit stole Christmas

3. All I want for Christmas is my GED

4. Little Gunner Boy

5. I saw mommy getting pimped by Santa

6. Frosty the Dope Man

7. Rudolph the Red Nosed Drunk

8. The NAACP ain't coming to town

9. I'll be home for Chirstmas ( in 10-20 years)

10. Silver Glocks

11. White City Hall - A Squitiro Solo

12. KCMO got run over by Cordish Group

13. Have yourself an unaccredited education

14. Rocking around a stolen Christmas Tree

15. The night before depositions

16. Hark the Narc and let bullets ring

17. Santa Clause got stabbed walking through town.

18. Wheres the blow, wheres the blow, wheres the blow

CARRIE UNDERWOOD FOR CHRISTMAS

I got sick of seeing the mayors uglier half at the top of my blog.

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME - CHRISTMAS EDITION

This is the revised version of last years list.

1. Seeing 8 checkout lanes void from a cashier while you wait in a line 10 deep. What makes this even better is when you see 5 or 6 employees of the store standing around customer service chatting. You have two things to do. Scan items, collect money. that is all there is to it and you CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!

2. The jackass that follows you to your car in order to take your spot when you leave. This happened to me last week and I simply started my car, turned it back off and walked back into the store. The look on the guys face was priceless.

3. Special Buys. What a scam this is. In the fine print of the ad you will see the words limited quantity or only 7 per store. They do this to lure you into their store and switch you onto a more expensive product.

4. Blue Christmas lights. Why even bother? These are the ugliest lights on the planet (icicles from the gutters are a close 2nd). I have never met anyone that likes seeing those hideous things.

5. Drooping Christmas lights. If you are going to go to the effort of hanging them up make them straight. Nothing says WT more than drooping lights.

6. $10 gift cards. Really, what the hell are you suppose to purchase for $10, batteries. There is nothing wrong with a gift that costs $10 it shows that you put some thought and effort into it, This says that I didn't want to spend anytime shopping for you at all.

7. Holiday office parties - Nothing says Christmas like getting together with people that you see 50 hours a week, every week for a Dinner. Really, do we need to see these people after hours as well just because it is Christmas? Nobody I have asked this year likes these things yet they occur every damn year.

8. Traffic - This really needs no explanation.

9. People wishing me a happy holiday. Just say MERRY CHRISTMAS! Why the hell do we have to use code to speak of a holiday? Do I really need to have a Navajo Indian with me in order to speak at Christmas Time.

10. The Mayors Christmas Tree - This has become a joke. This guy is terrible at amaking choices. Two examples, his wife and the Christmas Tree.

11. Stores that advertise the Mail in Rebate price as opposed to the actual price. Anyone that has ever gone through the mail in rebate process understands that it is a hoax. Why do you have to wait 6 months to get $40? Microcenter is notorious for this.

12. Live Nativity Scenes. Does acting out a scene of the bible make you more religious than the next guy? If I wanted to see homeless people I would cross the state line.

13. Lazy Bell Ringers - I know that your job sucks but you could at least put some effort into it. You are competing for my change with the next charity, act like you want my quarter.

14. Crappy Holiday shows - Network execs think that we will watch anything that has Christmas in it. They will take C level sitcom stars from the 80's and put them on a set with snow, presents, a Christmas tree and some struggle and expect us to watch it. Christmas shows that were on TV USE TO BE GOOD. WTF HAPPENED.

15. Atheist - Don't ruin our holiday just because you are going to hell. Also, don't protest our holiday and except a gift from us you damn heathens.

16. Pop Star Christmas music

17. Christmas Clothing - This is some of the ugliest crap I have ever seen.

18. People that attend the Plaza Lighting ceremony - I guess I am missing it here, do the lights look different on Thanksgiving than they do on December 14th?

19. People that say that Christmas lights are bad for the environment.

20. Drawing names for gifts - This is a scam to ensure that unpopular and mean people get gifts at the office etc....

21. Stories on the homeless - Christmas seems to remind the media that they need to run specials on the homeless. It seems that the only day of the year they really need us is December 25th.

22. The exploitation of Snowmen and Reindeer on TV. Do we really need 5 frosty sequels and 3 Rudolph sequels?

More to come I am sure.................

ACHMED WISHES YOU A BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS

QUICK HITS

1. Religious leaders capture the true meaning of Christmas.
2. The only cat worst than mine? At least this cat killed its owners quickly. My cat has been slowly going at it for the past 12 years.
3. A girl with half of a brain recently learned to walk. Is this news? I know girls that have half a brain that have been walking for years.
4. Huckabee continues to prove that he is nothing more than a bible thumper in this election. Good job Mike, keep up the good work.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT CHRISTMAS

In no order

1. Putting up the Christmas tree - This year due to weather we bought a fake tree and it wasn't the same. Nothing beats driving to the Christmas tree farm and cutting down your own.
2. Egg Nog - I love it, the wife hates it (how is that possible).
3. Shopping - I dig Christmas shopping more than anything. The busier the better. From the search of the perfect parking spot to the hunt for the best deal, it doesn't get any better.
4. My kids - There is nothing better than seeing the looks on the faces of my children when they wake up Christmas morning and see mountains of presents waiting to be opened.
5. Family - It use to be that the only time that we would all see each other was Thanksgiving and Christmas so it was great to catch up with everyone. I have gone out of my way to put together enough family BBQ's (usually once a month) so that we don't have to wait as long.
6. Christmas Movies & Cartoons.
7. Christmas Music - I don't need 300 days of it but for 2 weeks that is all I listen to.
8. Christmas Lights
9. Santa Clause - You gotta love the big guy.
10. Giving gifts - We tend to go overboard no matter what we can afford. To me it is important to give at Christmas.
11. Helping others - We typically adopt a family at Christmas and ensure that they can provide a good Christmas for their kids. This year we kept it in house and gave to family members that needed it more.
12. My wife - God bless her soul for all that she does this time of year in order for us all to have a great Christmas. From the shopping, Christmas cards, making of stockings etc... I couldn't do it without her. Love ya honey!
13, Time off from work - This year I have 12 days off (Bridget had 14 and reminds me that she has more than me everyday) and I plan on filling it full of family events.
14. Food - This is the best time of year for food (non BBQ). Candy, Turkey, Pies, Cookies etc...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

LEROY THE REDNECK REINDEER

A HOLIDAY CLASSIC

CARRIE UNDERWOOD WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

WHAT A GREAT VOICE

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM THE GRISWOLD FAMILY

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME - CHRISTMAS EDITTION

1. Seeing 8 checkout lanes void from a cashier while you wait in a line 10 deep. What makes this even better is when you see 5 or 6 employees of the store standing around customer service chatting. You have two things to do. Scan items, collect money. that is all there is to it and you CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!
2. The jackass that follows you to your car in order to take your spot when you leave. This happened to me last week and I simply started my car, turned it back off and walked back into the store. The look on the guys face was priceless.
3. Special Buys. What a scam this is. In the fine print of the ad you will see the words limited quantity or only 7 per store. They do this to lure you into their store and switch you onto a more expensive product.
4. Blue Christmas lights. Why even bother? These are the ugliest lights on the planet (icicles from the gutters are a close 2nd). I have never met anyone that likes seeing those hideous things.
5. Drooping Christmas lights. If you are going to go to the effort of hanging them up make them straight. Nothing says WT more than drooping lights.
6. $10 gift cards. Really, what the hell are you suppose to purchase for $10, batteries. There is nothing wrong with a gift that costs $10 it shows that you put some thought and effort into it, This says that I didn't want to spend anytime shopping for you at all.
7. Holiday office parties - Nothing says Christmas like getting together with people that you see 50 hours a week, every week for a Dinner. Really, do we need to see these people after hours as well just because it is Christmas? Nobody I have asked this year likes these things yet they occur every damn year.
8. Traffic - This really needs no explanation. We live next to Oak Park Mall, Kohls, Best Buy etc.. so crossing Quivira is impossible. It amazes me how many people are out shopping when the majority of the gifts given are gift cards.
9. People wishing me a happy holiday. Just say MERRY CHRISTMAS! Why the hell do we have to use code to speak of a holiday? Do I really need to have a Navajo Indian with me in order to speak at Christmas Time.
10. The writers strike has ruined what has always been a great tradition, Christmas episodes of TV shows. "The Office" Christmas episodes were becoming instant classics but in its place we now get to watch some crappy game show. UNIONS SUCK!
11. Stores that advertise the Mail in Rebate price as opposed to the actual price. Anyone that has ever gone through the mail in rebate process understands that it is a hoax. Why do you have to wait 6 months to get $40? Microcenter is notorious for this.

MR, HANKY WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

HAPPY TREE FRIENDS WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

FREAKING HILARIOUS!

TOP 20 HOLIDAY MOVIES/CARTOONS

IN NO ORDER

1. CHRISTMAS VACATION
2. A CHRISTMAS STORY
3. A CHRISTMAS CAROL
4. SCROOGED
5. CHARLIE BROWNS CHRISTMAS
6 RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
7. FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
8. MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET
9. HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
10. THE SANTA CLAUSE
11. MR. MAGOOS CHRISTMAS
12. MICKEYS CHRISTMAS CAROL
13. NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
14. THE FAMILY MAN
15. ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE
16. EMMIT OTTERS JUG BAND CHRISTMAS
17. ELF
18. POLAR EXPRESS
19. THE REF
20. HOME ALONE

MUST DO'S FOR THE HOLIDAY

There is so much to do during the holidays and usually on December 27th I am kicking myself for forgetting something. Not this year. In the Spirit of Clark Griswold I will get it all in.

1. Plaza Lights
2. Mayors Christmas tree ( or twig this year)
3. Put up Christmas Lights
4. Decorate the inside of the house
5. Get a Christmas tree
6. Candy Cane Lane-lights
7. House with stuff on the roof-lights
8. Wornall Homes- lights
9. Olathe housing development-lights
10. Mission Hills-lights
11. Santa at the Mall
12. Holiday Family Pictures
13. Shopping - Downtown Lawrence
14. Mall Shopping - Weekend before Christmas
15. Christmas cookies
16. Night out on the Plaza with the wife
17. Sledding
18. Reading "Night before Christmas"
19. Decorate Christmas tree
20. Find a Charity to adopt a family
21. See A Christmas Carol LIVE!

Even now I think I am forgetting something.

WHO HAS A BETTER CHRISTMAS TREE THAN KC?

THIS GUY

Today I drove through Crown Center because I had not seen the Mayors Christmas Tree yet and when I got there I couldn't believe my eyes, THE TREE SUCKS! I was afraid to take a picture of it because I thought the flash might catch the thing on fire. What a freaking embarrassment.

XM CHRISTMAS MUSIC CHANNEL LIST 201

For those of you not living in the Stone Age that have XM radio here is the channel list for their Christmas music UPDATED DEC 11 2010

On now

Holiday Season. They will be Holly on XM Channel 23, Holiday Traditions on Channel 4, Holiday Pops on Channel 77. Country Christmas on Channel 10, and Radio Hannukah on 28.

HOLIDAY WINE SHOPPING GUIDE

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