GET IT TOGETHER GROUCH

THE NEWS SUCKS TODAY

What a boring ass day for "real news" today. Sure I could post a bunch of stories with different angles on the same crap that happened over the weekend, but why do that? Instead the blog content for today will be completely random crap that I find that seems either funny or interesting,

For those of you that read this blog from the JOCO metro area do not forget that KCMO still sucks, Independence is full of meth and KCK is the gutter of all existence. You will more than likely get killed or robbed entering any of the places mentioned above so procede with caution. Just because there is no morning WIRE post do not let your gaurd down.

I will take a look around the internet again this afternoon/evening to see if anything is worth a damn then.

QUICK HITS - MOST OF THE INTERNET SUCKS

Another Monday is about to come and go and thanks to me you are all just a little bit smarter than you were yesterday. When we live in the crap storm that we live in now, the best distraction is humor. Just today I went through somebody elses blog list and laughed my ass off at the garbage that is out there. Be thankful that you have found me, seriously, most of the rest of the crap on the internet sucks.

Do yourself a favor and follow the blogs to the right of this screen and delete the rest of your bookmarks.

1. Cloning will not occur on Obamas watch. I call BS on this, you know that by the end of the year Obama will have a midget clone of Rev Wright running around the White House.

2. Something tells me that Houston, Texas might not be the best place to visit right now.

3. Utah will soon be full of drunk mormons.

4. Our "friends" the Saudis are getting ready to beat the crap out of a 75 year old woman for eating bread from strangers.

5. Pirate museum opens in North Carolina....

6. AWESOME! Russian dude dies after eating 43 pies. That my friends is a great headline.

7. Are Vampires Real?

8. If the world bank is so freaking smart then how come they didn't predict the crap hole that we are in now?

9. Worlds of Crap in Kansas City is up for sale. This could be the worst theme park in the country...

10. Who the hell breaks back into jail?

AND THE AWARD FOR SMAKING HO'S GOES TO....

You gotta dig the fact that Nick isn't taking Chris Brown off of their awards show ballots. I also hear that Debra LaFave is up for Nick's Teacher of the year award...

CRACK, COOLIO AND STUPID QUESTIONS

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People have been asking me about this Coolio story all day due to my love of Hip Hop music. The main question seems to be "how could he be so stupid to try and get crack past airport security?"

HE IS ON CRACK!

When was the last time you heard someone do something intelligent after smoking rocks? This isn't rocket science people.

50/50

Those are the odds given by glorified weathermen of us being able to save the planet from man made destruction. There is however a 99% chance that their predictions are wrong.

I for one would like to see Environmental Groups start forming mass suicide cults based off of this news. Think of the "carbon gas" that we could cut if all these wackos were gone? If they truly loved this planet they would gather some cyanide, grape kool aid mix, some sugar and start drinking.

THE WIRE - STEADY MOBBIN'

"its better to be judged by 12 than carried by six" seemed to be the words of the weekend in the news.

1. Friendship Village sounds like a weird place to have a shooting..... That is until you find out it is in KCMO.

2. KCMO violence is starting to spill into the burbs of Mo. This time it was two people shot in Blue Springs.

3. Lawrence, Ks returns back to its thugish ways when two people don't get it their way in a BK parking lot.

4. You know your gangster when you pull a gun on a an old dude that can't leave his bed.

5. KCMO Shooters Hit 4 and kill 2.

6. Independence gets into the game with yet another homicide.

HIP HOP FLASHBACK - FUNK FLEX & BUCKSHOT

HIP HOP FLASHBACK - House of Pain

QUICK HITS - I WILL SAVE THE REPUBLICAN PARTY

I had a dream last night that inolved me walking through America like that dude in Kung Fu spreading the good word of conservatism and crushing pinko commie bastards like grapes.


1. Health Care providers and insures need to be afraid, very afraid.


2. I mentioned this last week but it seems to be picking up some more steam. Emperor Obama doesn't want private citizens to give to charity because it would diminish the governments role of mommy and daddy.


3. How many thousands of dollars is Bama wasitng to trash a radio show host? Is that what this country needs to be spending its time and money on right now?


4. The Central Bank of America refuses to tell us where the money went. I don't understand this at all. It is our money, it is our bank who the Hell are they to tell us NO.


5. If you vacation at a place famous for group sex and nudism what the hell did you expect?


6. Obama gives British Leader a Netflix subscription to show his gratitude toward our greatest friend.


7. WE MUST KILL ALL "BURPING" WORMS TO SAVE THE PLANET! GO NOW AND KILL!


8. The largest employer of KCMOSD Grads is closing its doors for awhile.


9. The Religous Right in Kansas block the selling of real beer in grocery stores etc... Thanks Bastards! I am glad that the government is able to dictate our behaviors once again......


10. Screw it it's too nice out.