I WON THE FREAKING LOTTERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WILL SEE YOU SUCKERS LATER.

All that I have to do is email this dude in Ireland and I get $1.5 million.

QUICK HITS

1. Stiffest crime ever issued for shoplifting. Isn't that what you call it when you don't pay for something that is for sale?

2. KCMO well in front of KCK so far this year in the murder race. Even friends are getting into the act. Way to take one for the team.

3. Kansas City area will no longer have any KY. Gary Lezak could not be reached for comment

4, DEMOCRAT RACISM FINALLY EXPOSED! Grand Wizard Clinton ducks questions.

5. How in the hell do you go from eating humans to vegetarian?

6. Hillary stealing the NH election through fraud is getting some traction from within her own party. When this gathers more steam just remember who predicted it.

7. In Hillary's eyes if you are a woman you are above the law. If you are poor you should take the money from those that work. GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. And yet another candidate for 2nd place in the Parent of the Year award.

INCREDIBLE

It appears that my marriage is based off my wifes need for insurance. Tonight while discussing politics (one of several things we do not agree upon) I asked my wife after hearing her views "Why did you Marry me?" Her response (get out your tissues) "I needed insurance".

She told me this when we did get married as a joke. Little did I know that it was the truth. To this day I am still paying for her insurance.

Let's review

We do not agree on several key political issues.
We do not like the same foods
We do not like the same music
We do not like the same room temperature
We do not like the same clothing styles
We do not like each others haircuts
We do not like the same types of Pets

Funny isn't it? I guess it is true that opposites attract.

UNDECIDED ABOUT WHO SHOULD BE PRES?

TRY THIS LITTLE MATCHMAKER SERVICE.

BAD ASS OF THE 80'S - William Zabka

Over the next several weeks I will be bringing you "Bad Ass's of the 80's". These people have long been overlooked and it is about time they got some credit for their accomplishments.

Today's 80's Bad Ass is William Zabka.

Enemies:
Daniel Larruso - The Karate Kid
Terry Griffith - Just one of the guys
Rick Morehouse - Just one of the guys
Jason Melon - Back to School
Derek - Back to School
Audrey Griswold - European Vacation

Accomplishments:
Swept Daniel Larruso's leg damn near crippling him
Made Jason Melon ( a millionaires son) his towel boy
Dumped Audrey for her hotter friend
Ruled every High School he attended
Leader of the Cobra Kai
Black Belt in Tang Soo Do
Dumped Elisibeth Shue

Signatures
Blond hair flip in the front
Ability to snarl in any situation
Sports Car or Motorcycle
Shirt Collar Popped

QUICK HITS

1. Does Obama really want John Kerry's endorsement?

2. Indians in Wyco's ghetto are ready to start taking scalps/dollars from the inner city tonight.

3. What a crappy way to get busted.

4. The Mafia just isn't what it use to be.

5. The people of Kenya are doomed with this idiot trying to help.

6. What good really do the people at NASA do? Have we been back to the moon? no. Have we been to Mars? no. Instead of doing something with value they sit around and run computer models for their wacko theories.

7. Bush predicts mideast peace. This guy might actually think there are pots of gold at the end of rainbows.

THE INTERNET AS YOU KNOW

Is going to be changing. The brilliant minds at NBC & AT&T want to limit your ability to share files etc.. over the internet which means that they will be playing big brother.

Have they really thought this through? The backlash against them is going to be huge. Who the hell is going to sign up with an ISP that is going to play big brother?

CARRIE UNDERWOOD TICKET PRICES

Holy Crap! Today someone mentioned to me that they dropped 1k on Carrie Underwood tickets. I couldn't believe it.

I had no idea that there was a country concert coming to the Sprint Center and since I had never been to a country concert I figured that I might check out this Underwood gal that everyone keeps talking about. So I go online and I couldn't believe what these things were going for.

THE BEST REMOTE EVER MADE

IF THEY ONLY CAME WITH REMOTES!

A TRUE POLLOCK STORY

This story is to short to post a redirect link so I hope the good people at Yahoo don't shut me down for the cut and past job.

WARSAW (Reuters) - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. Polish tabloid Super Express said the woman had been making some extra money on the side while telling her husband she worked at a store in a nearby town.

"I was dumfounded. I thought I was dreaming," the husband told the newspaper Wednesday.

The couple, married for 14 years, are now divorcing, the newspaper reported.

(Writing by Chris Borowski, Editing by Matthew Jones)

DID THE CLINTONS STEAL THE NH ELECTION

It is worth looking into when you consider the results.

1. Obama had a huge lead well beyond the margin of error going into NH.

2. Higher than expected turnout for a primary.

3. Additional ballots had to be brought in by party leaders.

Now how did those ballots get there, who was in charge of those ballots and were they all eligible to vote?

How does one go from crying one day, to winning the next?

You have to remember that the Clintons have had the party leaders in their pockets for nearly 20 years and have proven to be less than trustworthy.

QUICK HITS

1. Woman demonstrates what a KCMO public school education can do for you. This might be the worst escape plan in KC history.

2. Local microbreweries get kicked in the teeth by Hops shortage. Translation YOUR BEER IS GOING TO COST MORE! For some the choice is going to be hard, gas in the car or beer in the fridge.

3. Cops close the only thriving business in the West Bottoms.

4. Knocked up High School chicks want maternity leave.

5. Finally! We can see the end of inattentive waiters & waitresses that mess up your order, take forever to refill your drink and never bring your check out when you want it.

6. The FBI has time to investigate suicides????????? Give me a freaking break.

7. Yet another Father of the Year candidate. How does someone even think of doing this?

8. After this you can be that the religious Right will soon call for Weekend at Bernies to be removed from the shelves.

Aishwarya Rai PICS

JACK BAUER FACTS

Someone just emailed me this hilarious link.

If you are a fan of 24 this is a must read.

NO CUSSING

The art of cussing is something that was drilled into my brain while I was in the Marine Corp. There isn't a topic, situation or setting(besides in front of my parents) that I do not excel in this area. It appears that my freedom to express myself how & where I want is about to be violated starting in the city of St. Charles, Mo.

"The proposal would ban indecent, profane or obscene language, songs, entertainment and literature."

This country is slowly becoming a country of wussified crybabies.

The people to blame for this are the same idiots that wanted to make everything smoke free. Instead of CHOOSING to go to a smoke free place to eat, shop, talk, drink these people decided to start taking the rights away from those that chose to smoke. I don't smoke but I feel sorry for those that do for having there freedom taken away by big brother and his crybaby little sisters.