LOOKING TO SKIP WORK ON A MONDAY?

If you are looking to squeeze one more excused absence out of your employer for the month of January than might I suggest MLK day. Now this can be a tough one to pull off if you work for a company that doesn't automatically give this day off but I am here to help.

After extensive research (2 minutes) and careful planning (making this up as I go) I have found the perfect event for the average white guy in JOCO to use as his excuse. The MLK program takes place in (are you read) BLUE VALLEY!!!!!!!!!!! No need to drive to the hood, just drive down to 158th street in South OP and enjoy. Too good to be true? That is what I thought as well, but there is more! You can even purchase an event T-Shirt to take back to your boss or wear around your one black friend. There is also rumor of actual african americans attending this event (think photo op).

So this year when you think about Martin Luther King be sure to think Blue Valley because nothing says diversity more than South OP and enjoy your day off.

AMERICAN IDOL CLIFF NOTES

Tonight begins another long journey of American Idol. This show is basically the same every year yet we continue to watch it for some reason.

Things you can count on

1. The hot chick with a so/so voice will advance to the round of 12
2. There will be a contestant with a checkered past.
3. The auditions will be full of ass clowns making fools of themselves to get on TV.
4. Paula will walk out on Simon
5. The celeb judges will think everyone is great
6. The winner will not sell as many albums as the runner up
7. The fat african american chick will have the best voice.
9. The term "pitchy" will be used over 2,000 times.
10. Simon and Ryan will call each other out for being in the closet.
11. At least 15 of the people that audition will cry.
12. The term "fugly" will be used inside viewers homes through out the auditions.
13. There will be 10 stand out performances and the rest will be average.
14. Lounge singer, Cabaret, wedding singer etc... will all be used to describe average performances.
15. They will purposely advance another Sanjaya type.
16. A blond will make it to the final 4
17. There will be at least one guy that is considered "a rocker", one chick that is "alternative", 2 chicks will be labeled "country", etc.....
18. My DVR will not work at least 2 times this season.
19. The media will think that Simon is to mean
20. The finale will be 2 hours long and only 5 minutes will matter.

There now you don't need to watch.

QUICK HITS

1. Bless their little over achieving hearts. Yet another murder in..............KCMO. Maybe the cities plan is to let them kill each other off because whatever they are doing it isn't working.

2. Black male, corruption, political shake downs, sex crimes, secret codes etc.... no I am not talking about The Mafia. I am talking about organized religion. “I am here to raise hell,”.....Good luck to you buddy.

3. Former Mayor Clever compares the Clintons to the KKK. (he must read the blog too)

4. Considering their track record when Bill was in the White House this makes complete sense.

5. This is straight out of the movie Vacation. I wonder if they dragged her dog behind the RV.

6. Just when you think gas prices couldn't get any higher the government approves MORE TAXES ON GASOLINE.

7. KCMO thieves continue to rob stores with no $$$. First Bob Evans and now a freaking Thriftway.

BLUE HARVEST PREVIEW

FAMILY GUY STAR WARS PARODIES

QUICK HITS

1. Anytime Nixa, Mo makes the local news it goes on this blog. Our criminals have no borders and need to leave the fine people of Nixa alone.

2. Thieves rob a Bob Evans???? I am sure that joint was full of cash and well worth the future prison sentence that these morons face. IF you were to rob a local dining establishment wouldn't you choose one that doesn't offer AARP discounts?

3. What does the FBI have against Whitey? Haven't they learned? A strong mob means crime stays organized.

4. Princess Diana a high priced whore. I knew it!!!!!!! You would think that you could find an attractive whore for the price she was going for.

5. Clintons take the leash off of Chelsea but keep her on the farm. I am sure that a twenty something year old girl that has lived in mansions most of her life is well equipped to tell others how to live.

6. FINALLY!!! DRUG TESTING FOR WELFARE MOOCHERS!!!!!!! Time to start selling my urine.

Today is my Nephew's Birthday

Happy Birthday James!

Vanessa Marcil PICS

THINGS OF NOTE

1. Those of you with the History channel need to start watching a series called Gangland. The topics and people covered in this show will open your eyes to crime in our cities. These gangs should be considered terrorist threats to our country and are responsible for thousands of deaths in our country every year.
2. Has there ever in our history been a worst candidate selection for president? I have my favorite but the religious right of my party will oppose him at every stop and push for the nomination of an unelectable bible thumper that will raise my taxes.
   
3. I told my wife that I cut my hand when petting the cat the other day. She asked me how and I told her on the cats bones. This cat weighs maybe 3lbs but will probably out live me.
   
4. The Harley fired up without a problem last weekend. I keep hearing about all of this winter prep stuff that you should do for your bike and after 2 years of not prepping it I have had no problems. I do however need to purchase and install my new handlebars.
5. Why is the newspaper putting videos up on their website? When I click on a link regarding a story I want to read it NOT WATCH IT when I find it on the stars website. If I want video I will go to one of the TV news sites.
   
6. The Mayor of KCMO is a joke. I stood behind him when he fought La Raza but the guy just never quits making PR mistakes. It is like a bad (not that there was a good) Ernest movie. Ernest goes to city hall. For a guy that doesn't want the spotlight he and his wife sure do enough to remain in it. Funkhouser and wife just need to shut up.
7. It amazes me how ignorant the people that have been elected in the state of Kansas are. Instead of focusing on crime, education and our economy they waste their time on abortion witch hunts ( I am antiabortion), gambling, smoking, drinking, music, evolution etc... How about you stop worrying about what is going on inside my house, car and yard and start worrying about what is going on in the classrooms, in the streets and in your treasury.
   
8. People over the age of 70 should be tested every year to remain eligible for a drivers license.
   
9. An idiot in my office bought a Blue Ray Player but doesn't have HDTV. Good luck with that.
10. An MU fan acted surprised this morning when I said that I didn't consider this Saturdays game a "big game". When MU becomes relevant again in basketball please wake me up.
11. Q1 is always so much fun around the office. The owners of my company set lofty goals that we never hit and expect people that haven't performed to suddenly flip the switch and start producing. They always promise me the world "once we get big" and I use to believe in it. Now when they discuss the future I completely tune them out. What they are discussing is their future. People in sales know to go one day at a time.
12. The 23 year old girl we hired last month in my office is driving a 50k lexus and makes 30k in base salary.
    
13. People that email (non work related), message board, blog etc.. while on vacation should be beat down. Get a grip and enjoy your vacation. I got an email from a buddy saying that he was having a great time in Ireland..... My response will have to be from my home computer.
    
14. Scrapbook season has once again started. This means classes, crops, girls weekends, etc... 24/7. The amount of time and effort that my wife puts into a class in exchange for a store discount is bad economics.
    

QUICK HITS

1. It is early in the first quarter and KCMO is trying to keep their lead on KCK for this years Murder Bowl with a close call at a local ER.

2. NKC says don't count us out and puts one up on the board.

3. And my favorite headline of they day (especially after reading the above) is "Legislative to see proposal to condemn gangster rap". THAT SHOULD FIX EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can you believe that these people were elected? What a collection of dumb ass's.

4. It is not news to many out there that Claire has Jungle Fever.

5. California is creeping closer & closer to becoming a socialist state. Wasn't this once the land of the free? Now we aren't even free to set the temperatures in our own homes.

6. Cat corpses & a million bees will take this home off of the parade of homes list.

7. Hillary blames Obama for being black.

8. When Hugo Chavez does it they call it seizing properties. When your local mayor does it they call it eminent domain. Which is worst?

9. Clinton top adviser gets arrested for going 70 in a 30 while hammered. It is good to see that the Clinton camp has such high regard for our safety.

10. Dumb ass. That's right just simply put, Dumb ass.

My wife just asked me

Why is Tom Brady so great.....................

KANSAS CITY STAR BREAKING NEWS

The Kansas City Public Library is adding more puppet shows.......................................... This is what THE STAR considers breaking news.

KCK GANG BANGERS READ THIS BLOG

They must of read my post about their inability to keep pace with the Varsity over on the Missouri side. 47th & State.

THEY ARE BACK!

Anyone that has driven more than a block in the past 3 days has noticed them. That's right the jackass's that dress up as the Statue of Liberty & Uncle Sam are back begging you to get your taxes done at Liberty Tax Services. Like prostitutes in Wyco you can find these idiots on every corner.

The thing that gets me is that the people that take these jobs DON'T PAY TAXES! These people are picked up off the streets and are usually paid in cash. So in away they are like Bums begging you for your change.

How else can you explain the big S**t eating grins they have.

I WON THE FREAKING LOTTERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WILL SEE YOU SUCKERS LATER.

All that I have to do is email this dude in Ireland and I get $1.5 million.