Thursday, December 04, 2008
QUICK HITS
Ten local and national stories that JOCOIANS should read today.
1. Does anyone know what the street exchange rate is for food stamps nowadays?
2. The German army is a joke.
3. Did the UAW finally wake up and realize that getting paid $70 per hour to push a button was a little excessive?
4. Terrorist make terrible money.
5. Teenagers have started mutilating their bodies to cope with their daddy issues.
6. James Franco and Sean Penn get together and like it.
7. It's ok for a 17 year old to get an abortion without parental consent but if they share a naked photo of themselves with a friend they get in trouble????????????????
8. Hot KY serves an alternate purpose behind prison walls.
9. Christmas Party OUT, Muslim Festival IN.
10. Texas woman has a body infested with maggots.
THE WIRE
This section pretty much writes itself now.
1. Riverside arsonist cripple snow removal equipment. I wonder how many people will end up as red snow stains because of this fire.
2. Kiddie Gitmo in Abilene, KS.
3. 35th and Main is where I would want to be at 4:30 in the morning. This person might as well had a "Stab Me" sign.
4. It isn't even safe to stay inside and watch tv in KCMO.
5. Female cops in KCMO can't handle shoplifters. What happens when they go up against a gang banger?
6. I have heard of kids smoking weed with their parents before BUT smoking weed and WATCHING PORN. That is some straight up incest crap. Only in Missouri.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
DID THE SQUIT PLAY BASEBALL?
This will be my last post regarding the lack of presentation that the Mayors boss has. Anyways, one of the gals that works in my office mentioned that when she saw the clip of the Mayor on TV the other night she thought that she looked like Martha Hooch from a League Of Their Own
LIFE IN SOJOCO AGREES WITH ME
Read and enjoy you race baiting, hate filled bastards from Jackson County. Maybe one day you will finally realize that you don't live in a slave state anymore and join the inclusiveness of our great county. We dont discrimenate due to ethnicity over here just over income.
NATE BUKATY CALLS KU A BUBBLE TEAM
I think that this just proves that Bukaty should stick to baseball.
DO YOU HAVE A PREDICTION?????????
Apparently due to my coverage of metro crime people are wanting a prediction out of me on the end of the year murder count. While I find betting on the loss of lives of Metro residents to be a bit cold hearted I do see the merits in putting up such a prediction. If people WERE to start predicting a death count MAYBE THAT WILL FINALLY WAKE UP THE POWER THAT BE TO THE FACT THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM.
If we as bloggers start putting up our Death Pool, maybe the freaking media will stop focusing on Yule logs and start doing SERIOUS in depth reporting on what the hell is going on. You can bet your ass that if JOCO were to be approaching a murder record the media would be all over it..... Instead they do crime scene reports and move on. It's almost as if they have a system in place. Does the media believe that 1 murdered JOCOIAN is equal to 20 dead KCMO residents? Their coverage would certainly lead one to believe so.
With the snow season approaching you can be guaranteed less coverage of crime in the metro. Instead they rather scare the crap out of people with false snow predictions. I can't believe that more of you aren't pissed off about this. I don't even live in that part of town and I am more pissed than most of the residents.
Anyways in an effort to end the emails I will not be giving out a death count.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
HAS KMBC BECOME A BLOGGERS BEST FRIEND?
I dig the fact that they are putting their video on youtube. The downfall is the fact that I now have video of this ugly beast of a woman on my blog.
THE WIRE
Another successful day of protecting JOCO for SOB MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omega man on the other hand...........
1. Gunshot wounds have become so common in the East Side that the residents can't even tell if they have been shot. Either this guy and his friends are total dumb ass's or well these guys are total dumb ass's.
2. What was the Missouri basketball team doing in Lawrence last night?
3. KCMO thieves utilize the internet to rob rednecks.
4. Missouri teacher accused of raping a 13 year old girl for 3 years.
5. Missouri woman found buried in concrete and stuffed in toolbox. This guy must of really hated his wife to lose a tool box over it.
6. Even the wildlife in Missouri is gangster.
7. The recession has forced robbers to use hairspray to attack their victims.
Monday, December 01, 2008
THINGS THAT ANNOY ME - CHRISTMAS EDITION
This is the revised version of last years list.
1. Seeing 8 checkout lanes void from a cashier while you wait in a line 10 deep. What makes this even better is when you see 5 or 6 employees of the store standing around customer service chatting. You have two things to do. Scan items, collect money. that is all there is to it and you CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!
2. The jackass that follows you to your car in order to take your spot when you leave. This happened to me last week and I simply started my car, turned it back off and walked back into the store. The look on the guys face was priceless.
3. Special Buys. What a scam this is. In the fine print of the ad you will see the words limited quantity or only 7 per store. They do this to lure you into their store and switch you onto a more expensive product.
4. Blue Christmas lights. Why even bother? These are the ugliest lights on the planet (icicles from the gutters are a close 2nd). I have never met anyone that likes seeing those hideous things.
5. Drooping Christmas lights. If you are going to go to the effort of hanging them up make them straight. Nothing says WT more than drooping lights.
6. $10 gift cards. Really, what the hell are you suppose to purchase for $10, batteries. There is nothing wrong with a gift that costs $10 it shows that you put some thought and effort into it, This says that I didn't want to spend anytime shopping for you at all.
7. Holiday office parties - Nothing says Christmas like getting together with people that you see 50 hours a week, every week for a Dinner. Really, do we need to see these people after hours as well just because it is Christmas? Nobody I have asked this year likes these things yet they occur every damn year.
8. Traffic - This really needs no explanation.
9. People wishing me a happy holiday. Just say MERRY CHRISTMAS! Why the hell do we have to use code to speak of a holiday? Do I really need to have a Navajo Indian with me in order to speak at Christmas Time.
10. The Mayors Christmas Tree - This has become a joke. This guy is terrible at amaking choices. Two examples, his wife and the Christmas Tree.
11. Stores that advertise the Mail in Rebate price as opposed to the actual price. Anyone that has ever gone through the mail in rebate process understands that it is a hoax. Why do you have to wait 6 months to get $40? Microcenter is notorious for this.
12. Live Nativity Scenes. Does acting out a scene of the bible make you more religious than the next guy? If I wanted to see homeless people I would cross the state line.
13. Lazy Bell Ringers - I know that your job sucks but you could at least put some effort into it. You are competing for my change with the next charity, act like you want my quarter.
14. Crappy Holiday shows - Network execs think that we will watch anything that has Christmas in it. They will take C level sitcom stars from the 80's and put them on a set with snow, presents, a Christmas tree and some struggle and expect us to watch it. Christmas shows that were on TV USE TO BE GOOD. WTF HAPPENED.
15. Atheist - Don't ruin our holiday just because you are going to hell. Also, don't protest our holiday and except a gift from us you damn heathens.
16. Pop Star Christmas music
17. Christmas Clothing - This is some of the ugliest crap I have ever seen.
18. People that attend the Plaza Lighting ceremony - I guess I am missing it here, do the lights look different on Thanksgiving than they do on December 14th?
19. People that say that Christmas lights are bad for the environment.
20. Drawing names for gifts - This is a scam to ensure that unpopular and mean people get gifts at the office etc....
21. Stories on the homeless - Christmas seems to remind the media that they need to run specials on the homeless. It seems that the only day of the year they really need us is December 25th.
22. The exploitation of Snowmen and Reindeer on TV. Do we really need 5 frosty sequels and 3 Rudolph sequels?
More to come I am sure.................
THE CRYING GAME
"We're in the championship game. Not Kansas, not Kansas State, not Baylor, no one else we're in the championship game."
THE WIRE - WEEKEND KETCHUP
As Jocoians we need to be thankful that we don't live in these hell holes. While we were busy eating turkey and hanging up Christmas lights the rest of the Metro was busy going East Side.
1. Have you ever read a story in which the street Van Brunt was involved in Crime? Shooting at 7th and crap.
2. This is the second time that this store has made THE WIRE. Hispanic on Hispanic crime is rampant in Olathe.
3. KCK Police Standoff sparks the beginning of the Holiday Season.
4. My mother use to tell me that nothing good happens after midnight....In KCMO the same can be said for 5:30. This poor bastard was gunned down at 2am. Season Greetings.
5. STL carjackers give themselves the death penalty.
6. Barbershop 3. Burn them bitches down.
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