Monday, November 16, 2020

5 year choroidal melanoma anniversary - The clock starts ticking now

Ok, I am finally willing to discuss this

It was 5 years ago that my life began the countdown towards the early end. 
Choroidal melanoma is a rare form of cancer that forms behind the eye and is for lack of a better word "lethal".  This isn't exactly one of those well-known cancers and there isn't anything that you can do to prevent it. 

After my diagnosis, I told my ex-wife the news and instead of support and comfort she was actually mad at ME and got in her car without a word and drove off.  That might have been even worst than receiving the bad news a few hours earlier.  I was left speechless and confused by what had just happened and knew that I would be facing this alone.  

I would also be facing the permanent loss of vision in one of my eyes.  This took away my motorcycle riding, balance, depth perception, and new meaning to the phrase blind spot.  It took me 2 years to be able to fully function without destroying everything around me when I walked etc.

In my mind, the shot clock was ticking on my life and the person who I had at that point spent close to 20 years of marriage and raised 2 kids with decided that I would be isolated and the trauma that I was dealing with would be kept from the family.  This meant that the emotional issues that I was dealing with went without explanation to my teenage daughters.  My ex decided that we should keep it from them until June ( I was diagnosed the previous October) when school was out.  Even then she didn't want to tell them.  It was my problem after all and not anybody else's.  To her/them my cancer wasn't serious...  I had just a year earlier recovered from a major motorcycle accident that destroyed my knee, gave me head trauma that I am still dealing with(headaches, memory loss, night vertigo, etc.).  That is another story altogether.

I received radiation therapy 5 weeks after my diagnosis to slow the spread.  This meant checking in on a Monday and having radiation inserted through the eye and removed the following Friday.  Radiation levels were too high for visitors and medical staff could only be in the room for 5 minutes before having to leave.  It didn't much matter because I knew that I was on my own.  The tumor was shrunk to a size that they were happy with and the shot clock began.  This wonderful little thing doesn't go away, instead, most patients have it spread to the liver or the brain, depending on how it feels.  

As you can imagine, this story doesn't presently have a happy ending.  It wasn't long after my diagnosis that my ex decided to file for divorce.  I missed 6 months of work when the company I was working for split up while recovering and finding a new job when you are wearing an eye patch and still trying to cope with things wasn't easy.  Despite my best efforts, the 20 prior years apparently didn't amount to shit.  

So now I start my march to the unknown 5+ year mark hoping that I am one of the lucky ones to survive.  

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Pulled from the scrap heap

After consulting with several attorneys that specialize in media publications and my mutt, I have decided to make a come back into the blogging world.  I have gone back through and edited most of my political posts from the past 12 years because well, none of that crap even matters as of Jan1 of 2020. 

This country has become one hot dumpster fire on the verge of a civil war.  Death, beatings,
unemployment and corruption have made life inside the 50 states unbearable.  Who here hasn't had their lives turn upside down?  That might be the only thing that we have in common with one another today.  

Some ask, how the Fuck did this happen and look confused as if they were completely unaware and did not themselves participate.  The answer, social media.  The world is now controlled by pandering Blue Check marks and clout chasing posers trying to one up their most woke neighbor, or neighbor 1000 miles away that they have never met.  Before social media you couldn't hide in your basement and light the country on fire with your rhetoric, you had to do that shit face to face.  This made SMART people measure their words and idiots stand out.  

Truth hurts at times and it seems that a lot of folks would rather silence the truth than deal with it head on (I went through this shit when I took this blog back online when I was getting screwed with by people wishing to silence the truth I was speaking).  It is never the facts that come into play but instead people of unlimited power and influence personal desire to divide and silence their minions.  If you think these people care about you, keep the wool over your eyes and let the country and those that you care about suffer. 

Daily Struggles

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

MOTH BALLED

Due to the recent ruling against me and the threat of jail time unless I comply with their ruling I am officially mothballing this site.  It will remain up so that
future projects including podcasting etc.. can refer back to some of the classics but there will be zero new content coming from here (besides the Judge ordered post). 

Most of those post was satire and occurred at a point in my life in which I now realize was some of the most miserable of my existence.  I was truly unhappy and it is now that I feel free and happy despite my financial ruin and the constant harassment I receive from the ex.  Even with one eye, cancer, zero money, constant head pain and memory loss from my motorcycle accident and my kids being brainwashed and being used as a bargaining chip against me I am happier now that I have been since 2012.  The only thing missing is honestly my children.

So with that, the new content will focus on where I am now etc.. instead of the negativity that brought me into my situation. 

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Joyner Lucas - I'm Not Racist

Case Lost in JOCO COURTS

So today was my 1st amendment case and well as you can see by the number of posts regarding the judge that remain I was told to remove them or face 2 days in jail!

There will also be a statement posted from the courts on this blog in the upcoming days that I must keep up for the duration of the case...

If you are a blogger in JOCO let this case serve as your warning that your speech is not protected.

AS OF MAY 14 2019, I STILL HAVE NOT RECEIVED A SIGNED COPY OF WHAT I AM REQUIRED TO POST TO PREVENT ME FROM GOING TO JAIL.