IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF BLACK SHEEP

YOU CAN GET WITH THIS 

OR

YOU CAN GET WITH THAT
DID TIGER CHOOSE WISELY?

HO TO HOUSEWIFE NEVER WORKS

In the insightful words of Kurupt we all know that you can't turn a ho into a housewife.  If only Tiger Woods would of listend to those lyrices, he might not of married a lingerie model.

1.  911 tape

2.  Crime Scene photos

3.  Wife kicks Tigers ass, not the tree.  Now imagine if he would of fought back.  The poor bastard would NEVER be able to overcome that so he had to sit back and get bitch slapped.

4.  Tiger Woods releases a statement that I am sure was written by Nike.

QUICK HITS

TEN STORIES BEING READ BY JOCOIANS TODAY.


1. While people in Missouri are dying at an increased rate, Kansas once again shows its superiority in quality of life.
2. You would think that we could get one benefit out of this crappy economy but the spandex clad death magnets refuse to quit.

3. Lezak is looking for lots of inches this winter.

4. Iranians like having unprotected sex.

5. Storming buildings with swords is back in.

6. Bush pardons John Forte. Maybe now we can get a new Fugee's album.

7. British kids don't know how to handle break ups. No word on whether or not his gf walked in and found him bleeding and decided to stab herself as well.

8. How do you accidentally flush a baby down the toilet?

9. Anyone that thought Tiger Woods was driving around in a LeSabre was on crack.

10. Teachers Aide by day, Porn star by night. I wonder how many men were involved in the PTO at that school. AND isn't it just like a bunch of women to want to get this woman fired?

Golf Guy

Now that summer is almost over I can finally rid myself of "golf guy". Golf guy is softball guys wealthier ugly cousin and is even more annoying. Monday mornings in the office are often spent hearing tales of the great round that they played at "The Club" along with how many beers they drank along the way. One thing you must remember though after hearing these tales is that if you ever play with golf guy it will always be the worst round he ever played and the course will be in terrible condition. How else can he explain shooting a score 20 points higher with you than he does the other 52 weeks a year.

1. The in office practice swing. This is similar to the air guitar except
2. "I'd rather be golfing" There has not been a day in the past 9 years that I have not heard that stupid ass phrase.