QUICK HITS

TEN STORIES BEING READ BY JOCOIANS TODAY.


1. While people in Missouri are dying at an increased rate, Kansas once again shows its superiority in quality of life.
2. You would think that we could get one benefit out of this crappy economy but the spandex clad death magnets refuse to quit.

3. Lezak is looking for lots of inches this winter.

4. Iranians like having unprotected sex.

5. Storming buildings with swords is back in.

6. Bush pardons John Forte. Maybe now we can get a new Fugee's album.

7. British kids don't know how to handle break ups. No word on whether or not his gf walked in and found him bleeding and decided to stab herself as well.

8. How do you accidentally flush a baby down the toilet?

9. Anyone that thought Tiger Woods was driving around in a LeSabre was on crack.

10. Teachers Aide by day, Porn star by night. I wonder how many men were involved in the PTO at that school. AND isn't it just like a bunch of women to want to get this woman fired?

HOW MANY TIMES CAN THEY GET IT WRONG

This weekend was further proof as to why being a "weather person" in Kansas City is the easiest job in the country. I mean where else can you get away with blowing EVERY forecast. Katie Horner was telling people on Friday to stock up at the grocery store, Lezak said it wouldn't happen until Saturday night. BOTH WERE WRONG.

This caused my Saturday Morning trip to Hen House to be a royal pain in the ass. Not only was the storm not holding up until Saturday Night (nice call Gary) but the grocery store was completely out of carts and the lines were backed up to the back of the store (thanks Katie). I am sick of people calling these two the best in town. NEVER are they right and in Katies case they cause more harm than good with the panic they cause.

Horner may be the worst person to live in this city since Bob Berdella.

LEZAK DOG UPDATE

This morning he mentioned pictures of his dogs up for everyone to see in their costumes. I am sad to report that my earlier Live Late Breaking report was 100% accurate. Here is a picture that I stole from his website.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

But this morning on KMBZ Gary Lezak said that he was dressing his dogs up for Halloween. The costumes of choice, a nurse and a princess. You can come to your own conclusions.