OBAMA MAKES THE UNITED STATES WEAK

WHY THE HELL IS THE LEADER OF OUR COUNTRY BOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LONG LIVE THE PIRATES!

Tell the truth, deep down inside you are glad to see that Pirates are making a big comeback. The world just seems like a better place with these guys putting in work. For nearly a decade pirating had lost its luster and had been wussified into stealing music or movies.

When I think Pirate I don't think of some dork with a laptop writing scripts to break Sonys latest encryption programs. Missing limbs, hooks, patches, parrots, treasure chest, planks, rum, wenches and flags with skulls on them are what pirates are really all about and don't forget it. Don't replace Long John Silver and Blackbeard with nerds with pocket protectors and thumb drives instead of swords.

I say the more Pirates the Better!

MERRIAM PLEASE GO AWAY

Dear People of Merriam,

I am begging you to leave the county of JO. You provide no value or substance to our county and truly don't fit the mold. The interviews that you dumb racist bastards gave to 980 are an embarrassment to a county that is for inclusion and diversity. I believe that the residents, politics and economy of Merriam would best fit the WYCO mold and plan on doing some research on how to take out the White Trash.

Kiss My Ass,
JOCOSOB

BACK TO NORMAL

I was starting to wonder if KCMO had turned the corner and their days of violence were over. Did the Tulips actually work? Did the Chief of police implement a plan that worked? Maybe the Mayor organized the neighborhoods effected by this violence and they fought back.....

Yeah right, here is another body for you, this time at the scenic area of 8th and Harrison.

JOCO HO'S SOON TO BE EXPOSED

A truck load of Beauty products was stolen today in JOCO and with that the sounds of 40 something wannabe trophy wives screaming south of 135th street could be heard for miles away.

How will they face the world in their true skin?

What will their husbands do when they see them unpainted?

Will the grocery store manager still hit on them?

The police don't have a clue on where to look but they can go ahead and rule out looking in KCK. One truck load of makeup isn't enough to help the women there.

THE PRICE OF HUMOR

This is a tragic price to pay for one of the funniest 911 tapes you will ever hear.

GOOD NEWS LADIES!

You can now have sex for 4 WHOLE MINUTES! Pathetic I know, but this is actually an increase from 30 seconds.

Are there really women out there that are STILL living with someone that this could help?

If you are married to a woman that has tolerated this problem for any amount of time KNOW THIS, she is cheating on your ass.

LEARY TUESDAYS - THINNING THE HERD

SUPPORT YOUR METRO BIZ

Instead of sitting back and bitching about the economy and watching as locally owned and operated business's close left and right I think it is time to do something.

So if you have a locally owned business let me know. If it passes the smell test I will put your logo and link up on my sidebar until this economy turns around.

I only wish I could do more.

COULD JOCO HAVE ITS OWN MONEY?

This has some freaking potential. Who better to be on the $100 bill than yours truly? Hell KCK & KCMO have had their own currency for years (food stamps) so why cant we?