THE WIRE - WEEKEND KETCHUP

Gangs bangers wear panchos? One would have to assume so after reading THE WIRE today. We got shootings, ho smacking, stabbings and found bodies. If you are reading this from your home congratulations, you made it through another weekend. If you are reading this from the hospital then learn to duck.

1. There is no such thing as a natural death in KCMO so don't fall for the attempt at stat cooking.

2. KCK's Argentine district joins in on the fun.

3. How does a conversation go after you get shot in KCMO "Hey do you want me to call the ambo or should we just check ourselves in?" Good lord. Note: If I get shot I want my ass life flighted, screw the ambulance and driving myself.

4. Kansas City was once known for its beautiful blvds. Now we know them as killing fields.

5. The violence in this college town is out of control. There were more stabbings in Lawrence this weekend than K State
victories in Hoops in the past 20 years(in Lawrence).

6. East Side religious leader reaches back and smacks a Ho. Even the Pastors in the inside are freaking gangsters.

Christine Taylor

DEEP THROAT KMBZ STYLE

If you tune into 980 KMBZ right now you will hear Mike Shannon and Scott Parks engage in a pornographic act while defending Obama. It is sickening to hear two supposed Republicans destroy the party and conservative commentators on a daily basis.

I think that Scott Parks believes that Admiral Obama drew up the attack plan and pulled the trigger on the recent pirate rescue.

KCMOSD: THE DRAIN HOLE

It looks to me as if the KCMOSD is the drain hole for all the districts around it.

Way to not bow to peer pressure and become successful like all those around you.

HIP HOP FLASHBACK - KEITH MURRAY & ERIC SERMON

REMEMBER WHEN THEY WERE GOOD?

HEADLINE OF THE DAY

'Crack was my friend,'

QUICK HITS - Protect Ya Neck

Yesterday I said that drug dealers were bigger believers in capitalism than our President. Apparently this upset some of you idiots on the left which forced you to send me sniveling emails complaining of my tactics. To all of you that sent emails, prove me wrong.

Drug dealers have more experience in the business world than our community activist and that is sad. Has BO ever had to worry about inventory, quality, store locations, hiring and firing of employees, training and collections? The answer to that is hell no.

1, Ugly and ignorant is no way to go through life. Can someone please tell me why they put her ass on 24? And better yet, why haven't they killed her character off in a slow painful way?

2. 24 inches of snow in mid April is a sign that global warming is here.......

3. Do you want to use the word "wider" when discussing a female condom?

4. Look for Dodd to start looting the government of even more money since he is more than likely not going to be reelected.

5. Another "looker" liberal is in favor of massive bailouts of the Obama propaganda machine (newspapers). DO MY TAX DOLLARS NEED TO SAVE YAEL ABAHACHOO's job? Media bailout my ass.

6. Can you really call these pieces of crap automobiles? The unveiling of these Gov mobiles had to be as exciting as getting a Pet Rock on Christmas.

7. Man with Pet tools took playing doctor too far when he started doing breast implants. Can you imagine these chicks waking up and seeing that their chest looked like the underside of a female dog?

8. The President of the United States continues to be the bitch of all dictators.

9. So we can find Cleopatra's tomb but Bin Ladens cave remains a mystery?

10. Somebody actually kept track of all the moronic things that our VP has said? talk about time consuming.

A STRAY IS A STRAY IN KCMO

What was suppose to be a heart warming story turns out to be more of an embarrassment than anything.

How is it a positive story that a neighborhood treats a homeless woman the same way they treat a stray dog?

I kept waiting for one of the people interviewed to say that they got her spayed.

Maria Menounos PICS