THE WIRE - WEEKEND RECAP

I would like to thank the local crime community for keeping up their good work even though the temps continue to fall.

1. The one thing that Quick Trip doesn't offer is treatment for gunshot wounds (as this poor bastard found out). Considering this stores location they ought to consider opening up a treatment center next to the Rooster Booster stand.

2. KCMO arsonist take advantage of sinking gas prices.

3. Murder in South KC Housing projects errrrrrrrrrrr Apartment Complex

4. "POP, POP, POP" is NOT the sound of a breakfast cereal on Paseo.

As you will notice SOB MAN was busy protecting JOCO and preventing the county under his protection from making the list. Can the same be said about other local "super hero crime fighters".

JINGLE BOMBS

If it isn't too early for Christmas music on the radio then it isn't too early for Jingle Bombs on the Blog

SOB MAN IS ON IT

Today in Olathe we had yet another instance of White on White Crime. SOB MAN NEEDS YOUR HELP. If you have any information in regards to the attempted abduction of a female meter reader in Olathe please send me an email. At that time I will call a press conference and claim that I "fought" crime.

HIP HOP FLASHBACK

20 REASONS JOCO RESIDENTS SHOULD BE THANKFUL

With all the negativity on the news lately it might be hard for some of you to find reasons to be thankful. When that happens just remember that you are a JOCOIAN and you are blessed to live in a county full of growth, inclusiveness and prosperity.

It could be worst


1. Knowing that your dinner was purchased by you and not by elementary school kids from a different state and county.

2. That your county doesn't fall under the protection of Omega "Racist" Man

3. Public Schools aren't a nationwide joke

4. We have a neighboring county that will continue to flip the bill on our entertainment venues.

5. Oklahoma Joes BBQ is better than Gates or Bryants

6. We can typically live in the county that we work in.

7. We watch "A Christmas Carol" and feel bad for Tiny Tim. KCMO kids are envious of all that Tiny Tim has.

8. We don't have a single street named after a corrupt politician let alone 2.

9. We have no idea who the spouse of the Mayor of Overland Park is.

10. Our shopping district isn't built by an open Septic Tank.

11. We were smart enough to vote against BiState.

12. Our police departments don't have to order crime scene tape and chalk by the pallet.

13. It isn't NEWS if a grocery store opens in our county.

14. We can laugh everytime someone says that KCMO has "culture" and diversity and that is why they live there. The reason we laugh is becuase we know that the people saying that live in the most segregated city in the midwest and couldn't tell you how to get to the Art Museum.

15. Our kids play with Super Soakers in the summer ,not AK47's.

16. Take your kid to work day doesn't involve standing on a corner.

17. Parks Board nominations don't make national news.

18. We don't have two arenas without anchor tenants.

19. They aren't called they Overland Park Royals and the Leawood Chiefs.

20. The number 117 isn't associated with the number of murders and high school grads we have.

PLEASE HELP SOLVE THIS CRIME

SOB MAN needs your help protecting JOCO from crime.

If you have any information regarding a muffin stolen from someones table at Starbucks this morning. Please send me an email at jocosob@yahoo.com.

Do not call the TIPS hot line. EMAIL ME FIRST! I wil call them for you.

I need some props so I can upgrade the new SOB MAN MOBILE

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

For now on when discussing crime on this blog I want it to known that I will go as SOB MAN.
My Super Power is my ability to avoid living in the East Side.
BE SURE to go to this site to help me design the SOB MAN MOBILE

OMEGA MANS ONLY SUPER POPWER: THE RACE CARD

Kansas City's very own "Myster Men" reject has activated his only super power, the race card. That's right Omega Man has taken time out of his day (which I am sure was REAL hard to do) to attack white people and pat himself on the back. You see it appears that Omega Man's kryptonite appears to be criticism by people that he claims not to even care about.

If he wants to be a real crime fighter why doesn't he join the brave men and women (some who actually happen to be white, shocking, I know) that risk their lives on a daily basis and wear a badge?

What crime has this guy actually fought? I don't remember seeing him taking down street gangs, making drug raids or saving women from domestic abuse? If you want to be Omega man you have to do more than relay information. If you want credit for solving the Precious Doe case then you should take the blame for each and every young person that gets killed in the streets that you claim to protect and claim that no white person would dare travel down.

Look at it this way. If Batman resided over the crime increase that has occurred in KCMO for the past couple of years he wouldn't seek glory, he would retire. Omega Man should follow the same guidlines.

Lets face it buddy you are are more Shoveler than Batman. Why is it that Kansas City can't have a winner at anything? Not only do we have professional sports teams that should be minor leauge teams but we also have a minor leauge wannabe super hero.

1. Our wannabe doesn't drive a fast car, fly or talk to fish, he drives a broke ass scooter.

2. Our wannabe doesn't have a cool signal that is flashed when there is trouble, he has a blog and a phone number.

3. Our wannabe doesn't have a cool villan to fight, he fights white bloggers

4. Our wannabe doesn't have a cool line of comic books, movies and action figures, he has well...

5. Our wannabe doesn't care about the welfare of the city, he cares about if his name was mentioned on TV.

To be honest, I could careless if some nerd wants to drive through the hood on a scooter saying that he is a super hero (it is actually kinda funny)all I ask is that you put on a cape or something. And if said nerd happens to turn up a tip for the police then more power to him (but how hard is it to find crime in the East Side). But calling yourself a crime fighter, COME ON, You are a referral network not a crime fighter. You are more consierge than anything.

CHAPPELLE TUESDAY ON UMM WEDNESDAY

QUICK HITS

TOP TEN STORIES TO READ TODAY, THE REST OF THE CRAP IS GARBAGE.

1. Those silly racist terrorist. I thought that Obama was their guy?

2. Obama will have plenty of strength to redistribute the wealth.

3. Hitler the ballless wonder.

4. Chicks wearing tool belts is a bad idea even in space.

5. Where the hell were these teachers when I was in school?

6. It warms my heart every time I hear that a prosocialist organization lays people off. This is the price you pay for being bias.

7. JOCO reaches out to the residents of KCK and KCMO during the holidays. Enjoy our leftovers.

8. The rocket sceintist that live in Eudora have concluded that a small fire lead to a big fire. BRILLIANT!

9. Further proof that the kids that attend the universities in Missouri are dirty.

10. The parents of the children attending KCMO schools show their support for the idiot hacks that couldn't get a job in a real district. Everyone of these idiots should be arrested for child abuse.

THE WIRE

1. The Mayor isn't the only back stabber in KCMO.

2. Gun shots at Central High are almost as common as seeing a Lexus in the parking lot of a Blue Valley school.

3. Who woulda thought that a park in KCK would be unsafe for a single woman?

4. Do KCMO gang bangers get workers compensation?

5. Dead Bitch Walkin

6. KCMO school system is not doing enough to prepare carjackers for the real world. This is really a simple story problem. If Carjacker A can not drive a stick shift but wants to go out a jack someone for their ride should he...........

NOT DEAD

I will be updating on a regular basis again starting tomorrow.

THE RETURN OF QUICK HITS

Top ten stories that you need to read today.

1. God is punishing Oprah for supporting Obama. When the fires are put out that city will still look better than the east side of KCMO.

2. Will the Brits start disposing of dead bodies the East Side way and just dump them on the streets?

3. Omaha has a better system for dealing with unwanted kids than Kansas City. In Omaha if you don't want your kid you dump them in a hospital. In KCMO you put them on a bus and send them to a public school.

4. Old women in Mexico face threat to their nightly sleep.

5. When keeping it cyber goes wrong.

6. Well, at least the East Side is safe from these.

7. Wouldn't the world be better without Abercrombie?

8. The self proclaimed voice of his generation sets a great example.

9. If you are the 5th country to do something do you really deserve credit?

10. Church says that Obama supporters are going to hell.

A SPECAIL MESSAGE TO THE MAYOR OF KCMO

It's sad that rappers have more intelligence than the mayor of KCMO

HAS THERE BEEN A BIGGER JACK ASS IN MUSIC?

For "his generations" sake I hope that they are all deaf and can't hear his voice. This is what happens wussification enters hip hop. If you will notice in the picture above not everyone in the hood is a umm fan.