QUICK HITS

10 stories worth reading in the news today.

1. Pakistan refuses to release terrorist to India. I am sure that Obama will fix this.

2. Straight people that are sick MIGHT want to rethink calling in sick tomorrow.

3. Stripper tries to keep job in the family by utilizing her 16 year old daughter. I am surprised that this story didn't take place in Raytown.

4. Military jet crashes in San Diego.

5. LA cracks down on street gangs. Yeah, that will work............

6. High School kids in NYC get their ass's kicked by security guards at school for using cell phones.

7. Governors official stance. "Once you go black, you don't go back"

8. Jerry Jones attacks Marion Barber, classless.

9. Women more likely to die from heart attacks then men. What the story fails to mention is that women are the leading cause of heart attacks FOR MEN.

10. Attention Wal Mart Shoppers - You can now by I Phones in the electronics department. Isn't an I phone a little bit too classy for Wal Mart?

THE WIRE - KETCHUP

East side residents can take comfort in the fact that red is at least a Christmas color. Once the snow comes neighborhoods through out the East Side will be able to display their blood red snow displays.

1. Hanging out at 4am in front of a school typically wont get you shot in JOCO, but in North East KCMO you can almost count on it.

2. KCMO woman (with a great name) admits to torching house with kid inside.

3. Don't sleep on KCK. TWO SHOT, one dead and a partridge in a pear tree.
4. Robbing a laundromat? The payoff sucks. Way to use your brains KCMO residents.

5. KCMO man shot two different time on the same night. What a town!

LEARY TUESDAYS

AUTO BAILOUT

Are they going to offer relief to the car buyers that bought crappy American cars the same way they were going to offer relief to people that singed up for crappy loans?

HIP HOP FLASHBACK

THE KCMO CHRISTMAS CD

Coming soon to a JOCO retailer near you a new Christmas Classic brought to you by SOB Productions.

A VERY MERRY KCMO CHRISTMAS

1. The 12 months of Funkhouser

2. How the Squit stole Christmas

3. All I want for Christmas is my GED

4. Little Gunner Boy

5. I saw mommy getting pimped by Santa

6. Frosty the Dope Man

7. Rudolph the Red Nosed Drunk

8. The NAACP ain't coming to town

9. I'll be home for Chirstmas ( in 10-20 years)

10. Silver Glocks

11. White City Hall - A Squitiro Solo

12. KCMO got run over by Cordish Group

13. Have yourself an unaccredited education

14. Rocking around a stolen Christmas Tree

15. The night before depositions

16. Hark the Narc and let bullets ring

17. Santa Clause got stabbed walking through town.

18. Wheres the blow, wheres the blow, wheres the blow

JOCO BOOZIN MOMS

First of all let me state that I am not sure if this woman is a native of JOCO or a transplant. The 79th street area is part of NOJOCO so anyhthing is possible. BUT just because you live in wannabe JOCO that is no excuse to drink and drive your kids to school and tarnish the good name of our county. Take a cue from the women of SOJOCO and deal with your depression by trying to act like you are still in a sorority, live through your kids, get a boob job, nail some guy you met at Nick & Jakes, get 5000 friends on facebook or my personal favorite sell Pampered Chef products.

This woman should be forced to move into the DMZ part of JOCO, Roeland Park.

WOULD YOU RATHER......................

Would you rather save a homeless animal or a homeless person?

I ask this question because I have heard a lot of people lately saying that it is important for us to remember the homeless animals this time of year (it gets better). Taking these discussions to another level I have been asking them what it is that they do for homeless people and most of them have responded with "nothing".

Now anyone that reads this blog knows that I think that the homeless get exploited every Christmas by the media but that doesn't mean I think you should help them out. I also can't believe that there are people out there that rather save the life of a kitten over that of a human being.

Have you ever taken a step back and looked at all you have and wondered how far away from being that guy/gal you are? Most people take for granted that once they reach a certain income level/life style that they are there forever. However there are many of us who have made a lot of money but lost it due to the economy(2001-2002). Many of us have busted our asses to get back to that previous level and then some just so we don't end up there again. We got through those times with the help of family, friends, spouses and luck.

What if you have no family, friends, spouse and you have crappy luck? What if you saw people caring more about kittens and puppies than you and your family?

All that I am saying is that if you are going to help out those on four legs do it in addition to helping out those on two, not in place of it.

Biker Claus is coming to town

You gotta love this play

QUICK HITS

Ten local and national stories that JOCOIANS should read today.

1. Does anyone know what the street exchange rate is for food stamps nowadays?

2. The German army is a joke.

3. Did the UAW finally wake up and realize that getting paid $70 per hour to push a button was a little excessive?
4. Terrorist make terrible money.

5. Teenagers have started mutilating their bodies to cope with their daddy issues.

6. James Franco and Sean Penn get together and like it.

7. It's ok for a 17 year old to get an abortion without parental consent but if they share a naked photo of themselves with a friend they get in trouble????????????????
8. Hot KY serves an alternate purpose behind prison walls.

9. Christmas Party OUT, Muslim Festival IN.

10. Texas woman has a body infested with maggots.

THE WIRE

This section pretty much writes itself now.

1. Riverside arsonist cripple snow removal equipment. I wonder how many people will end up as red snow stains because of this fire.

2. Kiddie Gitmo in Abilene, KS.

3. 35th and Main is where I would want to be at 4:30 in the morning. This person might as well had a "Stab Me" sign.

4. It isn't even safe to stay inside and watch tv in KCMO.

5. Female cops in KCMO can't handle shoplifters. What happens when they go up against a gang banger?

6. I have heard of kids smoking weed with their parents before BUT smoking weed and WATCHING PORN. That is some straight up incest crap. Only in Missouri.

CARRIE UNDERWOOD THURSDAYS

DID THE SQUIT PLAY BASEBALL?

This will be my last post regarding the lack of presentation that the Mayors boss has. Anyways, one of the gals that works in my office mentioned that when she saw the clip of the Mayor on TV the other night she thought that she looked like Martha Hooch from a League Of Their Own

LIFE IN SOJOCO AGREES WITH ME

Read and enjoy you race baiting, hate filled bastards from Jackson County. Maybe one day you will finally realize that you don't live in a slave state anymore and join the inclusiveness of our great county. We dont discrimenate due to ethnicity over here just over income.