TEETER TOTTER, SWING, SLIDE, CRACK HEAD

The hippie drop out residents of Lawrence, Ks (gods country) have lost their freaking minds. Homeless camps in parks? For a city that considers themselves "Green" they are clueless. Have they considered the environmental impact on these parks from the bums? Broken bottles, needles, feces, urine and trash aren't exactly good for green space set aside for people to enjoy.

And who the hell is going to take their kids to a park filled with homeless people "camping". Would you let your kid swing next to Hobo Joe and Crack head Mike?

Idiots.

GUEST POSTER - AKIRA

I hope that you gamers out there enjoy the new video game review section. I have known Akira for nearly 2 years now and despite that I asked him to help out with some content for this blog. This guy knows his crap when it comes to Video Games and if he says it is a good game then chances are it is.
Enjoy,
JOCO SOB

Hey there interwebs, Akira here by command of the great JOCOSOB. Today I'm get to review a great game for you guys Left4Dead. You might have guess from the title that this is a zombie game. Where you have been “left for dead” against the zombie hordes that now infest the world because you were lucky enough to be immune to the zombie virus. Lucky you.

This is a first person shooter, that can be played by yourself, split screen co-op or up to 4 people online. And the online is where this game shines the most but why? Because the none player characters are no way as smart or fun as our friends...well most our friends that is. >.> You can play online with random people but some may not use mikes and other may just be screwing around and mess up your experience. So if you can find some friends to play it will enrich you time with this game.

Now getting on to more of the game there are 4 different survivors that you can choose to be. And you take them through 4 different stages that are each set up as a separate movie. As you and your team fight off the zombies or normal infected you will also be randomly jumped by special infected who have special traits to make your already bad day go to worse.

There 5 of these starting with the Boomer which is a blob of a zombie the if close enough to you will vomit upon you attracting all zombies in the area to you as well as exploding when shot. Next is one with a wicked tong called Smoker, called so because when you kill him it fills the area with smoke. He will try to ambush you by grabbing one of the team with his tong and dragging them off to be constricted by his tong or crushed against whatever you get stuck on. Next is the Hunter who will jump upon his victim and claw them to death. Very quick and agile. Next is the Tank. This fella here is a royal pain in the butt to bring down. He will try to smash you team with his fist or by throwing boulders at you. The whole team must work together to bring this behemoth down. Next is the Witch. Now the witch is a little different then the other special infected in that she is not hunting you but rather randomly in your path. Which means you can most of the time avoid fighting her completely. But should you be unfortunate enough to grab her attention she will attack whoever startled her and kill them quickly so the team must again come together to stop her.

Now your thinking well that's not so bad just learn where there at on a stage and be ready for them. Well normally that would work except this game brings a great mechanic that all the zombies are randomly placed on the stage every time. So you will never play the same stage twice. Adding greatly to the replay value of this game. They use music to let you know when and which special infected is upon you. Graphics are ok running from Valves engine. This game is rated mature in case you didn't notice. So that means not meant for kids so parents do us all a favor and know what your kids are playing for gods sake. O.o

So the final line I give this game an 8.5 out of 10.

And the way this worlds going we need to start preparing for the zombie apocalypse. So when it finally happens the rest of the world will lose there minds and we will be like “no big deal, I kill these things all the time”. JOCOSOB let me know when the zombies start huh.

jamie lynn sigler PICS

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!! not really

"WHITE HOUSE LOVES MSNBC"
Everyone loves Groupies

QUESTION

Are people from Laos called Lice?

jeanie garth

COBRA KAI

I am going to take a break from politics for a moment so that we can discuss the biggest hoax in movie history. We all know the story of the poor ghetto kid from Jersey that moved to California and got his ass kicked everyday by the local "popular" kids right? Most of you probably felt sorry for him and rooted for him through out the movie. Have you asked yourself why?

Lets look at the situation without the Hollywood slant. Here is Johnny and his buddies minding their own business, practicing their karate, riding their dirt bikes and dating the hottest chicks in school. They all come from good families and live in nice neighborhoods etc..

Daniel Larusso is poor, from a broken home, has no skills, no future and no friends and they had to move from Newark to Cali so that his mom could take a temp job. We also know after watching the movie that he is a liar and will say anything and everything to try and make friends with chicks and old asain pedos.

So why did Hollywood make this Daniel (if that is his real name) into some sad character that we should root for? If you ask me they should of ended the movie with Daniel getting his leg sweeped and crying back in the locker room while smoking crack.

PIG FLU DRAMA

1000 PEOPLE WORLD WIDE HAVE IT. You would need a super computer to calculate what percentage of the worlds population that is. Makes you wonder what is really going on right? What is this diverting our attentions from because there is no other reason that this story is getting the coverage it has been given.

Yes the conspiracy theories can start........NOW.

NUMB TO METRO MURDERS?

It seems that murders in KCMO are becoming so common that people have actually stopped caring. Over the past 3 weeks I have been discussing crime in KCMO with some business leaders and the response I have gotten is "I have stopped watching the news due to it" or " I have lost track". I believe that this is due to the lack of emotional attatchment that most people have to this type of violence. Lets face it the idea of your house getting shot up or getting shot at a suburb park are slim to none. So how can you relate?

Well I just read this story about a young 17 year old that was shot execution style by blood gang members. This murder happened to get caught by security cameras and the still have been released to the press. Remember while you are looking at the pictures and reading the article that the man killed was a young father.

Maybe this will wake your ass's up.

THE REPUBLICAN PARTY SUCKS

I tried to come up with a better title for this post but couldn't find one because the party does suck. "Time to leave Reagan behind"?? Are you kidding me? Why in the hell would conservatives ever listen to a politician named Bush again? Bother Father and son have done more damage to the conservative movement than freaking George Soros!

Jeb, please go home

THE WIRE - WELCOME BACK

I knew that you guys had it in you and knew that once the weather cleared up we would be back on track. And what a way to get back on track! 5 shooting in one night! Way to go!

UPDATE: 8 SHOT THIS WEEKEND.
GO TEAM GO!

GRANDVIEW CITIZENS BE AFRAID

I am not sure if everyone in the metro knows this BUT on Sunday afternoons it at "The View" community center in Grandview there is a gathering of some of the biggest losers in the Metro. I heard about this place today and had to drive by just to make sure I wasnt being lied to because I didn't believe that this was happening.

It turns out that on Sundays 100's of douche bags dress up and have midevil battle reenactments. I nearly pissed my pants laughing when I saw this. They were all dressed up and chasing eachother with their pretend swords while their "wenches" looked on. This is no lie.

So if you need a great freaking laugh be sure to drive by this on a Sunday of your choice. I have been told that this happens every week rain or shine.

UPDATE: HOLY CRAP! I just googled grandview sword fighting and found this!

NEW GLOBAL WARMING LINGO

As if these idiots weren't pathetic enough they have to issue talking points on what to call their Green Propaganda campaign.

GUEST POSTER-DEM NUTS - TOM. S.

Here is this weeks installment from Tom. We are lucky to have Tom and his insight into weekly topics facing conservatives on a daily basis. Tom goes to great lengths every week to ensure that he delivers a great post and this week is no exception.
Enjoy,
JOCOSOB

(Highly Condensed) Dem Nuts Weekly Analysis (No. 2, Pub. May 1)

International crap: N. Korea commies re-opening nuclear weapons-grade facility. Swine flu panic goes pandemic. US pork flu panic continues to infect politicians requiring us to pay for treatment until cure for congressional pigism is finally discovered. Egypt subjects 330k hogs to capital execution. Britain withdraws all troops from Iraq. Ignored rest of world crap to save blog space making crime fighter Dr. JOCOSOB happier. Condensing to 1082 word essay impairs snarkiness score; while plummeting readability score to 10th grade level. Something has to go next week.

Domestic Crap: Sat. IMF meeting in DC; hundreds of patriots beaten with batons and pepper spray. Sun. National domestic blog mod take-nap day. Mon. Lots of crap day: a) Congressional swine flu caused by Pelosi Virus HR1 goes panicky; while viral HR2 Reid confirms suspicions of Barry’s delusional megalomania stating “I have a gift, Harry” and b) Barry rhetoric regarding regulating credit card industry is political fluff making me want to ROFLMAO because way too many DC politicians greased regularly by financial PACS; and c) Scare Force One NYC photo op disaster; and d) Gov. Motors proposes to swindle taxpayers 225 sh. for each $1k for our secured loan of 15.4 billion in conspiracy with Treasury Tim. Bad deal usurping Congress will merely allow GM to inflate their balance sheet until default and bankruptcy leave us with $0 billion.

Tues., PA Sen. RINO, 79 yr. Benedict Arnold Specter finally flips ensuring GOP win in 2010. Wed. Revised GPD 6.1% drop confirms Happy Depression Day. To which government, stock mkt. and media ignore; same day of the 100 day mark of Abomination. Congress approves 3.4 trillion historic fed. budget with anticipated record 1.2 trillion deficit. Fed. Res. leaves int. rates at 0% flooding $ hoping to make businesses and consumers spend $ instead of hoarding cash messing up Abomination Plan. Barry’s 100-day speech highlights was a promise of ending no-bid contracts and stating that immigration reform battle will be sometime this year; while ignoring past corrosion of American character on torture. Thur. Joe “the gaffer” Biden recommends to avoid flying/subways and enclosed structures. Fri. S.Ct liberal Souter retires in June which will make Barry’s 1st and hopefully only pick interesting over the summer.

Stock market crap: 50 cent k plans have improved since March 6 to 100 cent k plans. Expect correction soon back to 50 cent k level again as realization we are in a depression starts hitting the reality fan. Appears further delays in May 4 bank stress stuff. Too big to fail banks cannot continue hiding worthless assets on their balance sheets forever. Ken Lewis is BAC history. Chrysler goes Ch. 11.

State Crap: Sat., KS health officials issue holy crap alert confirming two cases of swine flu. Naturally, all were already aware of Congressional Swine Flu hitting KS porkers. (Pelosi Virus HR1). Sun., posts related to a debate on a watered down, pro-friendly unlawful, pro-business immigration bill makes news. KS SB 428 will ensure KS becomes an even bigger refuge state for unlawful immigrants explaining why KS would be a lot better without Sen. John Vratil. Tues., DINO GOV Parkinson’s first speech stating “refreshing time of astonishing renewal” is as bad as a press release by “I want to be KS GOV” Dem Nut Sen. Steineger’s incredible statement ending with “I believe in winning the BBQ!” Both of which indicate Tues. was full moon crashing to earth day, again.

Wed. Horrible HHS appointment of Kate (I refuse to give my real Catholic middle name) Sebelius is finally gone solving many of KS’s problems. Making me ahs happy as the Wizard of Oz. So, Be Happy. Don’t Worry (until Kate does anything official as HHS Sec.). KS Majority Lead O’Neal refuses to schedule joint session with new GOV Parkinson until Thurs. Thurs. New KS GOV Speech. Kate gone, so KS legislature expected to soon override “I love abortion” and “hate energy” vetoes. Fri., Possible state employee pay cuts of 5% instead of 1 day/mo furlough.

Local Crap: I overcame my evil lawn mower Diablo. Son in horrible TX completed his first 42 mile bike rally; while I finished a sloth jog marathon to restroom in record time. Disguised DHS brown shirt came by Mon. pretending to be a US Census worker. (BS here after). BS wanted to confirm the number of my house; despite giant house numbers and things called street signs. A clear DHS rouse demonstrates why POTUS should not be in charge of Census. So, fair warning alert-suspected BS will be around alleging to work for the Census to determine if you are a domestic terrorist.

Made huge 9 cent gain selling DOW making me want to squeal like a capitalist pig. Helped Barry create .00017 jobs by spending $12 on Pelosi HR1 swine flu bbq special. Campaign focused on earmarks solution for 2010. Considered selling political soul to get every Kansan a gazillion bacon dollars. JOCO Tax Appraiser fascists sent notice stating my evidence in an informal non-evidentiary teleconference hearing was not sufficient-new JOCO scheme. Onward to BOTA friends for our annual funfest where I ask for evidence I was never asked for, or given the opportunity to submit. JOCO Sun Editor Chris Rogers is refusing to communicate with me.

Finally, delaying a wrap up on PorkBall series/awarding Golden PorkBall award. Basically, different stuff due to Happy Depression starting this week. Will probably be Republic troll mod again at open forum weekend @ http://kansasjackass.blogspot.com just to annoy dem nut demiwants. New word to add to your political lexicon: If a person that twitters is a twitwit; then by extension, a person that blogs would have to be called a blogwit. That is the final word. On to the top links of the week.

Top Links of the Week worth analyzing: The 100 day-100 mistakes of Barry’s Abomination administration by priority is available at http://www.nypost.com/php/pfriendly/print.php?url=http://www.nypost.com/seven/04252009/postopinion/opedcolumnists/100_days__100_mistakes_166. Can anyone think of 100 good things by priority Barry has done? Hopefully, all domestic terrorists mailed their certificate to Janet “I deserve to be fired” DHS Sec. from last week’s top link @ http://www.reason.com/terroristquiz/. Top invasion of privacy link for demiwant dl photos is @ http://www.license.shorturl.com. Best blog ever remains New Style Kansas Politics @ http://independentkspolitics.blogspot.com. 2nd place, JOCOSOB.

Copyright Legal Mumbo Jumbo. None. Go ahead and steal it. Merely pretend you are a Crook of Congress, Sec. of HHS, Fire Treasury Tim or DHS Sec. “you are all domestic terrorists including sneaky Canadians” Janet.

BORED? DON'T BE. KCWIRED.COM IS HERE TO HELP

If you are like me you typically go to KCWIRED.com to see what the hell is going on in this town. I have had a link up to this guys site for awhile now and love the content of his blog. I am lucky to have him as a weekly contributor.
Enjoy,
JOCOSOB

Thanks to JOCO SOB for allowing me the opportunity to share with you what is going down in KC this weekend. Much like my site KCWIRED.com, we are going to focus on good food, good music and good times. Before I begin with the weekend happenings, there are a few things that I need to disclose. First, I have a favorable bias to all things JOCO and then KCMO. Let’s face it, JOCO is the crown jewel of the KC Metro area. However, we all need to recognize JOCO would not exist without the sounds, flavors and history of KCMO. Regarding KCK and NKC, much like Mexico, we should build a large wall. Enough said.

Speaking of Mexico, Cinco De Mayo is on Martes (Tuesday.) this year and as usual there will be a lot happening in the city the following weekend and I’m going to provide a complete list for you next Friday that will help you decide where to get your FIESTA on! This weekend, we have some fantastic music recommendations for you. Kansas City’s legendary Ida McBeth is performing at Jardines, “the coolest Jazz joint in town” and Mama Ray is performing at the Phoenix on Friday and Saturday night around 7:30. As always, you can avoid the $5 cover at both places if you arrive before six but the real reason to arrive early is to get a table! If the weather cooperates, KCWIRED’s recommendation this weekend is to check out Mama Ray at the Phoenix and finish the night off at John’s Deck up the street where you can enjoy more live music, slightly stiffer drinks, and one of the best views in the city. If the weather is not cooperating (rain), skip John’s deck.. There will be many great days ahead where you can enjoy drinking under the stars. For those who want to rock out, The Killers are playing at Sandstone on Saturday. Check out Ticketmaster.com for available tickets. For those of you that have kids or just want to have a mellow night out, the Boulevard Drive-In is open for business now. The Boulevard is always a great place to spend time with family and friends. In case you didn’t know, the Boulevard is rated one of the top drive-ins in the country. They feature FM transmitted DTS sound to your car stereo and a picture that rivals indoor theatres.. Take a blanket to keep nice and toasty, some cold beverages to save money and some treats for the kids. Remember, children 5 -11years old are only $2.00 per person and children under 5 are free. There is no better way for a family to enjoy an inexpensive night out.

Have an awesome weekend and please share with me how your weekend works out and of course, let me know of any events you would recommend for next weekend! kcwired@kcwired.com.