Sunday, September 28, 2008

THE WIRE


What a weekend so far! Keep up the good work fellas, we are counting on you to set records, ruin the lives of families, scare off business, increase the drug trade and ruin communities.

1. East side crime is starting to take its toll on KCMO's entertainment districts. How long will it be before the fine residents of JOCO abandon Westport and the P&L district? Is getting drunk in an "Urban environment" really worth risking your life over? HEelllllllllllllllll no. JOCO men will soon realize that it is not worth risking life and limb to pick up skanky Missouri chicks. And JOCO women will soon realize that it is not worth sleeping with Missouri guys to get back at their fathers.

2. This guy might have the worst aim & luck in the metro.

3. Independence keeps on being Independence. Poor kid.

4. More baby mama drama on our TV screens. Can we make it one day without an amber alert?

5. Wierd and tragic. That is the only way to describe what happened in the KCK police department this weekend.

THINGS OF NOTE



1. I was hoping to have my website up by now but due to some software issues (SCREW VISTA) I am going to have to put it off for another 30 days. The website will probably suck worst than this blog so I am sparing you all some pain.

2. This month I was able to fire up the smokers and the grill for my sisters going away party. She is heading out to Cali to pursue her career in fashion design. Despite the rain, wind, cold, tall grass and nagging I was able to smoke a pork butt, sausage, and a slab of ribs. It all turned out pretty good thanks to the Weber Smokey Mountain that holds its temperature better than any smoker I have seen. Anyways, Good Luck Kelsie! Make us proud!

3. Dead Dog Walking No More - As I mentioned in a previous post I had a dog that was facing the end of the road. I finally put her down 2 Fridays ago. I sat with her through the whole thing and thought how clueless she was that today was her last day with me (she was usually clueless anyways) and how despite her being a true mutt with no redeeming qualities how much I would miss her.

4. Promotion at work - As many of you can tell the updates are not as timely as they use to be. I recently got a promotion at work that actually makes it so that I have to work. Anyways, I will be opening up a couple of offices for our company over the next 18 months in different cities. But fear not I have an air card and a couple of laptops so the blog will live on.

5. Uncle Again - It seems like every year we are adding to the family. Congratulations to my brother & sister in law on the birth of Annabelle Kathleen. My brother in law FINALLY has the daughter he has always wanted.

6. Motorcycle - I have had some great short rides this month and have realized how much I missed ridding when I was sick. Lets just hope that winter holds off until December. I am hoping to upgrade my bike next year to something a little bit bigger.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

OBAMA SATURDAY PLAYLIST


It is no secret that this blog is anti liberal, commie, Obama, socialist, Obama, dictator etc... The only good thing that could come out of electing Obama is 4 years of blogging material for me. This blog will pretty much write its self if this ass clown gets elected and trust me I will NOT let up on this guy. I have put together a few video highlights that the Main Stream Media still refuse to discuss.

The policies of Obama will turn the rest of America into what Michigan is today.

BIDEN THINKS THAT OBAMA HAS NO TACT

Friday, September 26, 2008

HIP HOP FLASH BACK

KCMO DEATH COUNT




SOMEONE IS KILLED IN KCMO EVERY OTHER DAY! CONGRATULATIONS! BE PROUD! TAKE A BOW FOR YOUR FIRST 100 MURDERS OF THE YEAR.

THE WIRE


Time to play catch up

1. Is it really a surprise that someone got shot by a KCMO school? It was probably part of some new VOTECH class that the district is pushing.

2. Shooting at each other is considered being neighborly in KCMO. Imagine a block party...

3. This headline Cracked me up "Victory Junction Gang Camp in KCK" at first I thought that KCK had finally come to terms with their gang problem and decided it was easier to embrace them. KCMO has something simillar but they call it the KCMOSD.

4. Missouri mother kills baby for crying.

5. Valets get Pistol whipped in the plaza.

6. KCMO is so bad that you can't even eat without carying a stun gun.

7. KCK residents are now dumping bodies near rail road tracks.

8. KCK man has obvously not seen "to catch a predator".

Monday, September 22, 2008

TEN THINGS WORST THAN THE CHIEFS IN KC


It is easy for us Chiefs fans to feel down about our team this year. Let's face it, if we win 1 game it will be a miracle but I am here to cheer you up. Here are Ten things worst than the Chiefs in the metro.

1. Crime in KCK
2. Crime in the East Side.
3. Katie Horner
4. The Kansas City School District
5. The Kansas City Star
6. The Kansas City Zoo
7. The Kansas City Royals
8. The Kansas City Mayor
9. The Kansas City "City Counsel"
10. The Kansas City Blight Rail Plan.

After reading that list I have come to the conclusion that it might only cheer up those of us that live in JOCO. The rest of you guys are freaking DOOMED!

The Wire

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

WILL DAIRY COWS BE IN UNEMPLOYMENT LINES?

HIP HOP FLASHBACK

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME THE COMPLETE LIST

I was about to put together "Things that annoy me Part 5" and it became apparent that I might add something twice. So I put together my last three post in order to prevent that. Also with all of the new readers that have made this blog part of their daily routine I realized that many of you might of missed the first 4.


Getting an automated phone directory that has you push 2 for English.

Asking to see ID when using a Debit Card. I thought the whole idea of the debit card was to enter a PIN # thus eliminating the need of showing a freaking ID.

Office “get togethers” that take place after work or on the weekends. I already see these people more than my family so why in the hell would I want to see them anymore than I have to?

People that don’t vote or keep up on issues that want to discuss a “Headline” that they read in a newspaper and feel that they are subject matter experts. “Well I just read that…..” . So based off of the one article or one broadcast you feel that you now have this topic covered?

The term “The Lake”. Which freaking lake? This is used by every jackass under the age of 40 that goes to the Lake of the Ozarks.

Recreational sports guy. This ass clown gives you his box score from last nights double header at Millers Woods, or tells you about the “great round” of golf he shot this weekend, every weekend. Funny thing about Golf guy is that every time you play a round of golf with him it is his “worst round ever” and that he needs new clubs.

Word of the day. If you need a word emailed to you in order to sound intelligent, chances are it is too late.

Lane closed ahead signs, when the lane isn’t closed.

Getting two packets of taco sauce at Taco Bell for 4 people when going through the drive through.

People on Welfare for over a year. Unemployment is at an all time low in America and everyone is hiring. Living off of my tax dollars should be considered stealing and these people should be arrested and sentenced to work farms. Better yet they should be on call for tax payers. The more in taxes you pay the more hours of work you can get out of them. Why should I put in a 50 hour work week and come home to cut the grass. Call 1-800- WEL-FARE and get your lawn mowed.

Illegal Immigration Activists: Go fix the crap in your own country before you come here illegally and demand that we change our laws to suit you and your crimes.

Non HD programming on TV. I pay for 500 channels and only watch 30 because they are in HD. If I want to pay for HD programming only I should be allowed to.

The Chiefs: Carl Peterson had 6 good years and 13 bad ones yet he still has a job. What other profession other than meteorologist can you get away with that.

Movie Quote guy: This idiot is incapable of carrying on a conversation on his own and has to resort to quoting movies in order to be humorous. He also assumes that everyone has memorized every movie made since 1968.

The “Kiss Hello”. We live in the Midwest not Europe.

School Fund Raisers: Our oldest daughter attends a private school in which we pay a very large sum to on a monthly basis yet they milk us for money at every turn. It is a lot like buying a car and then having to pay extra for the steering wheel and tires.

Gas price complainers: "Did you see that gas went up 3 cents over night, good thing I bought last night in that town 50 miles from my home".

Fat People that ride the Rascals at the store: YOU ARE NOT CRIPPLED!!!!!!, You are however Fat and lazy and no I will not get the box of snack cakes off the top shelf for you.

Health Food Activist: I like dolphin in my tuna, red dye #5, sugar subs that actually taste like sugar and salt on my foods.

Double Dippers. These people should have their hands cut off.

The part time patriot.

Bicyclist that feel that riding on the road means they get a whole lane to themselves. This isn’t the Tour De JOCO. If you must ride in the street stay close to the gutter.

The fast food Drive Through. You have 2 simple tasks in your job. Take money, put CORRECT ORDER IN THE BAG, THAT’S IT. Yet this simpleton isn’t even capable of handling this.

55mph on 435 or I 35. Why this person even attempts to navigate the highway is beyond me. They look out onto the highway like scared deer with a death grip on the steering wheel as cars fly right by them at a whopping 65mph. These people cause more accidents than speeders.

People from St. Louis that think their city is on the East Coast. Last time I checked our sewage runs down stream.

Celebs that help Africa first and the citizens of this country 2nd. Hey Oprah, I am sure that the Chicago public schools wouldn’t mind if you helped them out. I am sure your limo drives by thousands of homeless people on the way to the studio that could use some of your Africa money.

People that hate JOCO but work here and spend the majority of their time in the community. Why work in a community that you hate? That’s right, the community you live in has no jobs.

The makers of deodorant that do not automatically put in antiperspirant. Who the hell thought this was a good idea? Is there really a segment of our society that doesn’t mind having sweat stains on there shirts as long as they smell like an Irish Spring?

People that will spend 5 minutes digging through there pockets in order to produce “EXACT CHANGE” at the cash register. This moron thinks that it is some sort of sport and does a fist pump once they find it.

PEOPLE THAT WRITE CHECKS OUT ONCE IT IS THEIR TURN TO PAY. This ass clown has been in line staring at nothing for 8 minutes yet the thought never crosses their mind to break out the check book and get everything filled out except the total. GOOD LORD!

People that press 2 in the elevator. Seriously you can’t walk up that one flight of steps?

Discount scan cards: Why do I need to carry a little card that I paid nothing for, that anyone can get that is scanned before I can get a discount? Am I part of some special club? Are people suppose to see the Price Chopper card in my wallet and be impressed?

The fact that on Saint Patrick's Day everyone suddenly is part Irish.

Crappy automatic car washes. My car should not look worst when I fork over $12 to get it clean
.
Sick People out in public. Thanks for getting me sick jackass.

The cable company replacing technology that works with crap that doesn't. The new box's that Time Warner is using are pieces of crap.

Moving - Even when you hire movers it is a pain in the ass. If I ever move again I will be hiring packers as well.

People that complain about their comments not being published.

Cold weather - I am sick of this crap. Seriously, snow on freaking Easter?

Ignorant Sports "Fans".

Clutter

No more full service gas stations. Why the hell don't we have these things anymore? I would pay a little extra if it meant that I didn't have to get out of the car in the freaking cold. What joy do people get out of pumping their own gas?

Slow grocery sackers.

15 minute wait at restaurants. Why is it that it is always 15 minutes?

Reality TV Shows.

People that make it their goal to remain in you blind spot while driving.

16 year old driving a Lexus.

People that leave VM's saying that they called on my cell phone. Most cell phones tell you if you missed a call yet these idiots want you to dial your vm and go through all the menu options just to hear them say "gimme a call".

Websites that automatically play music, commercials etc.. when you visit them.

Left hand turns.

People that hang out at coffee houses.

Those that are quick to point out every problem in the world yet never have solutions. I avoid this on my blog, most everything I cover I have at one point or another given solutions to what I consider to be problems. Having read through some local "opinion" blogs in the past few months I rarely see any solutions offered by critics.

People that guilt you for not recycling.

Subscription cards in magazines. How many of these things do we need? Do the publishers think we are going to hand them out to our friends?

Magic acts

Bands that still don't have their music on ITunes.

Auto Dealerships that put their emblem on the back of your car. They can charge a $200 documentation fee but we get nothing for free advertising?

Catholic Charities - These guys are nothing more than shake down artists.

Stores that have no guns allowed signs posted on their windows. These stores can usually be seen on the news after a mass shooting has taken place inside there store by someone who must of missed that sign.

Unsolicited Advice. If I thought you would give good advice I would probably ask.

People that bring their own bags to the grocery store.

Claymation - Thanks for sharing your play-doh puppet show.

Movies with subtitles & Foreign Films.

Tampon & Viagra commercials on TV.

Elvis fans. The guy stole 90% of his music.

Ring Tones

Dane Cook - The most unfunny white guy on the planet.

Adults that "Party!" like they are still in college or high school and then have to tell you about it.

Applebee's - How this crap hole is still open is beyond me.

People that don't get rid of their nose hairs.

Rich celebrities flying in private jets, telling me what kind of light bulb to use and to not flush my toilet.

People that steal from my blog. If you lack originality at least give me credit. It amazes me how often this has been happening lately.

I HOPE K STATE FANS BROUGHT THEIR PURPLE KLEENEX



WAY TO SHOW UP LAST NIGHT FELLAS. NOTHING BEATS LOSING TO AN UNRANKED TEAM. And did I hear Prince mention a 5 year plan? That worked for the Chiefs....

QUICK HITS


Ten stories to take your mind off of Wall Street and prevent you from over reacting (like the rest of America).

1. Cat killing might not just be a KCK thing. This psycho kept a diary about the cat he ended up killing.

2. Is an Xbox worth murdering someone over? I may be the wrong person to ask this question due to my Call of Duty 4 addiction.

3. This woman has seen "Never been Kissed" one too many times.

4. If you like reading about messed up houses of filth as much as I do then you will enjoy this one about a house full of cockroaches in Florida.

5. Brad Pitt leaves his options open

6. The KC Red Star cuts more staff as readers continue to turn to blogs for their news instead of left wing slant.

7. Has anything good EVER happened in Sugar Creek? Talk about your doomed town.

8. Rappers get ready to ride the coattails of TECH N9ne. Could KC hip hop finally break through?

9. Ingrams magazine talks about the need for new downtown hotel.

10. While the East side burns down vacants Leawood is celebrating Park Place.

THE WIRE


1. JOCO grandma robbed at ATM on her way to play bridge.

2. March all you want East Side, the bullets will only stop when you take real action. Enjoy your latest statistic on Paseo as you pat yourselves on the back for your parade.

3. KCMO's murder squad is working longer hours solving crimes that have happened due to the citizens inability to stop crimes before they happen.

4. Warmer weather means the return of the KC arsonist. 27th & Wabash. On a side note, don't you ever find it funny that when they report estimated damage to homes in the East Side or KCK that the dollar value is typically less than the price of the cars most in JOCO drive?