THIS HAS POTENTIAL

OMAHA, Neb -- State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. He said on Monday that it is to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.

• I would like to see "Allah" sued for September 11th.
• The sun for global warming.
• Celine Dion for noise pollution.
• Santa Clause for animal cruelty.
• The Tooth Fairy for price gouging.
• Easter Bunny for promoting the genocide of chickens.
  
• Hallmark Cards for the creation of made up holidays in order to sell cards.
  

DEAR HOLLYWOOD, NOBODY CARES

Weak showing for Emmys Show draws smallest audience on record By RICK KISSELL
The "Primetime Emmy Awards" on Fox drew the kudocast's second smallest audience on record Sunday night, averaging 13.1 million viewers, according to preliminary nationals from Nielsen.

This year's audience comes in well below the 16.2 million that NBC garnered for its late-August telecast a year ago and the 18.7 million that watched on CBS two years ago. That puts television's biggest night behind the most recent audience for other kudocasts like the Academy Awards on ABC (40.2 million), the Grammy Awards on CBS (20.1 million), the Golden Globe Awards on NBC (20.0 million) and the Country Music Assn. Awards on ABC (16.0 million).

In adults 18-49, this year's preliminary 4.3 rating/11 share is a 17% falloff from last year's 5.2/13 and believed to be the lowest on record. It was the night's No. 2 program in the demo, with NBC's New England-San Diego NFL matchup expected to produce roughly a 6.7 rating/17 share.

The smallest Emmy audience on record remains the 1990 telecast, also on Fox, which drew 12.3 million viewers.

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This is what happens when the general public knows that the show is going to be nothing more than a protest rally for all of the "well informed" actors and actresses of the world. Stop meeting with dictators like Hugo Chavez and telling us all how to live our lives and maybe, just maybe people will watch. It appears that the only people that tuned in were the lemmings awaiting there marching orders from Leo, Ben and Rosie (all of which are subject matter experts in the military, economics, environmental patterns and ethics).

Things of note over the weekend

1. People are cheap. I would rather throw stuff in the trash than haggle with them.
2. Mongolians cannot translate BBQ
3. Sally Field is a communist, of course so is much of Hollywood.
4. Alan Greenspan is senile.
5. Windows Vista is a pain in the ass to install but once it is in it is worth it.
6. My wife has no memory retention after 8:30pm, this is a good and bad thing.
7. The IPOD I want is not coming out for 2 more weeks.
8. Do not believe the internet when shopping. Big Wheels and Weber Smokers were not suppose to be available in the KC area and could only be purchased online. Both were brought home this weekend without ordering online.
9. OJ should stick to murder, robbery is not in his skill set.
10. Mike Solari couldn’t guide an offense to a touchdown in Madden.
11. Giuliani is not scared of moveon.org or Hillary
12. Wal-Mart is crap.

Inmates have more fight in them than Chiefs

Fight forces lockdown at Jackson County Jail
A fight broke out last night in the Jackson County Lockup facility according to the Star. This wouldn't be news if it weren't for the subject of the fight, the Chiefs. And why wouldn't they be upset? Some of these guys gave up yard time to watch yet another debacle. I am sure Trey Dog is sick of losing smokes over this teams end zone phobia.

The fact that those with no other options in life on a Sunday other than watching the Chiefs will soon be changing the channel should make Carl Peterson feel good about his team.

MEXICAN TRUCKS HIT OUR ROADS

Thanks to the creators of NAFTA not only do we have to beware of our "highly skilled" truckers on our highways but also those of the 100 mexican truck carriers that were allowed to start crossing the border last week.

This makes perfect sense at a time in which illegal immigration is a problem. It makes perfect sense at a time when National Security is at an all time high. I am sure that the Mexican Government is doing everything in its power to ensure the safety of the United States.

Does Univision have a CB Channel?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

These two women can't fly yet the nasty Rosie ODonnel Clone that sat next to me on my way back from Dallas is allowed?

Grape Drink:NSFW

I had thought that everyone had seen this stand up act. That is until this morning when one of the morons in my office grabbed a bottle of Grape Water instead of regular water. He then asked how thy make Grape water. The brain power that is used in my office if harnessed properly might be enough to power a 5 watt light bulb.

THE LAST SAMURAI

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. —
Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Bloomington police have filed a preliminary charge of battery against a man accused of attacking a woman with a sword in an argument over a puppy.

Police officers arrested 26-year-old Ashunti Taylor after an 18-year-old woman went to Bloomington Hospital's emergency room for treatment of an 8- to 9-inch cut on her buttocks Monday night.

The woman told officers she was at Taylor's home to see the puppy, when Taylor became confrontational and began to complain about items that the puppy had chewed. Police say that when the woman threatened to leave with the puppy, Taylor struck her with the black-handled samurai-style sword.

Taylor remains in the Monroe County Jail. The puppy wasn't injured

Sickness in Texas

CORSICANA, Texas — A 6-year-old Texas girl was found hanged in her garage Monday and police were investigating the case as a homicide, MyFOXDFW.com reports.

Hannah Mack was discovered Monday by her mother, Dana, hanging in the garage with a rope around her neck in Navarro Mills Lake, about 65 miles south of Dallas, and there were signs that she had been sexually abused, the station reported. "I just touched her arm and I wanted to get her down so bad," Dana Mack told MyFOXDFW.com.
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This may be the worst one yet. I hope to god that they catch this sick bastard. I want to know where the parents were when all of this was happening?

CHIEFS FANS, YOU ARE IGNORANT

For the past 6 weeks all that I have heard is how Herman Edwards has destroyed the Chiefs great offense. These are the same idiots that for the past 12 years thought that we were only one player away from getting to the Super Bowl. I wonder sometimes if we are rooting for the same team and watching the same games how they miss so much.

1. Dick Vermiel and Carl Peterson assembled a team full of veterans 6 years ago. These players were old then and haven't been getting younger.
2. Trent Green was a journeyman quarterback that fit the system that Dick and Al wanted to run. He was awful his first year in the system, earning himself the name TrINT. He got older, less mobile and finally broke. The Chiefs have never developed there own quarterback and have missed in all attempts to draft one.

3. Willie Roaf and Will Shields retired. Two hall of fame players are no longer part of the offensive line. To top that off all of the Chiefs draft picks at O line have been flops so there was nobody ready to take there place.
4. Priest Holmes, Broken. Larry Johnson is an excellent back but he is not the complete back that Priest was. To think though Dick Vermiel didn't want to take Johnson but instead wanted to take a defensive lineman that has so far turned into a bust in the league.
5. Eddie Kennison is old.
6. Dumped Tony Richardson. The best fullback in football could of been resigned but they just let him go to Minnesota.

How is Herm Edwards responsible for these things? Not only did he have to deal with all of the above but he had to rebuild a terrible defense. If you want to blame someone blame the late Lamar Hunt and Clark Hunt for keeping a man that is terrible at his job employed for 19 years.

As a longtime fan of the Chiefs I am embarrassed at the lack of football knowledge our city has. For a city that claims to have the best fans we certainly don't show it.

YES, MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

KERRY MADE AN EXCELLENT LASAGNA, FROM SCRATCH!

THINGS THAT ANNOY ME PART 1

Getting an automated phone directory that has you push 2 for English.

Asking to see ID when using a Debit Card. I thought the whole idea of the debit card was to enter a PIN # thus eliminating the need of showing a freaking ID.

Office “get togethers” that take place after work or on the weekends. I already see these people more than my family so why in the hell would I want to see them anymore than I have to?

People that don’t vote or keep up on issues that want to discuss a “Headline” that they read in a newspaper and feel that they are subject matter experts. “Well I just read that…..” . So based off of the one article or one broadcast you feel that you now have this topic covered?

The term “The Lake”. Which freaking lake? This is used by every jackass under the age of 40 that goes to the Lake of the Ozarks.

Recreational sports guy. This ass clown gives you his box score from last nights double header at Millers Woods, or tells you about the “great round” of golf he shot this weekend, every weekend. Funny thing about Golf guy is that every time you play a round of golf with him it is his “worst round ever” and that he needs new clubs.

Word of the day. If you need a word emailed to you in order to sound intelligent, chances are it is too late.

Lane closed ahead signs, when the lane isn’t closed.

Getting two packets of taco sauce at Taco Bell for 4 people when going through the drive through.

People on Welfare for over a year. Unemployment is at an all time low in America and everyone is hiring. Living off of my tax dollars should be considered stealing and these people should be arrested and sentenced to work farms. Better yet they should be on call for tax payers. The more in taxes you pay the more hours of work you can get out of them. Why should I put in a 50 hour work week and come home to cut the grass. Call 1-800- WEL-FARE and get your lawn mowed.

Illegal Immigration Activists: Go fix the crap in your own country before you come here illegally and demand that we change our laws to suit you and your crimes.

Non HD programming on TV. I pay for 500 channels and only watch 30 because they are in HD. If I want to pay for HD programming only I should be allowed to.

The Chiefs: Carl Peterson had 6 good years and 13 bad ones yet he still has a job. What other profession other than meteorologist can you get away with that.

Movie Quote guy: This idiot is incapable of carrying on a conversation on his own and has to resort to quoting movies in order to be humorous. He also assumes that everyone has memorized every movie made since 1968.

The “Kiss Hello”. We live in the Midwest not Europe.

School Fund Raisers: Our oldest daughter attends a private school in which we pay a very large sum to on a monthly basis yet they milk us for money at every turn. It is a lot like buying a car and then having to pay extra for the steering wheel and tires.

Gas price complainers: "Did you see that gas went up 3 cents over night, good thing I bought last night in that town 50 miles from my home".

Fat People that ride the Rascals at the store: YOU ARE NOT CRIPPLED!!!!!!, You are however Fat and lazy and no I will not get the box of snack cakes off the top shelf for you.

Health Food Activist: I like dolphin in my tuna, red dye #5, sugar subs that actually taste like sugar and salt on my foods.

Double Dippers. These people should have their hands cut off.

The part time patriot.

From the school that cried about Nappy Headed Ho?

Obscene fans at Rutgers draw a penalty flag Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Mark Di Ionno
The play came late in the game, when Rutgers expanded its lead over Navy to a comfortable level after a tight three quarters. Navy's Reggie Campbell took the kickoff and ran full speed ahead up the middle with all the force his 168-pound body could generate. Campbell, almost always the smallest and fastest man on the field, hit a wall of XXXL-sized scarlet jerseys and was slammed to the ground at the bottom of the pile. He got up slowly, limping off. This gutsy kid, a slotback who already spent three quarters being chased and tackled by gangs of defensive linemen and linebackers, all weighing at least 100 pounds more than him, was then given a dose of Rutgers' student section class. ''You got f---ed up. You got f---ed up. You got f--ed-up," they chanted.

Toward the end of the second half, Rutgers students in the new bleacher section began to serenade the adjacent section of Navy fans and uniformed Midshipmen.

''F--- you, Navy. F---you, Navy. F--- you, Navy."

Some will excuse the behavior as kids just being kids, out to have a loutish, drunken good time. Spewing obscenities at the visiting team is just part of the fun. But you'd hope our Jersey kids would be smart enough to make an exception for the service academies, especially the weekend before the anniversary of Sept. 11, their generation's own Day of Infamy. You'd hope they'd be sensitive enough to realize that some of those Midshipmen may soon be among the young American men and women fighting and bleeding and dying in Iraq and Afghanistan. Young Americans, the same age as those safe in the stands watching a football game with their faces and bodies painted red.

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Unbelievable double standard.

NEW TRON MOVIE

TORONTO -- Commercial director Joseph Kosinski is in final negotiations to develop and direct "Tron," described as "the next chapter" of Disney's 1982 cult classic. Sean Bailey is producing via the Live Planet banner, as is Steven Lisberger, who co-wrote and directed the original film.

Kosinski, who last month signed on to helm the remake of "Logan's Run" for Warner Bros. Pictures, will oversee the visual development of the project and have input on the script, which is being written by "Lost" scribes Eddie Kitsis and Adam Horowitz. Story details are being kept secret.

The original, about a computer programr thrust into a computer and forced to fight in games he helped create, is remembered for its sci-fi gladiator-style battles and groundbreaking special effects. It was the first movie to use computer-generated images instead of models and other optical effects in conjunction with live action. The arcade game based on the movie was so popular that it earned more than the movie.
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We were just discussing the old Tron on Labor Day. Normally I don't like Sci-Fi movies but I may give this a look.

If ever there was proof that Drugs are bad-Britney Spears

Last nights performance by Britney Spears has now replaced the cracked egg in the frying pan demonstration for the "your brain on drugs" commercial. How in the hell did her people let her get like this?

Men every where that thought they would never have a shot with Britney Spears are not returning her calls.