GOT JOKES?

The emails have been flowing all week at work, home, text messages, message boards and even in the grocery store check out. Here are some of the better ones I have received over the past 4 days.
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A KU fan was driving home from a national taxidermy convention in St. Louis. He got kind of tired and hungry, and decided to pull over to a quaint little bar in Columbia to get a bite to eat.

He stepped inside, and immediately could feel the whole place's eyes on him. It was clear these people didn't take to kindly to outsiders. They were rather rough, country hillbilly looking folk. Just the same, he stepped up to the bar and sat down.
The redneck looking-guy behind the bar eyed the KU fan suspiciously. "What are you doin' here?" he snarled. The KU fan said simply, "I'd like something to eat."

"Who are you?" growled the hillbilly. "Well," said the KU fan, "I'm heading back to Kansas--I just attended the taxidermy convention over the weekend."

All of the eyes in the place were still on him. "Taxidermy? What the hell is that?"

"Well, I clean and mount dead animals."

Immediately the KU fan could sense the tension in the bar start to ease. "Don't worry about it Jimbo," the hillbilly called back into the kitchen. "He's one of us."
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Q: What do you call a beautiful woman on the arm of an MU fan?

A: A tattoo
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What's the difference between a room full of Mizzou fans and a litter of puppies?
The puppies will stop whining eventually.
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A guy walks into a bar in Columbia, sits down at the bar and tells the bartender he has a great Missouri joke. The bartender states, "before you tell that joke, the two guys working the door played football at MU, the other bartender played basketball at MU, and the three guys at the other end of the bar were born and raised here in Columbia. Now I ask you, are you sure you want to tell that joke?" The guy replies, "hell no, I don't want to explain it seven times."
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Pink·el [pink - ehl], noun, verb, - ed, - ing

- noun

1. An unexpected sub-par team performance in NCAA football, usually resulting in a untimely and inopportune loss. The game usually features questionable coaching decisions and lack of adjustments.

Jim Tressel pulled a Pinkel when he lost at home against an underdog Illinois team, severely hurting the Buckeye's national championship hopes.

tr.v. pinkel - ed, pinel - ing

1. The completion or ongoing action of a Pinkel.

Mike Gundy stood stoically on the sideline as he Pinkeled away the game to Troy University.

Word History: The word Pinkel started as slang during the 2003 NCAA football season, when a talented Missouri football team traveled to Lawrence, KS and was upset by an unheralded squad that had finished 2-10 the previous season. Missouri went on to finish the season at 8-5, a 3 game improvement, but some questions lingered about Coach Pinkel's ability to match up with his border rival.
The word became an accepted part of the English vernacular during the 2004 season when Pinkel's Tigers, a pre-season Big 12 North favorite, lost in embarrassing fashion to Troy University, a program that just recently attained Division 1 status. Noted football analyst Lee Corso noted Pinkel's lack of adjustments and extreme "deer in headlights" look during the game. The word was applicable throughout the season and every season thereafter. The most egregious Pinkel by the Tigers during 2004 was against the rival Jayhawks, 3-7 at the time and starting their 4th string QB. They came to Columbia and upset a Missouri team still fighting for an opportunity to represent the Big 12 North in the conference championship game.
2005 and 2006 featured examples that cemented the word's meaning.

In 2005, the Tigers lost for the third straight season to the Jayhawks, during a period where the Kansas squad was mired in its worst offensive slump during the Mark Mangino era. The loss once again kept the Tigers from representing the Big 12 North in the Big 12 title game. In 2006, after a 6-0 start, coach Pinkel proceeded to lose a game after a generous pay raise. He also pulled possibly his greatest Pinkel, losing to an Iowa State squad spiraling out of control playing for a lame duck coach. The Big 12 denied Pinkel's request that the game be counted as a "moral victory" due to a controversial holding call near the end of the 4th quarter.
2007 has seen a lack of a Pinkel, as the Missouri coach fights to render the meaning of the word empty. He will get an opportunity in the season's most meaningful game, a match up against an 11-0 Jayhawk squad on a neutral field.

KU NEWS & NOTES FROM AROUND THE COUNTRY

The border war is finally getting the national coverage that it has deserved. For decades this game has been underrated by the press, until now. Here are some articles out on the net today concerning this game and your team. Enjoy.

If I missed anything let me and others know, post a comment with a link.

SI ARTICLE

FOX SPORTS

ESPN

PRIEST HOLMES RETIRED

Today's announcement wasn't as painful to listen to as it would of been if he hadn't of been gone for the past couple of years. It is still sad to see a class act like him have to give up on his dream. Class act, that is something that you will never hear anyone besides Larry Johnsons mother say about him. Larry Johnson is the antiHolmes. All the good and unselfishness that Priest has given to the Chiefs has been canceled out by Larry Johnsons wanna be East Coast mentality.

I wish Priest Holmes the best of luck in his future endeavors and hope to god that some of his influence will rub off on the wannabe gangster Johnson.

ANOTHER BLACK OUT?

FROM ALONZOS BLOG
2007 has been a terrible year for racial profiling & police abuse regarding African Americans in the Kansas City area. Two pregnant Black women (Sophia Salva & Yvette Hayes) were forced on the ground by different police agencies for no justifiable reason. One woman lost her baby and both women have filed lawsuits. Another KCK Black family has filed a lawsuit against the KCK Police Department for abuse after the police crashed into their home and called them the N-word. Finally, even a well known anti crime community activist (Ron McMillan) was abused at the hands of local police.

Lawsuits are not the only way the Black community plans on dealing with these injustices. There is a national movement to take the Black out of Black Friday.

Local activists will tie into this national boycott by asking local African Americans not to shop at JCPenny during Black Friday & over the holiday weekend. JCPenny is the corporation that originally racially profiled Yvette Hayes and set into motion the chain of events that lead the pregnant woman to end up face down on the ground on the side of the highway. Futhermore, the company has made no attempt to reach out to the Black community to explain or to defend the charges Miss Hayes has made against them.

Activist, Alonzo Washington, activist, Ron McMillan (National Coalition of Jena 6) & a member of American Friends are leading the boycott in Kansas City.
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I am sure that Penny's is terrified about this. Remember how successful the last one of these was? Yeah me neither.

KU FOOTBALL ON THE COVER OF SI

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NOT THE CURSE!

WOULD THE PERSON FROM FRANCE

STOP READING MY BLOG. THAT IS ALL.

K State crybabies

It amazes me how many K State football fans (something that didn't exist 12 years ago) are jumping on the MU Football program bandwagon. This is almost as big of a game for them as it is for KU or MU. I have several friends that played football back in the mid 90's for Snyder and they are embarrassed by the way that their fans are acting. They feel that the more that K State fans jump on the MU bandwagon the better it makes KU's success, they are right.

K State fans are new to cheering for athletics so they have no real loyalty. Most K State fans didn't even know they had a football team until the early 90's. Then on the day they were to honor the man that turned around (for a few years) their football program, they couldn't even fill up the stadium. This is why K State can never be a real rival, they don't get it. When would you ever catch a KU fan cheering for an MU or K State victory? When would you catch a KU fan acting as if K State or MU was their team? You wouldn't.
K State fans need to sit this one out and develop your own historic rivalries instead of jumping on ours. You are just embarrassing yourselves.

TOP TEN BURGERs IN KANSAS CITY

These are as usual in no order.

1. Corner Cocktail 83rd & Wornall - Dive bar with a great Bacon Cheddar Burger.
2. LC's
3. Max's Autodiner - Wornall Road
4. Westport Flea Market
5. Fred P. Otts
6. Johnny's
7. Fuddruckers
8. Culvers
9. Red Robin
10. McCoys Public House - Westport

KCI Racetrack???????

NOW ALL I NEED IS A FERRARI OR PORSCHE.

Motorcycle membership: 15k up front with a 2k kicker every year.

2003 HIGHLIGHTS

I POSTED THIS BECAUSE OF THE JOSEY WELLS INTRO

QUICK HITS

1. Looking for something to buy great grandpa for Christmas this holiday season? Well I have you covered. I imagine demand for this item to be pretty high, so if they are sold out go ahead and get a Shar Pei calender. Great Grandpa will never know the difference.
2. A man called "tree man" has been refused entrance into the United States for treatment of his bark like skin disease. You can expect this guy to be in Arizona by weeks end with a Drivers License, Social Security Card, Job and welfare check as soon as he discovers the Mexican Immigration system.
3. At least it wasn't an alter boy?
4. Ric Flair is supporting Huckabee. When it comes to making my presidential decision every year I typically hold out for Ric Flairs choice. WHOOOOOOOOOOoo!
5. When you are at a club late at night in KCMO stuff like this typically happens. There is at least one story a week of something like this happening. #18 (in danger) and climbing!

NAPPY HEADED HOES BEWARE

Don Imus is set to return in 2 weeks. This is good news for race baiters and professional protesters across the country looking for something to do this holiday season.

QUICK HITS

1. Environmental wackos want you to start drinking milk, from rats. Gaylord Focker has no comment regarding his prior rat milking experience.
2. 6 year old student frightens educators with stick figure drawings? The real question here is why is a 6 year old still drawing stick figures? They should fire the kids art teacher.
3. When the liberals in this country limit our ability to drill for oil you get idiots like Hugo Chavez and alphabet from Iran making these types of threats.
4. Poor Hillary. She is a candidate with no real home and it looking more and more like the White House will not be her home as well.
5. Finally a home for Katie Horner. These people get rocked by a cyclone at least once a year and to this date they still don't know what to do. Katie can fix that.
6. Pelosi knows what it takes for businesses to be successful and speaking English is not one of them?

GRANDPA SIMPSONS TAKE ON MISSOURI

LISTEN TO YOUR ELDERS!

TAKE A BOW Kansas City Kansas

The area has been full of excitement with the local college football & basketball success that has happened this year. All of the area teams are ranked in the top #25 in at least one sport this rarely happens. Today news came out that KCK has achieved a top #25 ranking as well.

TOP 25 MOST DANGEROUS CITIES TO LIVE IN (UNITED STATES).The report looked at 378 cities with at least 75,000 people based on per-capita rates for homicide, rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary and auto theft.

This might catch some of the residents by surprise because they have been smoke & mirrored by the Village West (look for them to try and join Douglas county soon). Some others might claim that Wyco just suffers from bad PR (whatever that means). Well the reason that they might suffer from bad PR is because the stats back it up. The former Iraqi Information Minister wouldn't take this PR gig.

If you don't want the stigma that goes along with such an honor then clean it up (as some in this story have complained). As long as KCK continues to hold this distinction/honor people will continue to use it as a quick little destination spot to visit and then leave. With high property taxes, dangerous schools and high crime it is going to make it tougher and tougher for this community to compete with North Kansas City, Lee Summit, JOCO, Raymore etc.... KCK has good residents and neighborhoods but not nearly enough. KCK continues to fall behind the rest of the state in wages earned, people living below poverty (18% compared to 11%) and graduation rate. Keep in mind that those numbers are the mere state of ks numbers.

The solution? Lower taxes and increase patrols by KCK officers. The city spend far to much money taking care of those that refuse to take care of themselves. If you cut them off they will go away. If you arrest them, they will go away. If you continue to ignore and make excuses it will still the same.