Monday, November 24, 2008
KMBZ MORNING NEWS HOMELESS REPORT
Journalism in this town has gotten awfully lazy if this is the type of mindless predictable reporting that we can count on. Instead of exploiting the poor homeless bastards at the shelters for ratings how about you get off your lazy ass and investigate the local crime problem. Interview some drug dealers, people that live in the projects occupied by gang bangers etc..
QUICK HITS
The Top Ten Stories that Jocoians under the protection of SOB MAN should be reading today. Those of you that have Omega Man as your crime fighting buddy, please read these links when the bullets stop flying or you are in the waiting room at the hospital.
1. The Chinese arent big fans of the new Guns & Roses album. This confirms my theory that they were the one behind the delay of its release. It also leads me to believe that Tupac is being held captive in a Chinese Prison camp.
2. You might be a dumb ass if you get shot by a freaking dog.
3. Astronauts will soon drink their own piss. Is this really the best we can do for them? And why don't we have urine to booze machines set up in KCMO homeless camps? It could cut down on the begging.
4. KCK criminals are too ignorant to make "THE WIRE" section of this blog. The latest example involves a KCK school product robbign a Verizon store of fake Cell Phones. NICE ONE JUNIOR!
5. New Orleans continues to be a haven for the most violent criminals in America. This is the city where KCMO/KCK killlers with potential go to join the big leauges.
6. Now that the election is over Obama doesn't have to pretend to be religious.
7. Canada likes fat people.
8. You are never to young to learn the proper way of using a pencil.
9. While hard working Americans across the country are battling a recession ELITIST LEFTIST actors are setting up a Strike.
10. Kidney Stone surgery leads to getting hands and feet amputated.
THANK YOU KANSAS STATE
I would like to take a moment to thank the smart people out in Manhattan, Ks for bringing back Snyder. I was truly worried that Kansas State might go out and grab a big name coach with a lot of upside to turn their program around.
The hiring of Snyder ensures that the Purple Towel waving hillbillies to the West will remain losing.
The hiring of Snyder ensures that the Purple Towel waving hillbillies to the West will remain losing.
THE WIRE - WEEKEND RECAP
I would like to thank the local crime community for keeping up their good work even though the temps continue to fall.
1. The one thing that Quick Trip doesn't offer is treatment for gunshot wounds (as this poor bastard found out). Considering this stores location they ought to consider opening up a treatment center next to the Rooster Booster stand.
2. KCMO arsonist take advantage of sinking gas prices.
3. Murder in South KC Housing projects errrrrrrrrrrr Apartment Complex
4. "POP, POP, POP" is NOT the sound of a breakfast cereal on Paseo.
As you will notice SOB MAN was busy protecting JOCO and preventing the county under his protection from making the list. Can the same be said about other local "super hero crime fighters".
Friday, November 21, 2008
JINGLE BOMBS
If it isn't too early for Christmas music on the radio then it isn't too early for Jingle Bombs on the Blog
SOB MAN IS ON IT
Today in Olathe we had yet another instance of White on White Crime. SOB MAN NEEDS YOUR HELP. If you have any information in regards to the attempted abduction of a female meter reader in Olathe please send me an email. At that time I will call a press conference and claim that I "fought" crime.
20 REASONS JOCO RESIDENTS SHOULD BE THANKFUL
With all the negativity on the news lately it might be hard for some of you to find reasons to be thankful. When that happens just remember that you are a JOCOIAN and you are blessed to live in a county full of growth, inclusiveness and prosperity. It could be worst
1. Knowing that your dinner was purchased by you and not by elementary school kids from a different state and county.
2. That your county doesn't fall under the protection of Omega "Racist" Man
3. Public Schools aren't a nationwide joke
4. We have a neighboring county that will continue to flip the bill on our entertainment venues.
5. Oklahoma Joes BBQ is better than Gates or Bryants
6. We can typically live in the county that we work in.
7. We watch "A Christmas Carol" and feel bad for Tiny Tim. KCMO kids are envious of all that Tiny Tim has.
8. We don't have a single street named after a corrupt politician let alone 2.
9. We have no idea who the spouse of the Mayor of Overland Park is.
10. Our shopping district isn't built by an open Septic Tank.
11. We were smart enough to vote against BiState.
12. Our police departments don't have to order crime scene tape and chalk by the pallet.
13. It isn't NEWS if a grocery store opens in our county.
14. We can laugh everytime someone says that KCMO has "culture" and diversity and that is why they live there. The reason we laugh is becuase we know that the people saying that live in the most segregated city in the midwest and couldn't tell you how to get to the Art Museum.
15. Our kids play with Super Soakers in the summer ,not AK47's.
16. Take your kid to work day doesn't involve standing on a corner.
17. Parks Board nominations don't make national news.
18. We don't have two arenas without anchor tenants.
19. They aren't called they Overland Park Royals and the Leawood Chiefs.
20. The number 117 isn't associated with the number of murders and high school grads we have.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
PLEASE HELP SOLVE THIS CRIME
SOB MAN needs your help protecting JOCO from crime.
If you have any information regarding a muffin stolen from someones table at Starbucks this morning. Please send me an email at jocosob@yahoo.com.
Do not call the TIPS hot line. EMAIL ME FIRST! I wil call them for you.
I need some props so I can upgrade the new SOB MAN MOBILE
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
For now on when discussing crime on this blog I want it to known that I will go as SOB MAN.
My Super Power is my ability to avoid living in the East Side.
BE SURE to go to this site to help me design the SOB MAN MOBILE
My Super Power is my ability to avoid living in the East Side.
BE SURE to go to this site to help me design the SOB MAN MOBILE
OMEGA MANS ONLY SUPER POPWER: THE RACE CARD
Kansas City's very own "Myster Men" reject has activated his only super power, the race card. That's right Omega Man has taken time out of his day (which I am sure was REAL hard to do) to attack white people and pat himself on the back. You see it appears that Omega Man's kryptonite appears to be criticism by people that he claims not to even care about.
If he wants to be a real crime fighter why doesn't he join the brave men and women (some who actually happen to be white, shocking, I know) that risk their lives on a daily basis and wear a badge?
What crime has this guy actually fought? I don't remember seeing him taking down street gangs, making drug raids or saving women from domestic abuse? If you want to be Omega man you have to do more than relay information. If you want credit for solving the Precious Doe case then you should take the blame for each and every young person that gets killed in the streets that you claim to protect and claim that no white person would dare travel down.
Look at it this way. If Batman resided over the crime increase that has occurred in KCMO for the past couple of years he wouldn't seek glory, he would retire. Omega Man should follow the same guidlines.
Lets face it buddy you are are more Shoveler than Batman. Why is it that Kansas City can't have a winner at anything? Not only do we have professional sports teams that should be minor leauge teams but we also have a minor leauge wannabe super hero.
1. Our wannabe doesn't drive a fast car, fly or talk to fish, he drives a broke ass scooter.
2. Our wannabe doesn't have a cool signal that is flashed when there is trouble, he has a blog and a phone number.
3. Our wannabe doesn't have a cool villan to fight, he fights white bloggers
4. Our wannabe doesn't have a cool line of comic books, movies and action figures, he has well...
5. Our wannabe doesn't care about the welfare of the city, he cares about if his name was mentioned on TV.
To be honest, I could careless if some nerd wants to drive through the hood on a scooter saying that he is a super hero (it is actually kinda funny)all I ask is that you put on a cape or something. And if said nerd happens to turn up a tip for the police then more power to him (but how hard is it to find crime in the East Side). But calling yourself a crime fighter, COME ON, You are a referral network not a crime fighter. You are more consierge than anything.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
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