Monday, July 14, 2008
TOP 10 OBSERVATIONS ABOUT SOJOCO
Ever since moving into SOJOCO I have noticed that life out here is a bit different than the rest of JOCO. I am thinking about calling National Geographic and having them do a documentry based on suburb life in the SOJOCO( I am not kidding). There are things that go on out here that need to be documented and studied that are beyond my grasp and therefore need an expert analysis.
1. Play Dates- What the hell are these things? What ever happened to kids simply playing together? Now it is a big production requiring an invite AND they have to be with the right kids, your children can be social outcasts by the age 6 if you are not careful.
2. Where do you live? - This question is asked all the time when out and about in SOJOCO. This is a status test, because you can't answer Overland Park or Leawood, no no, they want a specific subdivision to see if you are worthy enough to associate with them.
3. HOA - These things are more restrictive and full of backstabbing than the Stalin regime. We got lucky and missed the civil war in our development but the drama is still there under the surface.
4. Mom Identifiers - Mothers in SOJOCO feel that the must call themselves "working mom" or "stay at home mom" as if that is their only identification in life. Do these women have no self esteem? Do they live to do what there husbands and kids demand? Get your own identity ladies and stop kissing the ass's of your husbands. MOM isn't your only label.
5. Live through their kids - I think that some of these parents were losers in High School and are trying to be what they weren't through their kids. I have witnessed people with no athletic ability whatsoever scream at their 9 year old for not putting enough break on the curve ball. I have heard about parents holding kids back a year in order for them to be the biggest kid on the team. Parents have even move their kids out of an one elementary school and into another because their was a kid that was better than them at their position.
6. OBX Stickers - If you have one of these on the back of your ride OR a similar sticker with your "subdivision" in initials you need to go F yourself. I don't care where you live or where you vacation.
7. Kids Cars - The site of a 16 year old in a 60k Lexus makes me want to puke. Whatever happened to getting a job and earning money for your own car? Some parents are passing off these cars to their kids for "good grades" or because they don't have TIME to work. THEY ARE IN HIGHSCHOOL, THEY CAN FIND THE TIME.
8. Retail - Who the hell can afford to shop at the stores that are going up in SOJOCO? Are people putting all this crap on credit cards? I would have to cash in my 401k just to buy a T-Shirt at some of these stores.
9. Restaurants are all the same - These place have no identity other than a sign out front. Where the hell are the locals? How about a nice Mom & Pop place with a unique menu?
10. 119TH STREET - This seems to be the great divide. If you ask anyone is SOJOCO if they have been some place on the other side of 119th street they look at you as if you are speaking a foreign language. It is almost as if 119th street is some man made river with no bridge. Of course the same can be said for people that live in NKC (never go south of the river) and Lees Summit(Grandview Triangle)
QUICK HITS
To say that it was an interesting news weekend in the metro would be an under statement.
1. KSHB news crew gets run over by man in wheelchair...... Right now KCTV 5) is kicking himself for not thinking of it first..
2. 40 shots fired into Grandview IHOP, 4 hit.....Gang Violence is becoming more common in the Missouri burb.
3. KCK residents die trying to install TV antenna....
4. Independence continues to produce more dumped dead bodies....Their dead body output may surpass their meth output by years end.
5. Scooter takes on bus...Bus wins in Lawrence. On a side note the only thing more annoying than cyclist guy is scooter guy. These idiots are not required to have a motorcycle license and have no idea how to ride them.
6. I hate St. Louis so this is good news in my opinion even if it is bad for America.
SHOOTING ODDS
If you took the under(the number was set at 6 by Vegas) going into this weekend then you are a winner. Who would of thought that out of 5 shootings NONE of them happened in KCMO or KCK. Was there a full moon out this weekend? Something is wrong here....
Friday, July 11, 2008
QUICK HITS
It is Friday night in Kansas City and you know what that means, violent crime is about to pick up. I will put the weekend shootings over/under at 6 and at least one stabbing. If you live in JOCO and are planning on visiting the MO side please remember to take your GPS, Kevlar and safety whistles....
1. 85th and Troost is now back open but who cares? I would like to thank KCMO once again for giving JOCO Strouds.
2. Good news for the people of Kansas, the government is going to have to cut back on spending! Now if they would just make this a permanent cut we would be set.
3. Blunt is cleared! If you listen closely you can hear the tears of liberals across the state.
4. Booze was involved in train death.......GEE DO YOU THINK SO! Good job outta Andy & Barney for solving this mystery.
5. Prison wages are about to increase. It is good to see that there are people helping criminals increase their freaking earning power. Now they can get plasmas and blue ray players for their cells. After all it is important that we make their stay as comfortable and low stress as possible.
6. If access to KCK is limited does anyone care?
7. First carjacking of the weekend involves a 77 year old woman. So much for respecting your elders in KCMO.
8. The first shooting of the weekend has taken place before I could finish the Quick Hits Section. GREAT START! EXCEPT it was in freaking Tonganoxie, Ks. Who saw that one coming? I guess you need to take your Kevlar to Tongi as well.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
QUICK HITS
1. Homeless in KCMO take murder to a new level. So far this year we have had shootings, stabbings, drownings and burnings but this could be the first "Chain Battle" of the year. While 18th & Vine is getting a new parking lot & Ollie Gates is getting his new tax free zone, these two guys were fighting over where to set up their box on Trolley Trail.
2. I can't believe that the local news even covered this story. The guy is still alive and nobody got hurt....must of been a slow day. Showdown on Troost.
3. This is straight out of the movie Deliverance. I always wondered why they were called the Packers.
4. The battle of two evils. The KCMO School Board vs. The teachers union. Regardless of who wins this battle the kids will still are the ones that get the loss.
5. Anytime cyclist get injured they make the blog. This time a power line fell(prob a trap set by angry motorist) on this hobbyist. There are no power lines on trails...
6. What does Jesse want to do with Obamas nuts once he cuts them off?
7. Apparently using the term "black hole" is now racist. If you use this term in the future you are at risk of being black listed.....
8. He died for the Polar bear.
9. Which wife is his emergency contact?
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