Tuesday, December 29, 2009

WAKE THE DEAD

I have been getting several emails over the past month asking me about my posting frequency or lack there of.  I guess that some of you missed my post regarding my holiday cutback in posting.   The timing was pretty crappy because at that exact same time a few local bloggers (including myself) starting receiving threatening emails from a reader.  I can assure you that one had nothing to do with the other.  Sometimes it is good to take a step back and rest from current events and politics. 

Last year I decided to make the blog more national than local.  I covered the major stories just like everyone else but I stayed away from the daily BS that plagues this town.  Honestly, Kansas City isn't that interesting.  The city is only relevant twice a year (American Royal and Plaza lights).  So in 2010 I will continue a 60/40 mix but will also be throwing in more local election and normal day to day crap.  

Enjoy the rest of your week and I will be back in 2010.

FLOGGING MOLLY

LEAVENWORTH MAYOR CLEARED


HOW BROKE IS KCMO?



You should be kissing the Cordish Groups ASS instead of running them out of your broke tired ass city.

ROVE ON OBAMA

ITS NAP


CORDISH FIGHTS BACK




Again, why in the hell should Cordish be forced to turn their investment into the craphole that Westport has turned into? 

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

80's Christmas

EMMET OTTER'S CHRISTMAS BLOOPERS

CHRISTIANS ARE CONSIDERED EVIL BY LEFT

If it isn't one thing it is another.  Why in the freaking world do we bow down to these leftist pansies?  Is there not a CEO or elected official left in America with any balls.  If it isn't Christmas it is smoking or Columbus Day or hyphenated American or earning too much, or protecting the animals whaa, whaaaa whaaa.  


1.  How the hell can you take the CHRISTMAS OUT OF A CHRISTMAS TREE.
2.  Our wonderful leader thinks that it is appropriate to bash our values while he hangs an ornament up of a man that ordered tanks to destroy protesters.
3.  It is ironic that on the eve of the birth of baby Jesus that liberals are set to pass a bill allowing for tax payer funded abortions.  
4.  The home of Clinton is also home to even more Christmas haters. 
5.  Old folks in Chicago(go figure) are being banned from putting on Christmas decorations.....


This is just a small sampling of the stories that are out there this week.  If you look you will find hundreds of stories about Christmas decorations being stolen or vandalized.  Can you imagine if muslim decorations suffered the same  fate?  There would be a massive manhunt and the crimes would of been called hate crimes.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

1.  If you haven't watch the Vance Christmas lights from the church parking lot this year then you are missing out.  The light/music show is awesome and best of all free.
2.  This is the first year in a long time that we decided to skip the Mayors Christmas Tree.  It seems like a waste of gas to look at the twigs that this moron picks out.
3.  The big holiday gift discussion this year has been about E Readers.  The Sony vs. Nook vs. Kindle debate finally came to an end when my wife got her Kindle this week.  
4.  Never offer to watch someones loud ass bird.  
5.  Which is worst.  Going to church for Christmas & Easter or not going to church all year?
6.  I was pretty excited when the arena and P&L district went in.  Hell I helped campaign for the thing.  Unfortunately it has turned into a playground for pop collared douche bag posers.
7.  How long will it be until there is a TV station running Christmas Vacation from Christamas eve on?
8.  As I type this Kaite Horner is picking out her clothing for 5 days of "blizzard" coverage.
9.  When sports teams have a losing season typically the coach/manager gets fired.  Why is it that we can't say the same about murder rates in KCMO?
10.  Can someone please tell me what the current GPA conversion rate is between BV & KCMOSD?  Is an F student in BV an honor roll student in KCMOSD?

HOMELESS PEOPLE GET AWESOME NEW JOBS


LACK OF A MID RANGE JUMPER


ROBIN HOOD TRAILER

Saturday, December 19, 2009

AN UNDERWOOD CHRISTMAS

KCMO CHRISTMAS CD - REPOST




Coming soon to a JOCO retailer near you a new Christmas Classic brought to you by SOB Productions.

A VERY MERRY KCMO CHRISTMAS

1. The 12 months of Funkhouser

2. How the Squit stole Christmas

3. All I want for Christmas is my GED

4. Little Gunner Boy

5. I saw mommy getting pimped by Santa

6. Frosty the Dope Man

7. Rudolph the Red Nosed Drunk

8. The NAACP ain't coming to town

9. I'll be home for Chirstmas ( in 10-20 years)

10. Silver Glocks

11. White City Hall - A Squitiro Solo

12. KCMO got run over by Cordish Group

13. Have yourself an unaccredited education

14. Rocking around a stolen Christmas Tree

15. The night before depositions

16. Hark the Narc and let bullets ring

17. Santa Clause got stabbed walking through town.

18. Wheres the blow, wheres the blow, wheres the blow

RUN DMC CHRISTMAS

20 TOP CHRISTMAS SHOWS


IN NO ORDER

1. CHRISTMAS VACATION
2. A CHRISTMAS STORY
3. A CHRISTMAS CAROL
4. SCROOGED
5. CHARLIE BROWNS CHRISTMAS
6 RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
7. FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
8. MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET
9. HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
10. THE SANTA CLAUSE
11. MR. MAGOOS CHRISTMAS
12. MICKEYS CHRISTMAS CAROL
13. NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
14. THE FAMILY MAN
15. ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE
16. EMMIT OTTERS JUG BAND CHRISTMAS
17. ELF
18. POLAR EXPRESS
19. THE REF
20. HOME ALONE

REPOST - 22 CHRISTMAS TAKES

This is the revised version of last years list.

1. Seeing 8 checkout lanes void from a cashier while you wait in a line 10 deep. What makes this even better is when you see 5 or 6 employees of the store standing around customer service chatting. You have two things to do. Scan items, collect money. that is all there is to it and you CAN'T EVEN DO THAT!

2. The jackass that follows you to your car in order to take your spot when you leave. This happened to me last week and I simply started my car, turned it back off and walked back into the store. The look on the guys face was priceless.

3. Special Buys. What a scam this is. In the fine print of the ad you will see the words limited quantity or only 7 per store. They do this to lure you into their store and switch you onto a more expensive product.

4. Blue Christmas lights. Why even bother? These are the ugliest lights on the planet (icicles from the gutters are a close 2nd). I have never met anyone that likes seeing those hideous things.

5. Drooping Christmas lights. If you are going to go to the effort of hanging them up make them straight. Nothing says WT more than drooping lights.

6. $10 gift cards. Really, what the hell are you suppose to purchase for $10, batteries. There is nothing wrong with a gift that costs $10 it shows that you put some thought and effort into it, This says that I didn't want to spend anytime shopping for you at all.

7. Holiday office parties - Nothing says Christmas like getting together with people that you see 50 hours a week, every week for a Dinner. Really, do we need to see these people after hours as well just because it is Christmas? Nobody I have asked this year likes these things yet they occur every damn year.

8. Traffic - This really needs no explanation.

9. People wishing me a happy holiday. Just say MERRY CHRISTMAS! Why the hell do we have to use code to speak of a holiday? Do I really need to have a Navajo Indian with me in order to speak at Christmas Time.

10. The Mayors Christmas Tree - This has become a joke. This guy is terrible at amaking choices. Two examples, his wife and the Christmas Tree.

11. Stores that advertise the Mail in Rebate price as opposed to the actual price. Anyone that has ever gone through the mail in rebate process understands that it is a hoax. Why do you have to wait 6 months to get $40? Microcenter is notorious for this.

12. Live Nativity Scenes. Does acting out a scene of the bible make you more religious than the next guy? If I wanted to see homeless people I would cross the state line.

13. Lazy Bell Ringers - I know that your job sucks but you could at least put some effort into it. You are competing for my change with the next charity, act like you want my quarter.

14. Crappy Holiday shows - Network execs think that we will watch anything that has Christmas in it. They will take C level sitcom stars from the 80's and put them on a set with snow, presents, a Christmas tree and some struggle and expect us to watch it. Christmas shows that were on TV USE TO BE GOOD. WTF HAPPENED.

15. Atheist - Don't ruin our holiday just because you are going to hell. Also, don't protest our holiday and except a gift from us you damn heathens.

16. Pop Star Christmas music

17. Christmas Clothing - This is some of the ugliest crap I have ever seen.

18. People that attend the Plaza Lighting ceremony - I guess I am missing it here, do the lights look different on Thanksgiving than they do on December 14th?

19. People that say that Christmas lights are bad for the environment.

20. Drawing names for gifts - This is a scam to ensure that unpopular and mean people get gifts at the office etc....

21. Stories on the homeless - Christmas seems to remind the media that they need to run specials on the homeless. It seems that the only day of the year they really need us is December 25th.

22. The exploitation of Snowmen and Reindeer on TV. Do we really need 5 frosty sequels and 3 Rudolph sequels?

ACHMED CHRISTMAS

Saturday, December 12, 2009

THE WIRE - KC, HOME OF THE GUN CLAP

Gang bangers in the metro are getting lazy and no longer hiding the bodies of their victims.  There was a time in this town when you killers took pride in their work and actually did a professional job.  These generation X killers are getting sloppy and lazy. 



1,  Driving home from a night of crime is no longer safe in KCMO.
2.  Our killers get more done before 6pm than most.  
3.  One would think that having two wives would be punishment enough....
4.  This story says that two kids were taken to a juvenile facility after the police had to be called to their school to break up a fight.  Aren't KCMO schools the same thing?  Hell the kids might be safer in jail
5.  If this were a black church this fire would of been called a hate crime before the investigation even started.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE MICROPHONE

SNOOP DOGG - I WANT TO ROCK

QUICK HITS - RESTRAINT

Internet Fact: 145:34.  When writing a blog there is no doubt that you will come across mentally unstable people.  I say this now for everyone to see(just in case) due to the recent harassment that I have undergone for linking to another mans blog in my blogroll.  The safety of myself and my family is now in question due to a link on the internet. 

1.  Our Muslim president hates Christmas.

2.  Tiger Woods is set to quit golf.  I guess working those 4 days a week in interfering with his adultery.

3.  If you are too dumb to use Face Book............

4.  Further proof that the Swine Flu isn't anywhere near as dangerous as the government would lead you to believe.

5.  People that claim to be Animal Tamers get what they deserve in the end. 

6.  Cash is more important than serving the people of his state for Harry Reid.

7.   Obama hires wealth police.

8.  Crips and Bloods have clearer rules of engagement that our soldiers fighting terrorist.

9.  The woman that has had her 19th kid needs to get spayed. 

10.  As most Americans suffer through this recession the bastards at the government are getting rich.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF BLACK SHEEP

YOU CAN GET WITH THIS 

OR


YOU CAN GET WITH THAT
DID TIGER CHOOSE WISELY?

YOUR NEXT VICTORIA SECERET MODEL?


Did he resign to go after his true calling?  Lingerie model. 

SAY WHAT AGAIN

18th & VINE PREVIEW


THE WIRE - CRIMINAL MINDED

After the week that some of us bloggers have had I thought that the headline was fitting for todays wire segment.  



1.  Jocoeveryman faces life in Prison for inappropriate use of  control+c and control+v.  
2.  Jocosob faces 50 years under the "guilty by association" act passed by the morse township in 1873.  
3.  Have I been typing on a fake laptop?  


4.  KCK residents don't have the holiday spirit.  One dead, shot, murdered, killed.......

5.  You never hear people say that murder victims were anything other than "good kid".  Do bad kids ever get shot in KCMO? 

6.  Pepper Spray 1 Fake Gun 0
7.  Fat Albert is wanted for OP theiving.  Russel is going to be pissed!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

LET ME CLEAR MY THROAT...........

First off let me state for the record that I have always allowed guest posters on my blog that I thought could make a positive contribution to the 3 people that read this blog. I also have links on my blog to several other people that I think have a unique voice worth listening to.  I do this because I believe that people should be allowed to have their point of view heard without censorship.  If you go through my blog over the past 2 years you will not see a single attack on another blogger by name, url, email etc.. 

Having said all that I have made a huge mistake that is taking up way too much of my time and energy.

NOW TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM - CRAPPY POLITICIANS

Do you really think that I am going to play step and fetch with you?  Seriously, YOU are going to tell me who I can link to and demand that I make changes to MY BLOG and the people that I think are worthy of linking to?  LOL. You need to step back and rethink your emails partner.  If someone allows your voice to be heard you should probably say things like please and thank you and be courteous instead of going Summers Eve on me. 

Nobody ever heard of you until I posted your comments to my readers.  Nobody knew what you stood for until your words were allowed to be put on my blog.  YOU ASKED ME to publish it.  I didn't come seek you out.  I did you a favor and this is how you repay that favor?  


And now you threaten legal action against me for what someone else posted on their blog and NOT MINE!  I think you have lost your damn mind.  HOW the hell am I suppose to control what someone else puts on their  blog?  LOL!  

Go on man, run along and let us grown folks talk about serious issues.  Something obviously above you.

OLD SCHOOL TUESDAY - MR. FLAMOYANT

OLD SCHOOL TUESDAY - LIFE IS............