QUICK HITS

The TOP 10 STORIES that you morons need to read before you open your pie holes today.

1. Topeka parents kill twin 3 year olds by leaving them in a hot car. DO YOU IDIOTS EVER LEARN! How many freaking kids die in the metro every year due to this crap? I know Topeka isn't the metro but come on!

2. Crooked ass Suzuki dealership is latest to go up in flames due to the local arson problem.

3. If you are a total loser you will probably be at this metro event.

4. Woman on woman crime hits Overland Park. If you rob from the old do you go to hell? And why in the hell is an 86 year old woman DRIVING!

5. How do you get held up by a knife? You can't outrun a bullet but a knife... KCMO.

6. Metro arson problem spreads to JOCO.

7. Texas parents offer sex with their 5 year old daughter for used car.

8. Madonna compares US War Hero McCain to Hitler.

9. Rebounding dollar yet another sign that liberals are morons.

10. Embarq to cut 1000 jobs.

WEEKEND CRIME REVIEW

What a performance by the local team! As predicted on Friday if you took the over on the shooting odds you were a big winner. If my streak of picks continues I may have my own odds making show on Local Cable. Call 913-Get-Shot for all of your street crime predictions.

1. KCK was first out of the gate with this double shooting on 12th street. You just knew that with a double to kick things off that it was going to be a big weekend.

2. KCMO wasn't going to just sit back and let KCK grab all the attention. 80th and Sycamore.

3. KCMO then came through in a big way with a TRIPLE drive-by shooting on 26th street.

4. KCMO AGAIN comes through with a single drive-by shooting on 44th street.

5. KCMO, KCMO, KCMO these guys were busy in a big way this weekend. Truman & Jackson.

6. AND ANOTHER DRIVE-BY FOR KCMO. Benton blvd. representing.

That's right Kansas City we had 9 shootings this weekend (that we know of). HOLY CRAP! THE METRO AREA NEARLY SHOT FOR THE CYCLE! 4 SINGLES, A DOUBLE & A TRIPLE.

HIP HOP FLASH BACK

Another video when Hip Hop didn't suck.

METRO SHOOTING OVER/UNDER

It is scary how accurate I have been with this thing. Can I actually see dead people? Anyways, the weather is suppose to be humid and in the upper 80's this weekend and school just started. So the number for the weekend is: 5. I for one am going to take the over on this.

TOP 5 MOST OVERRATED KC LOCATIONS

I am not going to go into an in depth explanation about each of these because most of you know that these places suck. This is just a warning for Tourists and village idiots looking to travel into KCMO.

1. 18th & Vine - Enjoy the new parking lot. (notice all the traffic there when this photo was taken, yeah me neither)

2. Crown Center - I believe that the shops are open 5 hours a day there and full of crap that you don't need.

3. Crossroads District - You can find better art on your home refrigerator. The people that go to this area play make believe that Kansas City has culture and therefore are total morons.

4. The Brooksider - Holy poser hell.

5. Science S**tty - This place might be the biggest joke in the metro.

HEY GLOOM & DOOM JACKASS'S

Where the hell are you now that oil has dropped? Where are all the idiots that flooded my comment section and inbox telling me that I didn't know what I was talking about when I stated that the price of oil would fall before the end of summer? Enjoy your smart cars jackass's.

Bannister Mall

Quick thought here. I just read a story titled "Bannister Mall Blight Attracts Crime". Didn't a fully functioning Bannister Mall attract crime as well? Stop blaming the building and start looking at what the neighborhoods around that area have turned into. It doesn't take a decoder ring to decipher the gang signs spray painted on the over passes and street signs.

IT IS TIME TO SECEDE FROM THE UNION

That's right folks it is time for the great civilization known as Southern Overland Park to leave the North behind in order to form a more perfect union. Let's face it what does Northern OP contribute to those of us in Southern Overland Park? Not much besides Taco Via and Oak Park mall.

I say we make it official at simply become Blue Valley. I will have more on this later today because if you don't think this is possible or even currently being thought of by those in city hall you are wrong.

QUICK HITS

Top Ten stories that you need to know about before speaking today.

1. After a lazy Tuesday it is good to see that violent crime is back on track in the metro area. Dead body found in house on Forest.

2. Can't we just bull doze Prospect? Seriously, nothing good ever happens on this street. Man shot at 40th and noProspects.

3. Kansas City religious leaders like sodomy. They like it so much that they paid $10 million dollars to molest local boys.

4. If a racetrack that nobody went to in the first places closes, does anyone care? No.

5. Will Prairie Village leaders finally jump on board with my plan of taking down the 18th street expressway?

6. God bless the little engine that could KCK. While they lack the numbers that KCMO has they still manage to either shoot or stab someone on a daily basis. Stabbing on "scenic" 7th street.

7. In a city full of shell casings, broken crack pipes, shanks and grenades, do they really need to worry about a smoking ban in KCK? Seriously they can't enforce the laws that they have now so why add to the list. Tell ya what, clean up the crime in the city then come back and say that you are concerned about the health of the citizens. Jackass's.

8. How fitting is it that a man that crapped all over former players health needs, dies early. Normally I would feel bad about a death but the way this guy treated former NFL players makes it difficult for me to say anything more than CYA A-HOLE!

9. How many greeting card sayings were deemed inappropriate by Hallmark while they were creating "Gay Marriage Cards"?

10. Alligators swimming in the streets of Florida.

FEEDBURNER ERROR IS NOW FIXED

I want to thank those of you that brought to my attention the fact that my blog feed was set on summarize. I have gone in and corrected the error so the entire feed is now available.

GOT WORMS????????/

This story is to freaking disgusting to comment on.

FINALLY!

If you have been watching the Olympics then you know who this chick is. Well she finally won a gold medal. Congrats Hy-Vee smile chick.

QUICK HITS

1. THEY KILLED KENNY!!!! Not really, but they did find this guy shot on South Park today. Leave it to KCMO residents to tarnish the name of a cartoon.

2. When you open a legit business on Troost you will die. Two shot, One dead.

3. Drunks drivers Beware!

4. KCK kids molested by school bus driver. They need to dump this guy on Quindaro at 2am in a klan outfit.

5. Kansas City is an attractive place for vacationing murderers. The chamber of commerce needs to take advantage of KCMO's high murder rate in order to attract more murderers and thugs. Dirty money is still money into the local economy.

6. IF YOU ARE A GUY IN THE METRO READ THIS NOW.

7. Yesterday I was at Target and thought the exact same thing as the woman in front of me shouldn't of been wearing a jogging bra and capri jogging pants.

8. HOLY CRAP! A local media outlet talking about "gangs". I just looked out my window and saw Rosie O'Donnell flying.

9. It's 2008 and we still have cattle thieves??? Missouri sure is a progressive state.

10. Meet Yoda the Cat.

WHAT I AM LISTENING TO THIS WEEK

There is not near enough music talk in the local blog scene. It seems that everyone has been swept up in the elections or the slightly retarded mayor. Time for a change of pace. Each and every Monday you lucky bastards will be treated with the Top Ten groups that I am listening to this week. This will all make more sense once the new website is launched (2 weeks I hope).

1. Grand Funk Railroad
2. Old School E40
3. Velvet Revolver
4. Clipse - ReUp gang
5. Dropkick Murphy's
6. Stevie Ray Vaughan & Double Take
7. David Banner
8. Taj Mahal
9. Tech 9
10. Blues Brothers Soundtrack - Greatest soundtrack of all time.

WEEKEND CRIME RECAP

If ever you needed proof that the weather dictates crime in the metro this weekend is it. It was such a nice weekend that even the gang bangers, rapist, random shooters, home invaders etc... took the weekend off. Which leads one to ask the following question. What do these guys do with their down time? Do they go to Home Depot with the family and pick out tile for their bathroom? Were they home cheering for the womens gymnastics team?

1. With the "classy" crowd that hangs out at metro casinos it is hard to believe that there would be a gun fight..........

2. I have never understood the whole "murder suicide" thing. If you are going to off yourself, why take someone with you? It's not as if you get a group discount in hell.

3. MORE ARSON in the Metro. As long as they are in the hood, nobody cares.

4. ONLY a KCK resident would run from the police with his family in the car. Good job buddy.

5. Park is making a play to make the Top 10 list of streets to get shot on.