THE WIRE - NICELY DONE

The chefs have prepared us a great buffet of crime today. Enjoy.

1. Real men rob fast food joints with a handguns while walking through the drive through. Way to keep it gangsta yo!

2. Independence residents continue to let the Metro down. This jackass is an incest having child rapist. Don't you wish we could have posters that said "SHOOT ON SIGHT" still?

3. When KCMO residents cant find anyone to kill they simply start offing family members.

4. If you live in KCK and you are looking to hide drugs DONT PUT IT IN A LAUNDRY DETERGENT BOX! We all know that KCK residents dont wash their clothes so you MIGHT look suspicious carrying the freaking box.

5. This KCMO womans neighbors suck. Way to pay attention you morons.

6. If you are looking for someone to shoot and then get away with it call this guy. This KCMO man was shot this morning but DOESNT want to press charges. What are the odds of the shooters boddy turning up later this week? I love street justice.

7. Finding crack hosuses on Troost is no big feat. Now finding a house on troost that ISNT a crack house, that is tough.

ANOTHER REASON WHY OTHER CONSERVATIVES HATE ME

For 4 years now I have been waiting for a new album from Em and after listening to it today I have to tell you that it was well worth the wait. This to me is his best work yet but it will also land him in more trouble than anything else he has written. Right Wing extremist and Leftist Marxist are going to piss down their legs once they listen to it. Nothing and I mean nothing is off limits in this thing.

If you are a fan of Hip Hop you need to pick this up.

MEGAN FOX TRANSFORMERS 2

QUICK HITS - YOU SICK BASTARDS

Is there anything more annoying than people complaining that its Monday on Facebook? Holy crap, yes Mondays suck but I don't need 400 people updating their status to say that.


1. I am amazed at the number of people that suddenly think that Tijuana is dangerous. I use to go down to TJ at least twice a month when I was stationed out in Cali and it was just as dangerous then as it is now.

2. Of course Republicans are happier than democrats. Democrats get elected due to the misery of others.

3. Louisiana continues to be the most dangerous place in America to live. Just ask this Middle School teacher that is alive due to the poor aim of one of his students.

4. Turned his life around? Sureeeeeeee. Hell why stop at letting him live, maybe we should release him since he is suddenly such a great guy.

5. While the rest of you once a year do gooders are making yourselves feel better on June 6th I will be here on June 7th telling you that you made no difference.

6. Olathe is more messed up than I thought. When you have to tell your community that "Dads make a difference" your community is screwed.

7. Is it really news that Celebs ruin marriages? Alicia Keys bangs married men.

8. Is the price of assparagus really worth beating the crap outta a woman?

9. Congratulations! Your mom will be dead before you reach Kindergarten. Poor kid.

10. If you are missing Mike Hunt from your facebook friendslist this is why.

NORTHEAST LEADERS CAUGHT A CONTACT BUZZ

I doubt that this will happen BUT there is a new effort to push whores and addicts off of Independence Avenue. This new initiative will make breaking the law there more severe than breaking the law across the street.

The brilliant NE leaders that thought of this plan should be ashamed of themselves. What makes their blighted out block better than the next one? Do they really think that the areas surrounding them will allow this to happen? Hell no.

And lets say that it does pass and it does work, then what? The EPA would need at least a decade to study the area before any new development happened. And lets not forget all the bodies that are probably buried over there.

Why cant we just let the North East continue to be the drain in the KCMO Toilet?

SCOTT PARKS CLUELESS

Could someone please tell me how this guy ended up on the air discussing politics? KMBZ needs to move Beavis and Butthead out and put Darla Jaye in that time slot. Neal & Marty think that show is bad.

DEMOCRATIC KLANSMAN

Pardon me if I dont root for this guys survival. Not only was he in the Klan, he was one of their best recruiters.

I guess an African American president is too much for him to handle

HEADLINE OF THE DAY - CHOOSE

2 Shot At Anti-Violence Rally In Midwest City

OR

Father Accused Of Eating Child's Eyes Out

SUMMER TIME IN SOJOCO

This will start my 2nd summer south of 119th street and I feel a little bit more prepared for it this time around. Those of you that are new to the area and in need of guidence please let me help you out here.

1. Lawn Wars - This is nothing more than a show of wealth. Those that can afford unlimited watering, underground sprinklers, illegal grounds keeping and professional landscaping always win. If you see a house in SOJOCO without any of the above mentioned then you know that they are living above their means.

2. Pool - When I was a kid my brother and I went to the pool nearly everyday that the weather allowed. My parents busted their ass's at work to ensure that this happened and we made the most of it. NOW in SOJOCO it is a sign of poverty if you go to an Overland Park Public Pool . The pools nowadays are hidden in the gated communities and are only given access to those who are worthy enough to live there.

3. 40 trying to be 20 - We have all seen the 40 year old women in SOJOCO who try to dress like they are 20 years old . While a small portion are able to pull it off the vast majority of these chicks embarrass themselves in public. Boy short and jogging bras are a privallage to wear, not a right.

4. BBQing & Grilling - These morons have the most expensive smokers and grills on the market yet have no clue how to use them. Let's get one thing straight right now. IF YOU USE A GAS GRILL YOU ARE NOT BBQING YOU ARE COOKING. Ribs, chicken, sausuage, brisket and pulled pork require smoke not gas. If you want to call it grilling, fine. Just stop embarrassing our hood.

5. Lack of parental supervision for kids - The crap that these kids get away with is amazing. It is almost as if they have no rules and the parents are scared to punish their kids. Summertime is the worst because of all the free time that these monsters have.

6. Frozen Custard - Ice Cream isn't good enough for the people of SOJOCO. The mere thought of going to a DQ or Baskin Robins is enough to get you kicked out of your cul de sac. Enter Frozen Custard. This overly priced expensive crap is the only frozen dessert allowed in the land o gates.

7. Golf Guy - $2000 worth of clubs and $20 worth of lessons. Priceless.

8. Scooter riders - Would someone please tell these jackass's that they arent cool. These are the prefered method of transportation for EMO kids and Dorky old people trying to be green.

9. The Lake - I have mentioned this one before, WHICH LAKE! Not everyone likes to swim in a lake full of urine, used condoms and beer cans so we avoid Lake of the Ozarks. By saying "The Lake" you remind me of the Roxberry movie where the two douchebags always said "The Club".

10. Cyclist - Nuf said.

GETTING HAMMERED IN STL

This story has nothing to do with Budweiser.

QUESTION

Power Ball or your 401k. Which is riskier?

THE WIRE - WEEKEND KETCHUP

You gotta love a warm dry weekend!

1. As JOCO kids celebrate their High School graduations and prepare for college, KCK kids are already working in there future profession. 3 shot in one night.

2. Don't you think it would be a good idea to hide the keys if you work at a freaking group home. The best part of this story is the fact that a 10 year old was involved in the theft. Awesome!

3. Pulling a knife on someone is common place in KCMO schools. Hell it is even encouraged considering the alternative is pulling a gun. Well when it happens at a OP middle school it is headline worthy!

4. JOCO's low crime rate allows officers to spend time helping people in other ways.

1 DOWN 10,000 TO GO

If you are a road hogging cyclist read this story and be afraid. 2009 is the year that we take the streets back!

KCWIRED TALKS MEXICAN FOOD

This guy might have the hardest blog to write due to the lameness of our city. However just like his website he steps up and drops a nice review.
Enjoy,
JOCO SOB

Let’s be honest; there isn’t a whole lot going on in KC this weekend. With that said, for your reading pleasure, I present my latest Mexican restaurant review:

The KC area is full of Mexican joints; I am not talking about the stuff you smoke. That is a different column altogether. In all seriousness, there are many great places to eat in KC. Whether you are into authentic Mexican or the ubiquitous Tex-Mex, KC has it all. This week I had the pleasure of visiting Fronteras in SOJOCO. They have couple of locations in JOCO. The one my wife and I visited is in the Deer Creek strip mall. When we arrived, I had reservations about trying out new Mexican place. In fact, I contemplated driving down the road to Jose Peppers, another Mexican joint that always delivers fantastic Tex-Mex cuisine. With so many choices, why risk eating something you may regret later? After my hungry wife prodded me into trying it out, we entered the unassuming establishment only to discover a modern looking restaurant with soaring ceilings and minimalist décor. Imagine, a Mexican restaurant without the hokey Mexican horns and blankets most places feature! Now, back to the food; I ordered a “Chunky Burrito” that was stuffed with large chunks of perfectly seasoned pork and ground beef. It had the perfect blend of rice and beans. It was simply terrific. My wife ordered the chicken enchiladas, which were equally as tasty. The rojo sauce was perfecto and the chicken was magnificent. Wondering about the chips and salsa? They are on par with the best of what KC has to offer. I strongly suggest you check out Fronteras Mexican Restaurant and let me know what you think! Casual attire and moderate prices.

Peace,

www.kcwired.com

QUICK HITS - ITS A TWISTA, ITS A TWISTA

I bet there is some good people watching at a trailer park when the Tornado Sirens go off. It would almost be worth setting up a webcam out there for days like today. Now that I think of it, a webcam at a trailer park would be hillarious to watch even when the weather is nice. I will make some calls and see what I can do.

Gary Lezak said that he didn't know if we could take more than 2 inches without there being problems.......

1. Dildo sales benefit local kids. That is a sentence you don't think you will ever type.

2. We are doomed for sure now! Obama pissed of the Canadians...

3. This house is an example of what we have to look forward to with Obamas energy plan.

4. Notre Dame protesters have more energy than their football team in recent years.

5. 51% of Americans are now against killing babies. This is the highest it has been in over a decade when this poll started.

6. Do they really think that 108 kids are going to clean up KCK? I bet if you drive through there on Monday it will look like they were never there.

7. For those of you that don't know what to expect when you hit puberty, Fox News has come up with an article breaking it down for you. Because we all know that kids surf Fox News.

8. Chinese build sexual theme park.

9. KDOT finally realizes that there is a problem at 435 and i35

10. Obama tells you that his economic policy is dangerous.........