Thursday, July 31, 2008

THESE WOMEN GO THE EXTRA MILE!


This isn't the typical story one finds when reading Fox News but a good one nonetheless. I expect this surgery to take off out here in SOJOCO. Can you go in and ask for the Underwood?

WTF?


It is a sad day when you can't determine the gender of Olympic Athletes. Maybe we can use the same test on Mike Hedricks to determine his gender....

GOTTA LOVE LUDA


I have been a big fan of Luda for years now but this is another example(lyrics & audio) of why entertainers need to stay out of political politics.

QUICK HITS



1. A break in the rain has finally helped with murder crews catch up on some work in the East Side. 4 shot, 3 injured, 1 dead and a partridge in a pear tree.............

2. Are fast food robberies going to make a return to the scene?

3. How much is the word "mammy" going to be worth? This could be the most over covered story in the history on the internet.

4. What is more dangerous? The east side of KCMO or driving on a Missouri bridge?

5. Kansas City residents don't know how to act.

6. Further proof that the media thinks that you are morons. " Rain is Missouri contribute to scattered flooding" REALLY!!!!! WE NEVER WOULD OF GUESSED THAT!

7. Olathe continues to prove that it belongs in the Top 10 list. What happens when Olathe wanna be gangsters put down the knives and pick up guns?

8. John Edwards can't escape the fact that he cheated on his wife while she battles cancer. You gotta love the compassion of liberals...

9. This cat is freaking awesome!

10. The Kansas City "zoo" makes national headlines for something other than being a complete failure and waste of money.

Monday, July 28, 2008

METRO POWER RANKINGS (Crime)


Since we are closing in on the end of summer it is time to put up the standings. Gang bangers, crack slangers, pimps, hoes, robbers, car jackers and psycho suburb kids all have 5 months to improve your rankings. If you feel as if your city should be ranked higher feel free to email me at jocosob@yahoo.com and plead your case.

How did I come up with these rankings?
I have gone back through the blog and researched all of the crime that I thought was noteworthy. I then took those stories and broke them down even further. I then spoke with players, coaches, GM's and fans to get their perspective on how they thought their team was doing this year.
Are these results culturally bias?
No. Crime has no color.
I live in one of the cities mentioned and I feel like it shouldn't be there.
Get over it. Your city is violent and you are just blind to what is going on around you.
Do you think that light rail will solve the cities crime problems?
No, but the mayor of KCMO must believe so.
Why aren't the local media outlets pushing authorities to do more?
Because they are ambulance chasers incapable of digging into a story unless it some how involves the sex lives of others.
You really are an SOB.
I know

1. KCMO
2. KCK
3. Independence
4. Raytown
5. Olathe
6. Grandview
7. Gladstone
8. Merriam
9. Roeland Park
10. Lawrence

Also receiving votes: Gardner

VIOLENT KC WEEKEND.


Aren't they all violent?


1. Even 13 year old chicks will kill you in KCK. When did Barbie start coming with a Deagle?

2. If you thought you had fly problems at your last picnic, imagine what a picnic at Noble park is going to be like now......That's right folks, yet another body found.

3. Independence avenue could be the biggest crap hole in the metro so finding a dead body there should be no surprise.

4. THERE IS NOT AN ARSON PROBLEM IN THE METRO....

5. Grandview invades Lee's Summit.

6. Another East Side Home Invasion..........

7. Grain Valley Psycho goes on trial today for killing his mom and trying to kill his dad.

8. Olathe cops are currently pulling over everyone with Missouri or Wyco plates.

9. Home invaders in Gladstone get creative and use a bayonet . Nice touch fellas.

10. Going to church could get you killed...

Thursday, July 24, 2008

TRAINING CAMP STARTS TODAY


Can you hear the excitement? Neither can I but I am sure that trailer parks every where are full of anticipation today as the Chiefs head up to River Falls. Most of us "informed fans" understand that this year is a rebuilding year( a year late) and have extremely low expectations but you and I both know that Sports Talk radio will be full of WT fans calling in predicting the playoffs for the Chiefs. When you hear these calls just remember that these people are also allowed to vote........

MESSED UP PRIORITIES


As if you needed more proof that the KCMO police department is being run by Bozo the clown. The police department set up a FREAKING STING OPERATION to get a stolen TUBA. ARE YOU KIDDING ME! They put more effort into getting this tuba than they have at getting gangs and drugs off the street.

DEAD MAN WALKING


He might not of gotten the Death Penalty but this guy will be dead in prison within a month. Phil Kline should of rejected this guys plea deal.

LAST NIGHT WAS A PUSH


As of 8:20am this morning the magic number of shootings in the metro last night is 2. Vegas keeps the money and Kansas City keeps moving up on the Murda ranks.

1. It was only a matter of time before a shooting took place at a bar called White Trash.

2. No surprise in the location of this shooting. There is so much lead in the streets of KCK that the EPA might have to issue a health warning.

THE EAST SIDE GETS A RAISE


Oh wait, this was a raise in minimum wage not welfare. .....

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

MIKEY DOESN'T LIKE IT


Today when I got to my inbox for jocosob@yahoo.com I was surprised to find emails all pointing to the direction of this ass clowns column. I seriously was unaware that anyone other than his parents actually read the mindless rambling of JOCO's Mr. Irrelevant. So I followed the link and stumbled across a column that looks like it was written by a man trying to prove his worth.

Mikey thought it would be a good idea today to discredit local bloggers and label them "citizen reporters" (is he not a citizen?) because one blogger got some facts screwed up. The first thing that came to my mind was why is an elitist Kansas City Red Star reporter writing about blogs? Shouldn't he be above that? Why would this guy even waste his time reading blogs?

Well the answer is simple, he lacks talent. You see Mike is incapable of coming up with his own story ideas and is pretty much out of touch with the Metro area and NEEDS the local blogs to come up with story ideas & angles. How many times can he write about Phil Kline and cyclist?

Mikey did you not notice that over 1oo of your buddies just got canned from the paper that you write for and that people with your job are being fired all across the country? Newspapers are a thing of the past. Only the truly talented will survive, where does that leave you?

A STORY YOU DON'T READ EVERYDAY


This woman was forced to remove her nipple rings before boarding her flight.

AWESOME DAY IN KCK (that should be their slogan)


I for one am glad that Kansas City doesn't have a gang problem.

1. Why use a gun when a grenade is much more effective(if you know how to use it)? It is good to see that KCK is advancing to grenades as KCMO regresses to knives.

2. Parallel to what? Hell? This is the shooting that brought on the grenade attack.

3. KCMO man gets face lift from a 9mm.

4. Cut liver, blood in urine and messed up kidneys and spleen for the kids of this East Side mom.

5. People aren't the only things screwed in KCK.

6. JOCO juveniles go Hi Tech and stupid.

7. Another Ho bust in Lenexa.

8. If you were a peeping tom would you really target a Sears Dressing room? Good god some people have no standards.

9. When one thinks about prostitution the first place they think is Carbondale, Ks.

10. Roof prices are about to skyrocket!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

QUICK HITS


1. I almost didn't do a quick hits for today until I read this little White Trash GEM. It is one thing to rob a Waffle House, it is total White Trash to use a bomb threat to rob a Waffle House.

2. The Red Star considers the sale of Star Wars toys breaking news........

3. The Mayors "task force" attempts to paint a turd.

4. People in KCMO should just remove their doors and put all of their valuables in their front yard.

5. Crime was better when it was Organized in this city.

6. Meth & Lice will have to find a new home after their KCK residence closes.

7. Expect a weed shortage in KC.

8. URBAN AGRICULTURE? ARE THEY FREAKING KIDDING! Blood makes a terrible fertilizer.

9. These JOCO kids need their ass's kicked. Get a freaking life.

10. Last week police dogs were getting Kevlar vests, this week the brave men & women that are first on the scene don't get them.

TOP TEN MEXICAN JOINTS


In no order at all
1. Abuelos - Zona Rosa
2. Mi Ranchito - All over town
3. Ponaks - Southwest Blvd
4. La Fuente - Stanley
5. Salty Iguana - Prairie Village
6. Manny's - Southwest Blvd
7. Jalapenos - Lenexa & Stanley

8. Mi Cocina - Plaza Area

Best Fast Food Mexican
1. Taco Via - 95th and Antioch
2. In a Tub - N. Oak

Monday, July 21, 2008

KANSAS CITY IS UNDER ATTACK


READ IT


Starting today I am going to do a weekend wrap of what I think are the best blog post over the weekend. I thought about doing a daily wrap but my sidebar pretty much keeps people up to date on what people are talking about and Tony does a great job of spreading the word.

1. Midtown Miscreant - "Dude where is your car". I just stumbled upon Midtowns blog and I love it. This guy has the most interesting photos of KC on the net.

2. TonysKansas City - "KC MOPED RALLY" AWESOME FIND.

3. NickSloan - "KCK FIREWORKS REPORT"...Proving that KCK residents shouldn't be allowed to play with matches without proper JOCO supervision.

4. DEE - For her Tony Snow tribute.

5. BULL - BBQ'n with BOOZE...Thanks for the heads up! That is a class worth taking.

6. The Kansas Citian - Takes on KCMO Murder Rate.

SHOOTING/STABBING ODDS


I had to start including stabbings due to all of the criminals going green on us.

TODAYS OVER/UNDER:4

QUICK HITS - VIOLENT CRIME WRAP UP


It was a great weekend for violence in the metro. This is what you would call a Chamber of Commerce weekend. A weekend that a city should be proud of.......If that city was centrally located in Hell.

1. Stick and Stones will break, well a Semi.

2. Man gets stabbed to death over EBT CARD(WELFARE) by his 51 year old girlfriend. A true East Side love story.

3. Gardner, Ks best & brightest " I didn't know I stabbed him".

4. Dead bodies are popping up all over the place.

5. It isn't even safe to wash your car in KCK. KEEP THAT HOOPTIE DIRTY AND STAY ALIVE.

6. Man gets free hair cut (from knife) by home invader.

7. At least this guy can say that he got shot on the street named after the former Mayor.

8. Man shot on Central Avenue. Central to what? Hell?

PARENTING N DA HOOD


Seriously if you are a kid living in KCK or KCMO RUN FOR YOUR FREAKING LIFE!

1. KCK

2. KCMO

QUICK HITS - Non Violent Crime



1. THANK GOD! CYA STARBUCKS.

2. The worst driver in JOCO?

3. Did we really need a study to tell us that residents of KCMO were high most of the time?

4. MORE ARSON in KCMO..... Here is the challenge of the week, try to identify the building that burned this weekend on Prospect from any other building on Prospect.

5. Come to movie night and watch a movie that you have owned on DVD for 2 years! An idea like this could only come from KCMO city hall.

6. AND MORE ARSON......This city is on fire more than Detroit.

Friday, July 18, 2008

DID PHIL KLINE CRASH A GRADUATION CEREMONY?



Found this little video on CRIMESCENEKC..

THE CRANE KILLS 4


I don't think that Mr. Miyagi knew how truly deadly the crane was....

WEEKEND OVER/UNDER


THE NUMBER THIS WEEKEND IS: 5

I am expecting the Kcmo police department to go into the prevent defense which should allow the gang bangers the opportunity to move up and down the field. Let us just hope the the police department has a decent red zone defense and can hold them to field goals.

TOP TEN KCMO SCHOOLS VS PRISON


Is there a difference between the two?
1. Both are in old run down buildings
2. Both populations are split up amongst race
3. Both have metal detectors at the doors
4. Both are full of people that never graduate from High School.
5. Both are run by corrupt and incompetent people
6. If you get in trouble you go to solitary
7. People are released without rehabilitation/education because of over crowding.
8. Private companies do a better job of running both
9. There is a 50/50 chance of getting shanked in the yard.
10. Both are the last place you want your children to end up

Thursday, July 17, 2008

EAST SIDE PRODUCTION UP OVER LAST YEAR


I just read on crimescenekc that KCMO has 13 more murders this year over last year at the All Star Break. Earlier this year when the city came out with its number saying that violent crime was down I told you not to pay any attention to it. Many of you said that I was blowing thing out of proportion and that the city is getting safer. REALLY? Safer? To Who?

The Mayor, Police Board, Police Chief and media have no clue as to what is going on it this city. When was the last time there was a press conference given to address all the shootings in this city? When was the last time you watched a story on the local news that covered the gang problem in this city? Yeah I can't remember it either.

This city hides its head in the sand when it comes to crimes and is reactive instead of proactive.

I want to turn on the news at night and see raids on stash houses, gang roundups, guns coming off the streets. The neighborhoods in which these crimes occur need to be put on notice not left alone.

SHOOTING ODDS FOR TODAY


TODAYS OVER/UNDER: 2

I know that all of the signs point to an active day but don't be fooled. Odds makers everywhere know that Thursdays are traditionally slow shooting days. A lot of gang leaders give their team the day off in order to prepare for the big weekend performance.

QUICK HITS



1. The only thing worst than the "art" in the crossroads district is the pizza.

2. KCK isn't even safe for dogs...

3. This poor bastards last minutes of freedom were spent driving through KCK & KCMO. The prison scenery should be an upgrade.

4. People get killed in KCMO for just about anything including video game systems.

5. Gangbangers are now driving fuel efficient cars to perform their shootings. 54th & Highland.

6. EPA gives rednecks a price break in gas prices.

7. KCMO school teachers get paid what they are worth, finally. I still think that $0 is too much for the results.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

WE CAN'T CATCH KILLERS AND ARSONIST BUT



If you steal a Wii in the metro you have no chance. Chances are that gangsters on the East Side are using the Wii for drive by training through Grand Theft Auto. Recent shootings have shown that KC Gang Bangers have bad aim.

Believe it or not this robbery took place in the swanky neighborhood of 30th and Prospect.

I TOLD YOU


When I posted yesterday about regarding the favorable odds of waking up and finding dead bodies in your yard in the East Side people emailed me saying that it wasn't that bad over there. Well once again someone woke up this morning and guess what, THEY FOUND A DEAD BODY.

Why don't people want to admit that there is a SERIOUS problem with violent crime in this city? The police take down ONE gang leader and it makes news but what about the hundreds of people in line to take his place? Which ever media source picks up on this crap is going to have a sweeps hit.

LIBERALS WANT TO HIDE HOMELESS


If I hear this story on the street I wouldn't believe it but it is true. It appears that the Liberals (who care so much for the homeless, yeah right) don't want the homeless dirtying up their convention, so they are hiding them. ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS!

TODAYS OVER/UNDER


The conditions are ripe for a big night. After driving through the East Side yesterday I saw fresh gang graffiti and the temps are suppose to be hot tonight. Let us not forget that there are some payback shootings in the works for the big night we just had.
The Over/Under for tonight is:3

This may change as I review NEW data and study the European models.

QUICK HITS


1. PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE ARSON PROBLEM IN KC as more and more buildings are burned.

2. JOCO expands temporary housing for its KCK & KCMO visitors.

3. Could the Sprint cafeteria soon be serving dog?

4. Motorcyclist killed. RIP.

5. Thieves in KCK have no limits and are now they are stealing from freaking kids. Isn't it bad enough to be a kid in KCK? Do you really have to steal their playground equipment?

6. Stay trashy Kansas City.

7. McCain goes on suicide mission. I am sure this year of all years he will be especially well received by the NAACP.

8. Hip Hop fashion police hit Jersey.

9. Dementia and viagra lead to the arrest of a 94 year old man looking for Ho's.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

JESSE JACKSONS TIME IS UP


Just came across this little tidbit from Nas. where he tears into Jesse Jackson for his comments about Borat Ubama. Enjoy...

READING HEADLINES WRONG


Not that anyone gives a crap about this post but when I first read this headline I thought that the woman had divorced a midget. Oregon Woman Gets 140-Pound Tumor Removed

"Honey there is a dead body in the front yard"


Those of us in JOCO (especially SOJOCO) will probably never utter that phrase at 8am while going out front to pick up the front paper. It is something that you will probably say at least once if you live in the East Side.

I like how witnesses heard shots at aprox 3am BUT are so use to gunshots that they didn't bother to call the police. MAYBE, just a maybe, if they would of called 911 the guy could of been saved. What a freaking crap hole.

QUICK HITS


1. If carjacking were an Olympic Game Kansas City would be well represented.

2. 54th & Prospect, do I even need to tell you what happened after I type that address?

3. KCK makes up for slow weekend with a twofer.

4. What are the odds that these river racers will find at least one floater?

5. Gay & Lesbian group booted from Jackson County Park campground for drinking and unleashed dogs. This brings up an important topic worthy of discussion, do gay people own gay pets?

6. NOTE TO THE MIDDLE CLASS: DO NOT DONATE TO CHARITY, SAVE IT FOR YOURSELF OR THIS COULD BE YOU...

7. A school administration guilty of wasting money? Nahhhh.

8. "there is a rat in my soup"...

9. This guy would of been better of taking a multivitamin.

10. Booze and zoo's seem to be a problem in Europe. At least the Bears got a nice treat.

SHOOTING ODDS IN THE METRO


After 10 months of tracking metro crime I feel that I am qualified to start putting up some vegas style odds for shootings on a nightly basis in the metro area. Some of you might think that it is just a random number thrown out by me, but you are wrong. You have to study the "game", understand the players and the conditions.

Here are some(but not all) factors that I will be utilizing to create these odds.

1. Temperature - This is a nobrainer. The hotter it gets the more violent it gets.
2. Time of the Month - The further away from the 1st or 15th you are the more likely there is to be an armed robbery.
3. The headlines - If there is a drive by one night there is a good chance for retaliation the next night.
4. Concerts - If there is a Bay Area rapper having a concert in town, there will be a shooting.
5. Arrest made - Anytime the local police take down an alleged kinpin there will be a battle for that top spot.

TODAYS LINE IS : 2

AND OF COURSE THE MEDIA STILL IGNORES THE GANG PROBLEM IN KC.

Monday, July 14, 2008

CHICK+TOILET=ASS KICKING


How does this poor bastard show his face at work tomorrow?

SORRY HATERS


Does it get any worst for Missouri dwellers? Money magazine ranks the KANSAS suburb of OP as the 9th best place to live and Olathe the 11th best place. Lees Summit..........#79.

In other rankings Gangbanger Illustrated has ranked KCMO #4 in the nation, KCK finished #15.

UPDATE ON BLIGHT PHOTOS

Just an fyi.. I am still working on getting this done but as you can imagine it is difficult to get out and get all of these photos. I should have it done by Next Friday.

KANSAS CITY CRIMINALS CUTTING COSTS


Duct tape has long been none as a fix all tool for all do it yourselfers so it should be no surprise that KC criminals have started incorporating this into their robbery attempts. The only surprise is that criminals in this town were smart enough to think of duct tape instead of SCOTCH.

UNREADABLE ONCE AGAIN


I don't know why I keep going to the Sun publications website. It may be for the same reason people stop and look at car wrecks but I still venture to their crappy site once a week. This week Katrina Segers thought it would be topical to ask "what if an earthquake hit Kansas". Seriously. I can't wait for her follow up columns.

What if an asteroid where to hit Kansas?

What if dogs were called cats and cats were called dogs?

What if aliens attacked Kansas?

USA, USA, USA



NICE JOB OUTTA YOU!

SO LONG A - HOLE


Billy Packer is finally being replaced by CBS. This is great news for KU fans.

TOP 10 OBSERVATIONS ABOUT SOJOCO


Ever since moving into SOJOCO I have noticed that life out here is a bit different than the rest of JOCO. I am thinking about calling National Geographic and having them do a documentry based on suburb life in the SOJOCO( I am not kidding). There are things that go on out here that need to be documented and studied that are beyond my grasp and therefore need an expert analysis.

1. Play Dates- What the hell are these things? What ever happened to kids simply playing together? Now it is a big production requiring an invite AND they have to be with the right kids, your children can be social outcasts by the age 6 if you are not careful.

2. Where do you live? - This question is asked all the time when out and about in SOJOCO. This is a status test, because you can't answer Overland Park or Leawood, no no, they want a specific subdivision to see if you are worthy enough to associate with them.

3. HOA - These things are more restrictive and full of backstabbing than the Stalin regime. We got lucky and missed the civil war in our development but the drama is still there under the surface.

4. Mom Identifiers - Mothers in SOJOCO feel that the must call themselves "working mom" or "stay at home mom" as if that is their only identification in life. Do these women have no self esteem? Do they live to do what there husbands and kids demand? Get your own identity ladies and stop kissing the ass's of your husbands. MOM isn't your only label.

5. Live through their kids - I think that some of these parents were losers in High School and are trying to be what they weren't through their kids. I have witnessed people with no athletic ability whatsoever scream at their 9 year old for not putting enough break on the curve ball. I have heard about parents holding kids back a year in order for them to be the biggest kid on the team. Parents have even move their kids out of an one elementary school and into another because their was a kid that was better than them at their position.

6. OBX Stickers - If you have one of these on the back of your ride OR a similar sticker with your "subdivision" in initials you need to go F yourself. I don't care where you live or where you vacation.

7. Kids Cars - The site of a 16 year old in a 60k Lexus makes me want to puke. Whatever happened to getting a job and earning money for your own car? Some parents are passing off these cars to their kids for "good grades" or because they don't have TIME to work. THEY ARE IN HIGHSCHOOL, THEY CAN FIND THE TIME.

8. Retail - Who the hell can afford to shop at the stores that are going up in SOJOCO? Are people putting all this crap on credit cards? I would have to cash in my 401k just to buy a T-Shirt at some of these stores.

9. Restaurants are all the same - These place have no identity other than a sign out front. Where the hell are the locals? How about a nice Mom & Pop place with a unique menu?

10. 119TH STREET - This seems to be the great divide. If you ask anyone is SOJOCO if they have been some place on the other side of 119th street they look at you as if you are speaking a foreign language. It is almost as if 119th street is some man made river with no bridge. Of course the same can be said for people that live in NKC (never go south of the river) and Lees Summit(Grandview Triangle)

QUICK HITS


To say that it was an interesting news weekend in the metro would be an under statement.

1. KSHB news crew gets run over by man in wheelchair...... Right now Ash-har Quraishi( KCTV 5) is kicking himself for not thinking of it first..

2. 40 shots fired into Grandview IHOP, 4 hit.....Gang Violence is becoming more common in the Missouri burb.

3. KCK residents die trying to install TV antenna....

4. Independence continues to produce more dumped dead bodies....Their dead body output may surpass their meth output by years end.

5. Scooter takes on bus...Bus wins in Lawrence. On a side note the only thing more annoying than cyclist guy is scooter guy. These idiots are not required to have a motorcycle license and have no idea how to ride them.

6. I hate St. Louis so this is good news in my opinion even if it is bad for America.

SHOOTING ODDS


If you took the under(the number was set at 6 by Vegas) going into this weekend then you are a winner. Who would of thought that out of 5 shootings NONE of them happened in KCMO or KCK. Was there a full moon out this weekend? Something is wrong here....